To wish that it was time for my daughter's friends to go home now?!

[Kampeki]

DD is 10, and has two friends over for a sleepover in lieu of a birthday party. They're both lovely girls really, but they're really over-excited and the noise levels are driving me nuts. Plus one of the girls is really high maintenance and a little bit too demanding for my liking...

Also, since when has it been the done thing at sleepovers to just let the kids stay up all night? I'm really relaxed about bedtimes etc, and have no problem letting dd stay up late. I know that they want to have a midnight feast, which is fine, and I get that they won't sleep much. However, I've told them that I do expect them to try to get some sleep later on, as dd struggled for the whole week after the last time she stayed up all night at someone else's house. DD agrees that she would like to get some sleep, but demanding friend thinks I am being utterly unreasonable. Am I?

I used to stay over at friends' houses when I was a kid, and we'd chat and giggle till quite late and then get off to sleep. It's been the same for dd when we've done it before, but the last couple of times, she just hasn't slept at all.

I know some people are saying that iabu to let her have sleepovers at all if I don't want her to stay up, and I respect that point of view, but I don't want to stop her doing the normal childhood stuff. Just don't see why they have to stay awake all night!

Just use my tactic of 'lights out at x oclock, and every time i hear whinges i will bring that forward by 5 minutes. If it gets too whingey, i will remove the fuse out of the fuse box and there will be no power or lights until you guys have gone home. Understood?'

Think how easy it must have been before iPads!

Doreen, I like your style!

Yes ideally you'd have wanted them asleep by 9.30 pm but as we all know. With 10 year olds. That ain't happening. The best advice I can give is just ride it out. I feel your pain though. They can be hard work at that age especially girls.
It'll be morning before you know it.

I hope so, Ilive. I'm feeling sleepy already but no chance of going to bed yet! The time seems to be passing very slowly! :(

Not sure whether I feel glad that I encouraged DH to go out tonight (knew he couldn't stand the noise!) or slightly jealous of him for managing to avoid it!!

I had a sleepover where they were so overexcited about staying up for a midnight feast that they got overtired and became teary and hysterical and kept everyone up all night. Fingers crossed your sleepover will be more successful. After that experience I made DD wait 2 years until her next sleepover.

Now the rules are firm, it's one person at a time, no midnight feasts, lights out when I say so and I choose guests carefully. This idea that kids should be given free reign while you cower in a corner of your own house for a whole night is slightly crazy. I am happy for DD to have friends over and have fun but I just want them to bog off home after a certain point

I have definitely learnt from today's experience, that's for sure!

Don't think I'll have more than one again, if I can help it!

Ooh, I like the fuse idea (notes for future reference...). Firm and mildly educational at the same time!

Are they up yet? Hope you had a good night. There's always one and the one never comes again.

Hope you got some sleep OP! I remember my youngest had a sleepover ages ago with a friend who did not seem to require any sleep! It was a terrible idea as they were too young really (she was 6 at the time). Still wide awake at midnight and up again at 5am like a Duracell bunny. My daughter was almost weeping with tiredness and so was I!!! The next day was a write off and I haven't done it since!
My teenager is much easier! They look after themselves and get told to be quiet if there's too much shrieking!

Thank you quiet. I needed that!

Not sure what time they eventually went off to sleep. I went to bed at around 1am, they were in bed but still chatting. I did get a reasonable amount of sleep, though I was on edge all night and kept waking!

Two of the dc seem to be still asleep now - dd has been awake for a while, but has had the sense not to wake the other two!

I suppose I had better wake them soon so that they can have breakfast before they're collected, but I'm reluctant to shatter the peace...

Constance, my dd is actually like the child you describe - can survive remarkably well on very little sleep. It does eventually catch up with her though! In any case, she has been trained not to keep others awake as I have repeatedly explained that other kids may not cope with sleep deprivation as well as she does.

Precious, demanding child wanted to stay awake all night too, got a bit stroppy when I said that they had to go to sleep. The other kid looked mildly relieved...

How long do you think they need to get ready and eat breakfast?

op I would get them up now if they are leaving at 10 :) they can be slowly waking up while you make breakfast.

I'd wake them. In a minute. ????

Yeah, I'm going to have to get them up now, aren't I? :(

I wouldn't wake them. Explain to parents they haven't had breakfast as they were fast asleep from being up all night an you guesses they (the parents) would rather have them well rested than well fed

Next time you get right down to stroppy madam's face, put yours an inch away from her nose and say in a calm but deadly tone "Trying to be cute whilst being downright rude may have got this far in life but this is my house and there are rules. Be quiet and go to bed nicely or I will call your parents right now and you will never set foot in my house again. Are we quite clear? Good."

I don't tolerate behaviour of that sort in my house, and amongst the group of us that do sleepovers we've come to an honest understanding of what we will tolerate and how we will discipline if necessary.

Me too vvega!

I've only ever actually had to do it once and had been pushed to my absolute limit over about four hours. They went down instantly and my reputation seems to have spread - they all still love coming, I put on a great spread and a very late bedtime, but I never get any stupidly silly behaviour now!

My own dd is almost 4, so I've no experience as a parent. However, I have taken this age group on residential trips for many years. 156 10/11 year old's was my biggest group. They need their sleep. They just do. Lack of sleep could ruin the experience. Therefore, I explain to the kids very early on that they are expected to be considerate of others at sleep time. I list all of the fun stuff they get to do first, but at 11 pm it is lights out. At 11.30 they need to be quiet. I patrol the corridors shush in and usually, they are all asleep by midnight. It helps to have a spare room to move one of them to if they just won't settle. Warn the child who us being a bit of a madam that she will have to sleep in another room if she doesn't go to sleep. I'm shocked that your DD's friends would tell you that yabu. I would never have questioned a friends parent. I've only ever had one parental complaint about 'forcing' my pupils to sleep out of the hundreds (probably thousands actually) of pupils that I have taken away. However, that particular parent was a whole other story. Good luck!

I don't think dd would ever challenge someone else's parents either! At least, I hope not!!

They're being very civilised this morning, actually. No grumpiness!