to feel a bit cheesed off....

[goshhhhhh]

We are a close family & just been informed that a family member will be getting married abroad in a couple of summers time. They said they reckon it will be about 2k per person - but I reckon more as Sumner hols. I feel a bit cheesed off as I can't justify the cost for 4 of us and I don't really see why I should save up for a wedding or ( have my holiday planned for me (i know I don't have to go), esp as bride said basically the guests are paying for the wedding....my dh has told me to take a chill pill...

If you know you don't have to go, I don't understand the problem?

Close family or not, it's just a wedding. You don't have to attend and you can obviously wish them all the best and even send a gift and card if you want to.

Don't go...

It's still just a invitation, OP, not a subpoena, the same as it would have been if they'd booked a slot at the local registry office and the function room at the pub.

I won't be going but it was expressed as an expectation that people would go as there is time to save. Also we are a close family & this in my mind (which I know automatically makes me unreasonable) would be a family celebration e.g. a welcoming into the family. I suppose I'm disappointed as I would love to be part of the celebration but just can't see how I could justify that kind of expenditure.

Yanbu, at that expense they can't just expect you to attend.

Well, presumably the wedding involves one family member and one person who isn't, and who perhaps has other ideas about his or her wedding? Not everyone sees their marriage as joining someone else's 'close' family - I certainly didn't - so perhaps the family member's husband/wife to be actually wanted a wedding abroad to limit the invasion of the in laws?

Possibly. We certainly don't live in each other's pockets , we just get in very well when we see each other. I just think maybe values are different which is fair enough.

2k per person? Where is it happening, Necker Island??

Can't say where as it will identify me & I suspect they are on here . Will be in school hols which will up the price & my two will be over 12. This would be more than we spent on our entire wedding including honeymoon.

I know it's their choice just sad we won't be part of it. I'll just have to suck it up.