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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

men and their toys/ hobbies , and associated £

37 replies

shirleybasseyslovechild · 26/06/2015 09:50

of course some women do it to but what's with men and their hobbies?

my ex had six road bikes, FIFTEEN pairs of cycling leggings, had parcels delivered every week from wiggle for goodness knows what . no he wasn't a professional cyclist.

Friend's DH just bought his fourth set of golf clubs ( he plays about 5 times a year)

sister's DH just bought his fifth fishing rod and is constantly adding to his collection of over a thousand fishing flies.
I know loads of men who do stuff like this.

Brother has six guitars , which are stored 300 miles away at my parents as he doesn't have room.

my friend's ex has FORTY SIX full sets of golf clubs. I kid you not.

as far as I know they are not going into debt to buy all this stuff , I just don't get why one would continually spend money on things for a hobby when you already had several of those things.

DH has two good quality 6 man tents. One has never been out the packaging. he is currently looking to buy a third and has been buying up all kinds of camping gear. How often has he been camping in the last 4 years ?
Once !

it seems such a waste

any thoughts? is it more of a male thing ?

OP posts:

TheHouseOnBellSt · 26/06/2015 09:54

It's not a "man thing" it's a "man with money thing"

We're low income and my DH has nothing like that. His hobbies have to fit his pocket so he reads and gardens.

WorraLiberty · 26/06/2015 09:55

Buying hobby related things does ime appear to be more male related yes.

But then buying lots of expensive shoes/bags/coats etc, tends to be more female related ime.

Horses for courses really, as long as no-one's getting into huge debt or going without.

LashesandLipstick · 26/06/2015 09:57

My partner does this with trading cards... he doesn't even use them that much, he just collects them. Seems pointless to me!

TheHouseOnBellSt · 26/06/2015 09:57

If I was rich I would buy loads of art stuff...craft things...posh sewing machine AND bags and shoes.

midnightvelvet01 · 26/06/2015 09:59

DP has 6 bikes, some for road, some for cyclocross, some 'best' bikes, some not but he rides for a team. Has winter kit/summer kit, multiples of everything along with inter seasonal wear. Forever needing new wheels, new bits etc. If we buy a new car the prime consideration is, can he fit his bikes in :) if I book a holiday then am I clashing with cyclocross season/team event etc etc

However I have all of the Urban Decay Naked palettes, about another 10 eyeshadow palettes, a special box for all my nail varnish, pots of eyeliners that I don't wear, you could paint the Forth bridge with all my lipsticks & that's before you get to the overflow skincare box in the airing cupboard

LindyHemming · 26/06/2015 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purplemurple1 · 26/06/2015 10:01

I think it depends on the person my OH has a potentially expensive hobby but takes pride in doing it cheaply with lower grade stuff while still doing as well as people spending much more than him.

I'm a similar mindset even though we earn ok and have savings.

MajesticWhine · 26/06/2015 10:07

OMG. What is it all about?
I have taken delivery of about 12 packages this week, all for DH. Mostly Wiggle, ProBikeKit etc. He also buys a lot of second hand books and clothes on ebay. He shops compulsively all the time. I keep telling him it's an addiction, and he just says it's better than being addicted to drugs / gambling /other women.
I told him no more cycling or running gear until he recycles some of the existing stuff, because there is no more space. I never dare mention things I might like because he's straight on the internet buying it for me. I suggested DD could use a new desktop computer, maybe we could think about it for next birthday or Christmas. Within an hour or two, one was ordered. I mentioned on holiday how nice it would be to have a winter wetsuit, I was hustled into a shop. I absentmindedly complained about my laptop last night. Shit, he has probably ordered me a new one.

workingdilemma · 26/06/2015 10:12

If its one hobby that someone is passionate about, that is good for their soul. Let them get on with it.

If its a fad hopper, and the old one accumulates dust - not so good. I know of one person who bought a £1000 bike three years ago, and has used it 4 times.

So thats £250 per ride so far. 2 of those were to get some fags at the newsagent supposedly.

(The exception is renaissance men, for whom learning and exploring everything is actually beneficial and stimulating. If they have deep pockets, why not.)

Merlotmonster · 26/06/2015 11:05

It's not just men.im just as bad!!!oops...my passion is horses and I'm scared to add up how much money goes on feed, shoes,many many rugs, saddles and new tack etc...plus my outfits...oh well...luckily mu husband has a minor bike obsession so he can spend what he likes doing that...

BestZebbie · 26/06/2015 11:15

This is definitely NOT a male-only thing, but the most common female variant is craft materials.

Knitters with yarn, quilters with fabric stash, scrapbookers with papers and stamps - etc etc etc

fredfredgeorgejnr · 26/06/2015 11:18

It's not a male / female thing at all, people, many people choose to spend money on the things they enjoy, and buy more than the minimum needed.

There's nothing wrong with it, unless it cannot be afforded, there is more wrong with characterising hobbies as Male or Female.

lampygirl · 26/06/2015 11:38

Just get the same hobbies as him...

I get as many wiggle boxes delivered as my DP does. He gets computer parts all the time, but I have 6 ice hockey sticks... we dont hold it against each other. We both have 3 pairs of skis, and I have 2 pairs of boots, one in the UK and one in Switzerland, because I dont like the hire ones in the snowdome.

also, the correct number of sporting goods in n+1, where n is how many your other half will let you have.

DoreenLethal · 26/06/2015 11:52

But then buying lots of expensive shoes/bags/coats etc, tends to be more female related ime.
I have chainsaws, axes, knives, secateurs, shredders, hedge trimmers, drills, dremels, about 4 separate toolkits, and my handbag is an old hessian food bag.

Expensive bags/shoes/coats - sod that! I'll have a shiny new chainsaw please.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 26/06/2015 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maninawomansworld · 26/06/2015 13:29

Men may say the same about women and handbags / shoes / hats. You can only use / wear one of each at a time.

MIL has over 200 bags - many with the tags still on, a room full of hats and shoes (many pairs of shoes no longer fit but she won't get rid).
DW also loves a bag and has many, many of the things.
As long as you're not going into debt or going without other things that impact on family life then I don't see the problem.

I have 2 expensive hobbies myself, horses and guns. Currently DW and I have 7 horses between us and I've got about £80k worth of guns in my safe (most of that is value is one particular one worth about £60k - but yes there are quite a few in there).

Why not!

windchime · 26/06/2015 13:35

My DF was really into clay pigeon shooting and he spent loads on it. He used to say that there was a lot of snobbery in the sport, which I imagine is the same with golf and fishing. Players are expected to have quality branded items. He had six, top of the range, shotguns and was always on the lookout for coveted accessories. A rich man's game for sure.

TriJo · 26/06/2015 13:35

Double runner/cyclist household here. Hubby doesn't race any more because he nobbled himself with overtraining 3 years ago and just can't push himself but he still trains with me for fun, but I do triathlons, open water swims and road races. I spend more than he does due to the cost of race entry, triathlon is a batshit insanely expensive sport. We also go to a lot of sporting events - football, rugby, GAA when we're back in Ireland, athletics etc.

Neither of us has particularly expensive tastes in clothes, cars, drink etc though so we choose to spend our money on what we enjoy.

AlpacaPicnic · 26/06/2015 13:37

Midnightvelvet... can I come over to yours for a makeover? A proper slumber party makeover with facepacks and cocktails and manicures and stuff?

MajesticWhine - I would start casually dropping into conversation about cruises, or the holiday of your choice... then there is new luggage... and new outfits...

BadLad · 26/06/2015 13:38

I spend quite a bit on my hobbies. One of the many reasons I didn't want kids is so that I could.

SocksRock · 26/06/2015 13:45

Other way round here I'm afraid... DH's hobbies are cricket (still wearing same whites from 10 years ago), annual membership is £35 and £8 match fee. He then also plays cribbage for a team, which is about a fiver a week. The yarn and fabric stash on the other hand...

ppeatfruit · 26/06/2015 13:48

It's too easy with the internet, dh is always having films delivered, usually ones he recorded or owns anyway. Yes I think it's a bit of an obsession with him, he just loves spending money,we can afford it but I'd prefer to spend it on a top end aga type range for our new kitchen.

maninawomansworld · 26/06/2015 13:50

BadLad I hear you.... but it doesn't HAVE to be like that.

I have 2 year old twins now and my hobbies haven't changed.

You see what many people don't realise is that you don't NEED all these expensive gadgets and associated tat that the magazines and shops try to guilt you into buying. A small child doesn't NEED to be clothed head to toe in designer labels and as they get older they don't NEED smartphones / Ipads / games consoles / fancy trainers coming out of their ears.

Don't get me wrong, you've got to look after them properly and can't deprive them of everything like a total selfish arse but most kids are totally fucking spoilt. It results skint parents who are fed up at never doing anything for themselves and entitled little brats. It's just a question of balance.

ShortandSweeter · 26/06/2015 13:53

My hobby earns money, so maybe that redresses the balance somewhat. I'm a husband by the way.

woolythoughts · 26/06/2015 14:18

I have six full sets of circular detachable needles, Lord knows how many sets of straights, DPN's, and a whole cupboard full of yarn that I think would take me more than a year to knit up - but I still I buy more

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