To want to tell the EWO to fuck off with his shitty letter?

[ASorcererIsAWizardSquared]

There is 3 weeks left of term.

I had a letter about DD's attendance earlier in the year as it had dropped to 92% after a couple of nasty stomach bug/vomiting episodes.

The school itself has a strict 48hr exclusion from the last incident of vomiting/diarrhea btw.

just to give you a run down..
she had 1 day off in november (flu)
1 day at the beginning of feb (high temp)
3 days in the middle of feb (tummy bug + 48hr exclusion)
3 days in march (tummy bug + 48hr exclusion)
2 days off this month (tummy bug + 48hr exclusion)

So she's had a total of 9 days, just under 2 whole weeks of term. 5 of which were down to the schools own strict 48hr exclusion policy.

Yesterday i got another shitty letter pointing out her attendence is at 94.2% and shows 'no significant improvement (so 92 - 94% isn't an improvement) and that if she's off again unless i provide medical evidence from the dr, it will go down as unauthorised absence.

And then a shitty little "may i remind you of the law" section where they bold "the parent of every child of statutory school age is compelled by law to ensure such a child attends school unless there is a reasonable excuse for non-attendance"

Erm.. scuse me? Her attendance has improved, and more than half of it is because of the schools own fucking policy!

I really want to write back and tell him to go fuck himself.

The point is that the letter wasn't sent by a teacher and in my experience isn't representative of the way teaches communicate.

I would be hopping mad too OP - DD2 aged 6 who is robust and healthy and doesn't eat dodgy food or not wash hands (love the victim blaming early in the thread!) has had x2 vomiting bugs this term.

Both caught at school from other children.
Both requiring 3 days off to comply with THEIR 48 hour policy (she was absolutely fit for school on day 3 both times but I followed their rules)

If I had got a letter like that OP I would have been really irked! So in order to not get a snarky letter you have to break their 48 hour rule to the detriment of other DC in the class. Kafkaesque nonsense.

And I don't agree that its best to "just ignore it" "its not worth it". If you are going to send me a letter criticising my behaviour you better be damn sure I have done something wrong - if so fair cop if not I will be making a fuss about it!

Agree that ignoring or binning the letters lets them get away with and has resulted in the current stupidity. People get ill joining new places be it school, freshers flu or even someone joining our workplace who hadn't worked before (illness does the rounds as we get no sick pay so people with d and v work) The attendance targets should be adjusted for reception and yr 7.

I wouldn't ignore the letter. I would write back and point out that the 5 days which are the school's exclusion days do not count towards the total as that was not down to me, and therefore my dc's attendance is x% not the % they have said.

They will argue that it counts, but if they've said a child can't attend school, that HAS to be authorised absence. The same would apply if it was an exclusion for bad behaviour. If you take your child out of school (for illness, holiday, whatever), the school has a choice whether to authorise or not authorise. If the school decides your child is not to attend school, that is authorised. It cannot be otherwise.

Send sick dc to school and then you have evidence if teacher wants to send home get written evidence child is sick

" These kind of letters sent to parents who obviously care about their children do my head in

I would say that 99 per cent of parents 'obviously care' about their children.
What are you saying, that middle class ones should be exempt from these rules?

OP the letter is generated automatically by the attendance figures, and the EWO is simply doing his job.

what you can do is find out his/her name and make an appointment to go and see him/her - get them on side.

But what are the rules? Improve attendance by sending your child to school on the off chance that they might throw up and you will have to collect them; or obey the 48 hour rule? Do you really need to factor the cost of sick notes into your budget when your child misses school because of illness? Are teachers really happy to sort out 5 year olds with diarhoea?

Is it really best to calpol your child up and send them to school? Are you supposed to spend the day sitting outside with a flask and a book in case they need to be collected, or do school secretaries actually have nothing better to do than look after sick children?

How are you supposed to do the right thing?

Some parents lie to school and "take a sick day" when they don't want their child to go to school for some reason.

Those reasons may be because the child has a cigarette burn that they don't want the school to see. It may be because they don't have any clean uniform because they've been sofa surfing over the weekend, or it may be because their parent is too drunk to drop them off at school.

School Attendance monitoring is a key part of our societies safeguarding measures in place for children at risk. Repeated, unexplained absences can be an indicator of neglect or abuse. So, in order to make sure that parents are "telling the truth", when their DC has had repeated time off, the school will ask for a sick note or similar.

Just because most parents are an engaged with the school, and most children are not at risk, doesn't mean that they school can set aside the processes that are in place to protect a small minority of children from harm. Yes, it's unpleasant for those of us with genuinely ill kids, but if it helps identify another child that is at risk of harm, I think I can put up with it.

exactly peruvian, and being middle class does not exclude you from that, as some people seem to think.

Id be surprised if it made the slightest bit of difference to those really in need. Just antagonises the majority. The state cannot go round criticising law abiding adults with little "may I remind you of the law" type comments if they have done nothing but follow the rules the state have put in place. FFS I would be furious.

There's nothing wrong with politely making contact with parents of children are absent more than usual.

What's wrong is taking an accusatory tone from the outset as it just pisses parents off. There is absolutely no sane argument in favour of treating parents like naughty school kids until you are certain they have done something wrong (and even then, haranguing them may not get the best results).

Dear school,
If you don't believe me maybe next time I'll bring him in so he can vomit on you. Would that then be an authorised absence?

Ok not really, I would neither send it or do it but man it would tempting!

I can see the need for standardised letters, that way no one can complain that they have been treated poorly. There is a way to make them kinder though and still get the point across.

It also has to point out all the legal shit camel...

Well for a start it might say that it is automatically generated and sent to the parents of every child who has an attendance % or lower. It might say that they are required to inform the parent of the law. It could also say that as it is an automatically generated letter it may not take into account circumstances that have already been discussed with school.

I'm sure mumsnet collectively could come up with one that worked :)

Our GP surgery has a system that automatically generates a letter for school based on the notes the GP types into the system during the appointment. It's not done as a separate letter and costs nothing.

Maybe you could ask if your surgery does the same, OP?

They're standard letters but the wording on them is horrible. Doesn't distinguish at all between parents who don't care about their kids' attendance and those who would always send them in when well enough.

Had the same with DS1 after years of regular vomiting, which got worse when he was about 8. Eventually pinned it down as migraines triggered by cheese and chocolate. Offending foods excluded from his diet and he's been sick all of once in 2 years after we all got clobbered by a nasty virus last winter.

When my dd was in primary school there was a young lad there who had leukaemia, and had a very low immune system following treatment. The school asked us all to keep children at home if they had so much as a bit of a sniffle, as it could have been very serious for the poor boy if he caught even a cold from another pupil.

Don't even think for a second pieceofpurplesky that you are in any position to tell me off. Your post illustrates my point entirely.

I stated that schools are incapable of communicating with respect and authority, I also said that if the letter came from the LA, the same comment applies.

Im not educated to post grad level, but I can (and do) communicate effectively, persuasively without condescension and with respect to many varied and at times, challenging audiences..

its not hard. My ds can manage it.