To take the view that the lazier I am , the better it is.

[AdventureBe]

My mum is one of those people who never stops, always busy doing something. I'd love to be like that but I'm not. My natural inclination is to rest whenever possible My Dad is very careful, financially. Generous, but doesn't ever spend without careful consideration of how to get the best value.

Don't get me wrong, I work hard at work and am a contentious parent, but I can easily watch TV instead of cleaning the bathroom.

My parents consider paying someone else to wash you car, mow your lawn, do your cleaning or ironing, or some decorating the height of laziness and a ridiculous extravagance and I suffer from residual guilt because of this.

However, after following their example for 25 years (since I left home) DH and I are now fairly comfortable. Surely if we contract out some of those jobs, we're doing good for the economy and those we employ.....aren't we?

You're a grown woman in your own home. If you want to do something perfectly usual and legal such as hiring a cleaner, then just crack on.

You don't need to excuse it by saying it's good for the economy.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with paying someone else to do your cleaning / gardening etc if you can afford it.

It frees up your time for things you'd rather do, and can financially benefit the people doing these jobs for you.

Yes Saucy. My point was obviously not well expressed. What I was getting at was that actually my parents' assertion that doing everything yourself is somehow good and virtuous, is actually completely arse about face and it would be "good" if everyone who is able, employs as many people as possible.

Well then, YABU.

I don't honestly think employing a cleaner makes you a worthier person.

I'm also "a contentious parent"

YANBU. If your parents get a great kick out of doing everything themselves - bully for them. Doesn't mean you have to be the same. The best thing about having more money is it gives you more choices in life. The choice not to do the hoovering if you don't want to is a kickass choice, imo.

My parents did everything themselves, I wish could be more like than, however, as they point out, ny working hours are much longer than theirs everywhere and no point in wearing self out.

It was a great moment in my life when I realised you could pay people to do jobs you hated. As a direct result I'm financially nowhere near as comfortable as I should be, and obese. Be very careful - I'm assuming you have good pensions and insurance and all the bells and whistles?

What it also shows is that wage inequality has risen. Time was, people stopped employing cleaners because it was relatively expensive for 'high' earners to do so. It's still not cheap to pay a cleaner a decent amount but compared to a high earner's salary, it's a lot more affordable.

Having said all that - By God, yes, employ someone, why the hell not. Don't look for virtue in it but it's neither a sin nor a crime, provided you're a good employer (by which I don't mean necessarily a complete pushover).

Why all the existential angst? If you want to hire a cleaner then do so. If you'd rather spend the afternoon watching TV than cleaning the bathroom then do so.

its getting a cleaner,not saving the world.

its up to you, not your parents.

The Protestant work ethic has a lot to answer for!

Seriously, OP, it's your life - do what you want. You don't have to go through life pleasing your parents. You're in your 40s now (I would guess) so you're entirely free to do whatever you want.

It IS good to do things yourself - but only if you want to!

If you can afford it, then hire someone. Don't let your parents make you feel guilty, I bet there's loads of things you do that they wouldn't, that you wouldn't think twice about.

I've only just come across this -- I could have been using it for years