To have judged this woman and told her so?

[RattleAndRoll]

I'll set the scene.

Macdonalds drive though. (I know, I know).

Two places to order at the microphone/speaker place then you filter into one lane to pay at one window & then collect at another.

Car filtering in front of us contains female driver on mobile phone. Child on front seat unrestrained (aged about 3 but not great with ages, child had a dummy still) There was a car seat in back but was empty obviously. Child is hanging out of the open window, mother trying to manoeuvre the car around the bendy lanes and filter in. Still nattering on phone, just kept dragging child away from window if they leant too far out and pushing them into passenger footwell.

She filters into our lane, then keeps rolling backwards seemingly accidentally as she'd then hit the brake hard, still on phone, still trying to keep child from falling out window. She was rolling almost into us so me and DH shouted at her to get off her phone and control her car and restrain the child.
Still on the phone she shouted back to us what's it gotta do with you? Which is true. We just said for god sake sort the kid out and stop breaking all these laws.
She then said its fine she's only using the drive through she's not actually driving. And then she put phone down, shouted at the kid to keep still, drove forward, got her food and then drove out of macdonalds and out of the retail park completely. Child still not restrained.

Now I really try not to judge, I always think they might be really stressed/ I don't know what's going on in their lives etc but in this case no, I am judging. There's no excuse. Child should have been in car seat. If child got them selves out and climbed through the seats and got in front seat, pull over. Or at least use normal seatbelt across their lap to stop them hanging out of window, then pull over and put child in car seat. No need to be on phone either. Just no.

I know it's none of my business, and I could have kept out of it but hopefully next time she thinks about being on the phone in car or not putting the child in a car seat she might remember this situation and might do the right thing and that poor kid might not be killed in a RTC. I hope so anyway.

So AIBU to have judged her and told her so?

A woman once over took me on the motorway doing well over the speed limit, she had a box of salad in one hand and a fork in the other whilst driving with her elbows.

You know it didn't cross my mind to take her number plate and call the police until a couple of hours later. I really need to think quicker.. I will next time.
I can't believe there's more people about like her, I mean BF whilst driving?! I can't believe people risk their own/others lives like this. It's shocking.

I can't believe how anyone could be so careless with their child's safety.
Oh and FHI. (For her information) children's safety is everyone's business.

At a drivethrough you are only creeping along slower than walking speed and it isn't a public highway so she isn't breaking any laws

May if that is true, fine, but she then left the drive through and retail park so driving on roads.

Unrestrained child hanging out of a window whilst mums on the mobile...fairly dangerous.

But I've done both of those things whilst at a drive thru, separately. I've definitely been on the phone (to DH asking what he wanted) and one of my dc has unbelted and climbed into the front to see the menu better (age 7).

Obviously some think they're hanging offences but I personally don't think either was dangerous whilst I was either stationary or crawling forward at 1 mph.

This child was too young to read the menu and I assume a 7yo can sit reasonably still, stay safe etc. She wasn't in control of her car (or child), was very close to hitting us, albeit slowly. But then she drove out of the retail park anyway (I assume you got your 7yo back in their seat and belted yo before you left?) so still had an unrestrained child in passenger seat hanging out of window whilst 'properly' driving. I suppose I could understand a quick 30 second call asking what someone wanted but she'd already ordered at the speaker thing when we saw her on the phone filtering in. She only got off the phone after talking to us but not right away.

My old driving instructor campaigned for stricter penalties for people caught driving while on their mobile - he maintained it was actually more dangerous than drink driving (he had stats but I can neither remember nor cite them).

Green then you're a bit of a pillock really. It's illegal whether going fast or slow.

The law is quite clear

And you could receive penalties for speaking on the phone and having a child unrestrained in the car whilst the engine is running.

Even at low speeds if someone shunted you from behind whilst your child is unrestrained they can receive a significant head or facial injury.

Exactly Sidge The woman could have easily have rolled into the OP's car, if she had to break sharply then obviously she didnt have sufficient control.

Best one ever: van next to me in slow traffic on an urban dual carriageway, bloke with The Sun open over the wheel. This was before mobile phones were everywhere.

When my DC was a small baby we got stuck in standstill traffic on a duel carriageway after a very bad accident. We were there nearly 2 hours in total. It was a boiling hot day in July and after 30mins DD started screaming. So I climbed in the back and took her out for a b'feed. There was stationary traffic as far as I could see in both directions, engines off, people out of cars. But I was really, horribly worried something awful would happen. But I thought a dehydrated 3 month was more likely than someone crashing in to us. The only alternative I could think of was to call 999 and ask for some kind of emergency escort out.

DM Link

Sorry for the Mail link, I'm sure I saw the same graph in another paper originally! Any phone use is worse in terms or reaction time than being at the drink drive limit. (I suppose if you start going much over the limit the delay might come more in line.)

And having a child who's old enough to climb out of the car window, but not old enough to know it's a bad idea seems mad.

Oh, when the woman shunted me, we were stationary but she still gave me a good shunt when she rolled into me. Scared my 2 year old DD and 10 year Dsis.

Sidge and textfan...I can live with that tbh. We all make our own risk assessments and not everyone will agree.

Yabu, you should have called the police, instant she left the retail park having noted down her registration.
How will you ever forgive yourself if you hear of a road traffic collision mother and child dead, child believed to have been unrestrained in the passenger seat?
Have you SEEN what a car crash does to the human body? That poor little child would not have stood a chance.

I've got a supermarket car park one.... Went to sainsburgers and i turned into the lane that was half disabled and opposite was normal. Chap was waiting for disabled bay ( someone was loading) and I couldn't swing into free space so went a bit further down. Lovely big merc was pulling out of disabled and chap winds down window ' Do you want this space love?' -' no thanks' I replied ,' I don't need a disabled space thank you. ' he replied ' niether do I but I don't want to risk getting my car scratched'... You know when you don't have a reply ready ( duck faced , jaw dropped) ... That was me and I muttered idiot to myself and trolley as i did my shopping....So Mr in a blue merc consider yourself judged.....

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xmNYsa6QY9A

"How will you ever forgive yourself if you hear of a road traffic collision mother and child dead"

The only person responsible should this have happened is the irresponsible twat driving with an unrestrained child, not the OP. What a disgusting thing to say to someone.

YANBU.

Someone has to give a shit about the safety of her child.

Textfan, i know you're trying to make a point, but really...I just don't care tbh.

I've never done, and never would do anything unsafe in a car and I'm perfectly happy with past choices I've made.

Go preach at someone else. I have never put my children, or anyone else, at risk whilst driving.