To think you don't let your children ruin film showings

[miaowmiaowhiss]

Arghhh still so annoyed. Just been to see Jurassic World, in a little 50/60 seater screen. Lots of people clearly had thought dinosaur=children's film, so there were lots children, even as young as 4/5. Now this isn't particularly a problem - if your DC are mature enough to deal with fairly scary scenes and a lot of blood, fine - but there was a family on the other side of the cinema with a DS and DD, aged about 5 and 6.

They. Did. Not. Stop. Talking.

The entire way through the film, the DC were chatting to each other at full volume - eg 'Why is there blood there? Look at all the BLOOD', 'What is it doing?', 'Why is it there?' and laughing/joking doing serious or climatic bits.

They were incredibly loud - the entire cinema kept shushing them and there was definitely resentful British sighs. I was on the other side of the cinema and I could hear every word and it was really, really distracting. Absolutely no sign that the parents were slightly bothered by it, and they certainly didn't try and keep them quiet.

So: AIBU to think that you don't take young children to the cinema when they can't be trusted to remain reasonably quiet and not distract people around them, and that you especially don't take them to films they clearly can't understand? Argh!

I once got 3 ten year olds chucked out of the cinema. They'd been chucking pop corn and being idiots throughout the trailers. I thought they might settle down once the film started but they didn't. They were worse. So I got an usher and they were escorted out.

They were definitely under 12 so shouldn't have been in unaccompanied as it was.

We went to see Minions today. Whole place was packed and I was initially annoyed at all the rustling and talking but when the film started the kids were actually all really good. Very small boy behind me spoke a couple of times and that was only thing I could actually hear (although I did wonder why they took a child who looked under 2 to see a film, surely they won't follow it/be that engaged for the length of a film).

What you describe would have severely pissed me off. We purposely go to the cheap slightly scabby cinema because it's always dead and family ticket is £16.80 as opposed to nearly £40 for the posh nicer cinema. I guess as it's opening weekend lots of people had the same thought as us.

I did nearly lose my shit in the queue though when the bloke in front saw his friend in the next queue which was really long, he shouted over to her what did she want and she said 1 thing so he let her come and queue with him. I assumed he was getting it for her with his ticket but nope, he let her just go in front, then she proceed to buy loads and take ages. I was not impressed as we already queued for about half and hour!

I hate the 12A certificate, it just encourages selfish parents to bring children to films they are way to young for because they don't have child care.

I worked in a cinema and I remember an occasion when I new member of staff came running up to me all hysterical about a boy who couldn't breathe.

She had found a boy in the corridor hysterical and hyperventilating, he was having a panic attack because he had been so scared by Lord of the Rings. He was only about eight and kept asking me not to make him go back in.

Since he didn't want to go back in and couldn't give any clear indication where his group was sitting I waiting the twenty minutes or so for his useless father to bother to come and look for him. The child was still crying when his father turned up, the first thing the guy said to me was to ask me not to tell his ex-wife! How he thought I was going to report his bad parenting to his ex-wife I don't know but I refused to allow the child to return to the screen even though his father kept insisting (the tickets of the whole group which included another younger child were refunded).

This happened on a regular basis, terrified kids coming out of late night showings crying having seen completely inappropriate films. If I saw an upset child on a screen check I would quietly suggest to the parent that if their child was finding the film too upsetting we could offer them the chance to change to a different film or be refunded, most didn't take me up on the offer. Some suggested that their child could just sit with me in the corridor though

With regard to autism and cinema screenings both my sons are autistic, I will only be taking them to the cinema when I can be reasonably sure they will behave appropriately, if they were disruptive I would take them out.

I think there is a balance between allowing them to enjoy the cinema and allowing everyone else to enjoy the cinema.

On a more random note regarding cinema goers with additional needs when I worked there we once went in to clean the screen and there was a man with downs syndrome and his mother still in after everyone had left (credits still rolling). We waiting at the side as we do if any customers are still present and the man's mother apologised for the delay and said he liked to stay to dance to the song at the very end of the credits We said that was fine and we all ended up dancing with him. It is one of my favourite memories and the man and his mother came in regularly and the staff would always dance with him, if he still visits I hope they still do.

I had to suffer Performance Dad throughout Life of Pi. "look, Tarquin! A boat! What does it say on the side of the boat? Shall we spell it?"

Jurassic world was shit. And not appropriate for 4-6 year olds.

Such weak characterisations and so fully sexist. Was like a 80s throwback. 3 female characters out of about 15. One sobbing mother, one control freak workaholic childless career woman who fawned all over the 'hero' and a sidekick geeky girl.

Also the first three people killed where the black man, the fat man and the Asian man. There were a couple of token non-white people, including the not in the least bit stereotypical sciency Asian/Chinese, but immoral character.

Seriously outdated.

I'd go nuts at this - surely 12a means no kids under this age?

On the flip side, I sat in a film with some unaccompanied 8 year olds. I waited to do battle, but they were as good as gold.

Oh god, Imustgodowntotheseaagain, that would have made me want to choke the dad on his popcorn. What a twat!

Lilicat, that is lovely about the man and the staff dancing with him.

I took dd to see Return of the King when she was 7/8 because she had seen the first two films on dvd and I felt she was old enough to manage the third. She was fine. Not at all scared and sat quietly, except to complain about the loud teens behind us.

12a means a child needs to be older than 12 or any age accompanied by someone over eighteen.

YouTheCat, he was a great guy and he always cheered up our shifts. I loved his enthusiasm and it was always nice when he came in.

I don't think Lord of the Rings is unsuitable for all younger children, I think all 12a films are a judgement call which ideally parents should make with their child's interests at heart. Unfortunately some ignore their child's best interests because they would like to see the film and they don't have childcare which is why I hate the 12a rating.

It was set up with the idea that parents could choose what is appropriate which seems like a good idea and is for sensible parents but a selfish minority put their own needs before their child's.

I don't agree with this idea that if you go to a showing before 8pm, you should put up with children behaving badly.

We aren't

Most of those ruining the cinema for me have been young adults/late teens.

COMPLETELY ruined Paranormal Activity 4 with their whooping and screaming and shite. Complained but nobody done sweet F All ... Annoys me as tickets are not cheap either .. No wonder cinema going is dying out.

That's the thing though, it's sad that quite a few parents don't seem to be able to work out if a film is appropriate or not.

Woman in Black was a 12a and no way would I have taken a child under 12 to see it.

The reason dd only got to see the first two LOTR films on dvd was because I decided she was too young at 5/6 to sit through them in the cinema and was concerned she might not be able to follow the story. She probably would have been fine but I wasn't going to spend all that money on tickets and then have to leave half way through. And I wasn't going to impose my child's potential upset on others (if she'd been frightened).

People seem to see it as some 'right' to be able to go to the cinema. I had many years of not being able to go because of not having a reliable babysitter. This might explain why I've got over 600 dvds on my shelves.

Youthecat

Op yanbu at all. I really want to see jurassic park but my oh hates the cinema because ot this!
The last paranormal activity film was ruined for us due to a group behind who sat there taking, kicking the seats and laughing, untill my 16 stone biker bf finally lost it and shouted at them to shut up. Film was almost over then though.
Can't stand inconsiderate people. The cinema is so expensive now.

My youngest was 3 when the 1st LOTR film was released. He behaved perfectly at the cinema, there's no reason to exclude all under 12s from the cinema even if the film is somewhat "adult"

BTW and autistic friendly screening would be a nightmare for my autistic child. He would be furious that people were talking and moving about because its against the rules!

My ds (ASD) would be exactly the same He told a class mate off last week for messing around and not finishing his work by saying "how do you expect to get a good job with that attitude"! He's 7...

In your situation OP I would have talked to the cinema staff since this wasn't really a film for very young dc.

I see plenty of kids at school, over the age of 8, who don't seem to be able to manage to sit still for more than 15 minutes at a time (these aren't kids with additional needs). I'd hate to go to the cinema with them.

I really want to go and see the new Terminator film but am a bit disappointed that it's a 12a.

Minion, dd would have said the same at that age. She has Aspergers. She hates people not doing what they are supposed to. It's all very black and white to her.

YANBU. Really pisses me off.

My DD is 22 an appears totally NT. I still wouldn't go to the cinema with her. She talks all the way through films. The problem is that she can't always pick up the subtext so a lot of what she's seeing doesn't make sense to her. The other problem is that she's oblivious to the fact that her whisper would give a foghorn a run for it's money.

Minion thats so sweet x

YANBU

I take my almost 4 year old to age appropriate theatre where she sits quietly engrossed. If I wanted to take her to the cinema I would go to the morning kids club for £2.50 with adults go free.

If I want to treat her teenage siblings to an age appropriate treat without her at the cinema I don't expect it to be ruined by someone else's badly behaved tot.

Re go to evening showings if you want adult friendly. My DH has MS. He is not fit to go to the cinema in the evening. There must be plenty other disabled / old / childcare challenged adults who also prefer afternoon showings.

Actually though we tend to watch films at home as taking a family of 5 is a mighty expensive afternoon out.

Minion my DS is 7 too - sounds like they'd be perfect for each other