Not to be able to unpack a house with a 4 year old and baby?!

[lill72]

Ah - we have just moved house and I am keen to get it sorted ASAP - though it is seemingly impossible with a baby to do more than 5 minute stints of work. Even when my 4 year old is in nursery all day, it is virtually impossible. I have no family to help, so currently looking into a childminder a friend uses, as I need DD oout of the house to do the unpacking. Mega frustrating. Any suggestions from anyone who has been in a similar position?

Previous posters have had great ideas ... Give older child a box and put babe in sling... Just takes longer that's all.. Am more interested in the fact that your DD needs you to "stand" up and that you can't put your eight month old down for more than five minutes!

Hi thanks for all your suggestions - some great ideas which I am going to try.

1morewineplease - was saying if I have the 8 month old in a sling, I have to stand. she doesnt like sitting in it.

The 4 year old can occupy herself for ages - she is not the problem, it is the combination of both of them.The baby is always with me. The 4 year old needs to be closely supervised with the baby, as she likes picking her up and is rough with her though not meaning to be.

And yes I can't put my 8 month old down for more than 5 mins as she starts crying/whinging as she wants attention/somenone to play with. Wouldnt have thought this was abnomal? I have tried to give her stuff to play with while I am in the roomunpacking, but it still doesnt seem to work. The few minutes I get at a time are so frustrating. I would rather just blitz it. I am going to get a childminder. use sitters, but prefer to have the house to myself.

Hmm , to the couple that said just crack on - and it was easy, well maybe you had different circumstances, so indeed it was easier. We are barely sleeping enough with bub and orgnanising everything whilst dealing with a definant 4 year old meaning we often dont get to start anything til 9pm By this time, I am exhausted. Just dont be too quick to judge

Anyway - loving the suggestion esp those involving the boxes - will give theem a go thank you!

YANBU.

It took me three weeks to get about 75% unpacked when I moved with a 6 month old, a 2.5 year old and a 5 year old who was spending 2.5 hours a day in school (in the US where school days can be short for early years). I barely got DD1 packed off to school when I had to go out and pick her up again. DS(2) was into everything -- piles of sorted stuff got mixed up in seconds. The baby crawled around and put everything into her mouth including dirt and god-knows-what that she dug out from under the fridge and cooker (previous owners left the place filthy) and DS's toys.

Babies wanting almost constant attention from mum is not at all abnormal in my experience. I tried a carrier for DD2 but I was doing a lot of leaning over and it wasn't practical. She had started crawling and just cried in the portable sleep-n-play.

DS liked boxes, and DD1 too, and they both liked TV. However I had to take frequent breaks for cooking, feeding, cleaning up after feeding, watering, pottying (DS dry but needed help wiping), changing nappies, answering endless questions 'Why?' from DS, and trying to concentrate was difficult with all of that going on while at the same time keeping an eagle eye out for behaviour of both DS and DD1 with baby DD2. It was a stressful time, and sleepless nights added to it -- DD2 was teething like crazy. The older two liked the TV and played with the boxes, but they squabbled plenty, and they somehow needed endless snacks, spilled drinks, etc. DD2 loved sorting through a basket of odds and ends and I could set her down and let her at it, but invariably she crawled over to me to sort through whatever odds and ends I was dealing with most of the time.

I had no family to help and didn't know any neighbours. After buying the house we didn't have two pennies to rub together so babysitters were out.

I got on with it as much as possible, and everyone lived to tell the tale. But I was exhausted afterwards. This was after I had done all the bloody packing too. exH couldn't be bothered, just liked chivvying people around but was useless with actual contributions to anything that had to be done.

At least we didn't have a cat at that point in my life.

It's awfully hard. I don't think there are any magic solutions unless you can afford a babysitter. With that sort of task I used to stick the baby in a bouncy chair and just resign myself to doing everything in two-minute bursts... sigh.

The thought of trying to use a sling while bending and stooping and straightening up and bending down again and dragging heavy things out of boxes makes me shudder. I like slings for walking around in, but never really understood how people use them when doing household tasks.

Oh OP I feel for you. Moving is so horrendous as it is, and much worse than kids. I think babies under 1 are a full time job, if you can get anything else done with one you are lucky, and that's without other DC to take into account. YANBU.

Much worse with kids

If you figure it out let me know! We moved in December with a five month old and still have quite a few boxes not unpacked!

I am a huge sling fan but they are not the answer here. You can't lift boxes to move them from room to rom or do a lot of bending with a baby strapped to the front of you. It just doesn't work. All you can really do is go at it during nap times and weekends when your OH is around so one of you can watch the kids. We also got my parents to come for a couple of visits at weekends so we could do bits together while they had the baby.

And none of the DCs had experienced stairs before apart from the outside stairs to our apartment that they only climbed when I was with them, so of course they just had to keep on climbing them, jumping down them (fine for DD1 but DS had a few falls), doing funny walks/jumps/climbing up and down backwards on them, plus they managed to leave the baby gate open a few times too until I read them the riot act. The stairs were a baby magnet.

When the kids go down have a strong coffee and get unpacking. It will suck the next day but you should be able to get through a good chunk of it. I had a few all nighters to get through lots and then DH flew back for the weekend and we got through the rest.

Next time I'm hiring a professional packing and unpacking team or I will donate all my contents to charity and start again!

Have you got a sling you can do a back carry with? This was a revelation to me - once they are on your back it is much easier to do household tasks - I strap DS in for half an hour whilst I get on with hoovering, hanging out washing, tidying etc.

lill72 - I was one of the ones that said in my experience it was easier to put in a fast burst of work early on. Having moved twice in the previous eight years with various ages of children before our most recent move , we knew that any boxes that weren't unpacked within a week weren't ever going to get unpacked.

For this last move we had an awful sleeper (18 months old), no family help, 2 older DC who had their own issues (bedwetting and stroppy pre-teen) so I don't think I am being unsympathetic to your circumstances as I was on my knees with exhaustion. But we literally found that the only way to do it was to go quickly and it was a lot easier; in previous moves the procrastination was the problem - with being tired especially. Like I said if you could get them both looked after and crack on for a day, or preferably two, you should get it done - when you say "we", I take it you have a partner and that he isn't at work 7 days a week, so on his day off send him out with the DC and just do it - I promise that is easier than looking at the boxes, stressing about how you're going to get it done, worrying about settling your youngest with a childminder etc. Sounds like the childminder one or two days a week would be a good idea for you in the long term anyway if life is so stressful.

Does the 8-m-o nap? Surely that gives you an hour here and there?

But honestly, I really would plonk him/her in a box with some toys, and cbeebies. Yes it's not ideal, but needs must, and a non-unpacked house would send me absolutely bonkers.

Yes baby needs to be on back in a sling, on front they will just be in the way. That's how people overseas work in the fields etc as baby on back isn't in the way when you bend down or carry things

I say set yourself a goal, a box a day, plough through it and you will soon get it done. Can a friend come and at least cuddle baby for an hour, you be amazed how much you can get done. Before you empty them so you have enough storage to load the contents into as that hugely speeds things up if you are just loading shelves or cupboards rather than struggling to find a place for things?

Speaking as someone who carried one of my DDs on my back for two or three hours daily from age 6/7 months to age 2ish while I tried to get housework done (because she wouldn't leave me alone, cried incessantly, and hardly ever napped) it is incredibly hard work to do this. I had her in a back sling to begin with and she graduated into a back harness designed for easy hiking with your toddler. Babies lean and wriggle and you are constantly bracing to try not to be toppled, especially when leaning or reaching all the exertions you encounter when trying to unpack in other words. It gets hot too when you're doing physical work, and it's hard on your knees and hips and back when you are getting up from digging in a box. Carrying items in front while also carrying a baby on your back means extra weight. You can compensate by making more trips but your legs suffer. I didn't have unpacking to do while carrying DD3 around just laundry, cooking, carrying groceries in from the car, hoovering, emptying and loading the dishwasher, but my knees and my back hurt all the time.

Unpacking can all be done, with small children and babies. It just takes so much time and energy and it is frustrating to see your home so upside down and inside out. You really feel you are at the mercy of your children when you try to tackle a major job like this, and this adds to the stress.

If you just plod on and do your best, take deep breaths, remember to stay hydrated if it's hot, and try to reassure yourself that it will all get done eventually, you will get it done.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. I am going to try and get done what i can. Yes the 8 month old does nap but she has just gone down now and now I have to pick up the 4 year old. So the times I actually have are sparse. But I have done a little this morning.

DH and I have decided we might hire a nanny for a day and get them to keep babies out of the house as much as possible and in the park and tow of us will plough through it. Think this is the only way. The place is smaller than the last, so there is no way boxes can stay unpacked It all has to be sorted. fingers crossed!!