To ask how you cope with your DCs/parenting being judged?

[Fedupofplaystation]

I am not a natural mother, in fact I find it really hard and think I'm pretty crap at it most of the time.

DC1 was a high maintenance baby, I had bad PND, my family have helped a lot with DC1.

DC1 is now 3 and still highly strung and prone to tantrums. They can lie and manipulate. They have periods of incontinence due to chronic constipation. They are also very intelligent, kind, funny, loving.

DC2 is a much more laid back baby, but has just hit the getting frustrated at being unable to move phase, so squeals a lot.

Dbro, has a 5mo DC who is very laid back, always slept well, hardly ever whinges, just lays there smiling. DSil, has been making a lot of comments to a close family member about how she doesn't want her DS to spend much time with me or another family member who helps with my DCs as she doesn't want her DC ending up like my DC1. I babysit whenever asked.

DSil often attributes how good her DC is to things she's done i.e. he never got colic due to baby massage (I tried that and it didn't work for DC1) etc.

I'm the first to slate my parenting, but I'm finding it really hurtful. How do you all cope with this sort of thing?

I felt like a natural mother when mine were young. I used to feel very smug when visiting my best friend because mine were well behaved and hers were fiends. Now her two late-teen daughters are lovely, well adjusted young women, and my DS1 has had all kinds of problems during his teen years. There are times I feel like I've been an awful parent, though I think we are getting through it now. Motherhood is just tough at different times for different people. Try not to take it to heart.

Your SIL will have to eat her smug words one day! How rude and hurtful of her, especially when she's happy to have you as a babysitter!

I thought I done a good job first time round, DS got into the routines we wanted him to, eat what we wanted him to, slept when we wanted him to.....then he hit terrible twos right when we had DD, who is an entirely different kettle of fish, she's a terror spirited :) so nothing to do with my parenting, DS was just a placid baby. I'm so glad I was never smug about him.

Definitely tell your family member you'd rather not hear stuff like that.