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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu about other peoples comments regarding my pregnancy bump/

47 replies

blackbettybambalam · 29/06/2015 15:48

Ok, ok, ok... Probably done to death, but I'm needing the voice of reason today.

Why do some people find it acceptable to keep telling me how massive I am??? I accept that as a size 14 (with body ruined by previous pregnancy) I was never going to look tiny and delicate, but do people have to comment on this every day? If I wasn't pregnant, this behaviour would be construed as rude...why do people not think it is now? I don't feel particularly attractive and I don't need other peoples confirmation of this.
The worst thing is, I'm only 26 weeks
. I've got this for another few months, don't I?

Please help me with some sarky replies....
Th

OP posts:

OhahIlostmybra · 29/06/2015 19:45

I am not measuring nude, I wouldn't inflict my nudity on anyone. I am measuring under!

elderflowerlemonade · 29/06/2015 19:45

Steady on hot no one is saying that is true - just that people often think commenting on a noticeably large bump is a positive thing, sign of a healthy growing baby.

People like to see healthy looking pregnant women I think :)

AlwaysDancing1234 · 29/06/2015 19:51

You have my sympathy. Every single time I saw MIL she would say "look at the size of you" or "Oooh you've popped out" even once when the a only seen her 6 hours previously! I think people just need something to say but why they can't just say "how are you doing" or something I don't know!

itsonlysubterfuge · 29/06/2015 19:56

People didn't even notice I was pregnant until I was around 30 weeks and I'm was a size 16. I was worried everyone was just thinking I was getting fat.

Sansarya · 29/06/2015 19:59

I just don't get why pregnancy means it's fair game to comment on a woman's body. If people are interested then why not just ask her how she is or if she's got a lot of stuff for the baby yet etc. There's no need to comment on the size of her bump.

Vanillaradio · 29/06/2015 20:00

I used to get "Are you sure its not twins?" at least once a day. Together with comments about how enormous the baby was going to be. Really annoying! Ds was 7lb 5 btw! Yanbu!

RonaldosAbs · 29/06/2015 20:00

God you sound so negative. Why are you angry about this? Be grateful that your body can carry and deliver a child.

Your body is not "ruined", you can change it if you want to, if it bothered you that much you wouldn't be an unhappy 14 would you?

So ungrateful, people are trying to nice "ooh, nice big healthy baby", they aren't calling you fat, get over yourself.

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 29/06/2015 20:00

Just tell them it's a huge trapped fart.

Sansarya · 29/06/2015 20:04

Ronaldos why should the OP feel gratitude for people commenting on her body? It isn't acceptable at other times so why during pregnancy? As I said in my PP, why not just ask how the pregnancy is going rather than say "OMG you're so huge"? It isn't rocket science!

Baguettes · 29/06/2015 20:08

Trapped fart

BathshebaDarkstone · 29/06/2015 20:14

I know how you feel, I get people saying the opposite to me: "Have you lost weight?" The. Same. Four. People. Every. Time. I. See. Them. Yes, I gave up eating in 2003.

1Morewineplease · 29/06/2015 20:22

Blimey!!! Had no idea that pregnant women took it so personally!!! When people comment on pregnancy sizes it's just to do with the size of the bump... Baby bumps can seem to explode almost overnight!!!! Stop being so sensitive!!!...can't tell you the number of expectant mums who have come into work and complained of feeling "massive"!!!!! ... It's only temporary!!!! ( or not as the case may be!!!) when people comment on your bump they're not commenting on YOU!!!! Chill out!!!!

duckbilled · 29/06/2015 20:26

Of course they are commenting on you, your bump is your growing uterus, which is part of you. I agree with a pp, just tell pregnant women they look well and ask how they are feeling, it's the kindest (and safest!) thing.

hotfuzzra · 29/06/2015 20:46

Sorry Elderflower that was several months of angst that I never got to vent at anyone in my post. I'm sure everyone who comments on a pregnant woman's bump is trying to be positive but it shouldn't be acceptable to comment on a woman's (or man's) size, whether she's carrying another human inside her or not!

Snowflake15 · 29/06/2015 20:52

I don't mind the comments on bump so much, but today a colleague spent ages going "oh you used to be so slim bless you, your thighs and bum are huge now, how weird!'.... What the fuck!!!

Original poster

blackbettybambalam · 29/06/2015 21:03

Thanks everyone, good to know I'm not the only one driven crazy by this! And yy to a public information campaign! I do understand that some people don't know the correct things to say, but my colleagues and friends can surely pull something a bit more imaginative out the bag? Or just talk to me like they did 26 weeks ago?

What was the response from boots grandma? Sounds like something I would do

OP posts:

Original poster

blackbettybambalam · 29/06/2015 21:10

I'm absolutely stealing the trapped fart answer!!!

ronaldo I'm not an unhappy 14, I don't mind my normal size. I'm not sure how to fix the multiple stretch marks\saggy skin\nipples staring at the floor though they're here to stay unfortunately until I come into lots of money for nips and tucks

As I said in a pp, I am eternally grateful for being able to carry a child, but not two as everyone seems to believe!

OP posts:

ifgrandmahadawilly · 02/07/2015 20:24

BlackBerry, boots refused to deal With my complaint by emailemail. For some reason they would only speak to me via phOne. I'm extremely shy on the phone so I just dropped the whole thing.

DrCoconut · 02/07/2015 20:51

29 weeks here, I look like I've swallowed a space hopper, I've been in maternity trousers since 12 weeks and I'm not bothered by my size or what people say/think. It's DC3 so I'm maybe just used to it all.

paddypants13 · 02/07/2015 21:47

I am 39 plus 5 and I am huge and I know I'm huge despite that fact that I have actually lost weight in my pregnancy. (Was fairly overweight to begin with so this is a good thing.) My baby is also on the large side (over 9lbs if the chart is anything to go by.) I get lots of comments about my size but it's usually people trying to be kind and often going out of their way to help me so YAB a teeny bit U. I am sick of the multiples jokes though. I went for a late scan (query transverse lie) at 37 weeks and even the bloody doctor made a joke about seeing one head and then another! He stopped laughing when I looked him in the eye and told him if it was twins I'd sue the hosp!

As for touching bump without an invite, do so only if you wish to die...

WoonerismSpit · 02/07/2015 21:53

When I was 28 weeks gone a woman working in Clintons asked how long I had left. "12 weeks" I cheerfully replied. Her response?
"Jesus. Christ".

Somebody on the boots photo counter told me my scan was wrong (she enquired about the sex and I said DD) because my bump was obviously a boy. I smiled thinking she was joking, but she was deadly serious!

Saz12 · 02/07/2015 22:05

I had the opposite problem - a teeny bump (but a big arse, though APPARENTLY the two were unrelated). It pissed me off a LOT when people (ie near-strangers) commented on my teeny bump and "was everything OK", and I developed bump-envy by about 35 wks.
I think people just struggle to say something - they want to try and comment on an amazing, positive thing - so people are trying to say to you "what a lovely big bump" and you hear "what a fat biffer". People wanted to say to me "what a neat little bump" and I heard "you barren witch/crow, your poor baby is tiny!".

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