To not want to go abroad when pregnant (high risk pregnancy)

[SweetCharlotteRose]

We had booked a fortnight in Spain for August. In fact we had specifically booked these dates to fit in with my cycle as we were planning on having further donor fertility treatment whilst there.

Then out of the blue Ive fallen pregnant. I'm now 8 weeks - I would be around 13 weeks or so when we are due to go. I'm a type 1 diabetic so high risk anyway and I've also got quite bad morning (ha ha ha) sickness which I also had with ds. Stupidly we didn't take out insurance when we booked as usually we take it out a month or so before we go.
In all honesty I don't want to go, particularly for two weeks. I'm worried about the heat upsetting my sugars, getting a bug whilst there, the fact I won't be able to go in the pool much as I have an insulin pump. Usually I just disconnect and sort my sugars out after but my sugars are more erratic than usual when pregnant and I won't take the risk of my sugars being too high as it's damaging for the baby.

Obviously I'm only 8 weeks so there's no saying I will still even be pregnant in five or six weeks time but if I am Aibu to not want to go? Dh is having a sulk about it. I'm struggling with sickness plus diabetes plus just generally being stunned by the fact I'm pregnant which we never thought would happen. Two weeks seems a long time to be away.

Would you go? Am I being previous?

I went to Portugal for two weeks when pregnant and also have type 1 (injections not pump). I felt similar but did go in the end. It was fine but it was a very different holiday than we'd usually have, a lot of sitting around out of the sun and taking things far more slowly than we would have done previously. It's about what you're comfortable with though, so if you don't want to go then absolutely don't.

Can you afford to lose the money?

If so, there's no conversation to be had. Just cancel.

(When 12weeks pregnant)

Could he go with his mum or dad and bring DS? Failing that, get it on a couple of local buy and sell Facebook pages- you won't get all your money back but a couple of hundred quid towards it will soften the blow. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy it's now time to practice getting your DH to pull his weight!

In view of your last post OP. You clearly need to take great care of yourself.

I can't believe you DH is being so unreasonable about the holiday.

In your shoes, there's no way I'd be going.

Perhaps as pps have said your DH should take your DS on the holiday - might make him realise how hard it is to look after a small child 24 hours a day - and you could maybe have some time - second the spa idea - on your own relaxing and looking after you and your precious baby.

Yep i had a Bridget jones moment on holiday and had to get a pregnancy test from a pharmacy. found out i was 8 weeks pg on holiday and spent the next two weeks miserable, hot and tired. Not being able to eat or drink anything. Just kept spewing!
Stay at home i would!

Also congratulations!

The money is a red herring. Whether you go or not the money is spent and gone so forget that.

Yours and baby's health had to be the number 1 priority. If that means you don't go if that is the best/safest option so be it.

Your DH knows what your pregnancy is like. Yes I understand he may be disappointed however he needs to pull up his big boy pants and accept it. Not sulk like a child.

You also need to address his lack of basic parenting as in future you will not be able to go into the pool with eldest DC and look after youngest at the same time and to be honest why the fuck should you do it all while he lies back and relaxes. Where is your share of the holiday.?

Don't go. Insist your DH takes your DS and actually learns how to do some bloody parenting before you have another child to run around after! "Not hands on" just means "lazy arse".

You might struggle to get proper insurance now and you would be absolutely mad to go without.

Yes, your health care will be covered, but what about accommodation if your partner had to stay on? What about medical repatriation? I have experience of medical repatriation in Europe, it was only the length of France but it cost the insurance company an absolute fucking fortune (my DS, his enormous plaster cast and I occupied six seats on a plane, and the ambulance bill ran to well over a thousand euros).

I'd cancel. I can't imagine it being any fun at all. Except for your DH of course, whose position I think is very telling! He really wants to go on a holiday his wife is really not up to? All that tells me is that here's a man who, once you get there, is going to be prioritising HIS fun and if you're groaning in bed - tough shit...

Dh isn't very hands on tbh and usually on holiday he tends to lie down a lot whilst I look after ds.

Aaaand that's the clincher.

Cancel. And if he moans, point out that had he spent the time he's been a parent so far truly sharing the burden, perhaps you'd have more confidence in the trip not being a nightmare for you. As it is, he reaps what he's sown here really.

I could think of nothing worse than going to the heat in the hell that is early pregnancy.

Don't go!

Second the idea of getting dh to go and bring his mum or dad etc.

He sounds really lazy and needs to become much more aware of your health, feelings, anxiety.

We're due a holiday (Turkey) at the end of August. I've just got a positive and I'm really conflicted (3 previous miscarriages/ high risk, potentially won't get to 12 weeks, but that's when we go).
But. It's a holiday for everyone else as well. I'm not sure I can back out.

Can I just add that insurance is a bit of a red herring... As we were going off the beaten track between 14-17 weeks, I did a lot of research into this and based on that dont think any insurers would cover cancellation in this circumstance anyway. Pregnancy itself is not classed as an illness or condition and so almost all policies will only cover for 'complications of pregnancy' eg. HG, pre-eclampsia, GD etc. Obviously you have the T1 but you already know about that. So don't beat yourself up too much about the money!