Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


To think that if you want a specific answer, you need to ask the right question...

13 replies

LittleMiss77 · 24/06/2015 21:51

OH (reading through shopping list): "What is 'chicken in sauce' for?"
Me: Dinner
OH: Hmm ... Thats not what i meant...
Me: What did you mean?
OH: What night are we having it for dinner?
Me: OK, but that's not what you asked me...
OH: Ffs, i know you're heavily pregnant but there's no need to be like that...

By way of background, he has form for this type of questioning (apparently "What are you doing?" can mean a variety of things including "i'm going to the pub, would you like to come?") and tonight i am in a bit of a grump, but after 12 years i'm getting tired of having to second guess exactly what he's asking me...

Are all men like this?

OP posts:

cornflakegirl · 24/06/2015 22:00

I think you were being deliberately obtuse!


ImprobableBee · 24/06/2015 22:47

YANBU. The question your DP asked reminds me of the activities in secondary school where you must write a set of instructions, and imagine that they are intended for an alien with zero knowledge of any references people assume are universally understood.

FWIW, I'd probably have said something like, "You're supposed to put it in your mouth, dear." also pregnant and prone to being short, but stupid questions are still stupid questions


ImprobableBee · 24/06/2015 22:51

Having said that, my DP asks a lot of nonsense like this. I try to be kind about it as I know he can get a bit frustrated with himself for not communicating what he wants to or is trying to, which can lead to little outbursts like this.


DoreenLethal · 24/06/2015 22:57

Not Sure how you get from 'what is it for' to 'what night are we having it'...two completely different questions. YANBU.


DoJo · 24/06/2015 23:07

I don't think it's massively unreasonable to assume that someone will know that a food item is for eating and work out that they mean something more specific, but if your husband has form for asking questions which give no clue as to the nature of the answer he's after then I can definitely understand the urge to provide annoyingly simple answers.


BackforGood · 24/06/2015 23:26

I think you are being obtuse too.

Obviously he knows it's for a meal - I would presume the question is related to some other query therefore... might mean 'is this for a special occasion' or 'is this ti 'have in' as a store cupboard or is this for you to take to work..... answers will then affect things like portion size / if a frozen one makes sense / if it needs to be a long date, etc.

Bit ridiculous to be being that pedantic with your oh


MoonlightandMusic · 24/06/2015 23:27

If he'd said " when is the chicken in sauce for?" I would have had to say YABU, but as he's used "What..." then your response was perfectly logical/correct.

Maybe buy him a grammar book? Wink



Momagain1 · 24/06/2015 23:34

You were not being obtuse, if he wanted to know when it was going to be served, that is the question he should have asked.


missingmumxox · 24/06/2015 23:44

I agree you are being obtuse too, my Dh would say I am buying chicken in a sauce, I want to know what the fuck it is, is it spicy, BBQ, cream, and also when you intend to serve it?

pregnancy does not forgive all sins,


MrsHenryMountbattenWindsor · 24/06/2015 23:45

Are all men like this? yes.

With you all the way OP.


TheSkiingGardener · 25/06/2015 04:20

YANBU. He asked, you answered. If he wants to know a piece of information he has to use words which request that piece of information.

DH doesn't do that fortunately so it's not all men. He does randomly expostulate though and then wait for me to ask what he means. It really would be quicker if he actually said what he wanted to say in the first place. I just ignore it now and leave him hanging.


GrumpleMe · 25/06/2015 04:28

Did you genuinely think he might not know 'chicken in sauce' was for a dinner?

If so - YANBU with your response...but that would mean you think he's a bit thick?


Timetodrive · 25/06/2015 06:46

I think your answers are very short, as in "dinner" one word. If my DC answered with one word answers, I would remind them of the art of conversation. But otherwise my DP can be very vague and can ask a random question belonging to a subject that was mentioned hours ago but with no hint of this subject.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?