To be getting really frustrated with DP?

[bored1602]

We've recently moved into a new flat and an unexpected change in circumstances means that we're struggling financially in the short term. To save money I've been super careful with the shopping budget, buying exactly what we need, being careful with waste and leftovers and planning meals for the week (with DP's input, of course)

I asked DP to do the shop with me before I went to work (with my ridiculously detailed shopping list) and he said he'd rather hang on until tomorrow, which was fine. Instead, he let me know while I was as work that he'd done it himself - lovely!!

When I got home I realised he's totally ignored the carefully planned out list in favour of wondering around the shop aimlessly throwing things into the trolley. We've ended up with no bread, milk or cereal. We have mince but nothing I could conceivably cook with it, we have chicken but nothing to make it a meal. Absolutely nothing for both of our packed lunches. This isn't the first time he's done this, but it's the first time since we've had a bit less money floating about at the end of the month.

Now I'm stuck either a) freezing half the stuff he bought and spending my last free tenner this week on turning the other half into decent meals. or b) eating horrible combinations of stuff for the rest of the week so he understands why his shopping method just won't work!!

He seems to think he's done me a massive favour by doing the shopping - but as far as I'm concerned I still have to do the shopping, except now on an extremely limited budget!!

Am I being controlling and patronising? Or am I justified in being so frustrated?

You're on a limited budget so I can see your point. We are too and consequently plan our food shop at the beginning of the week, when we also plan the meals for the week - so we only buy what we need for meals. It means much less waste than we used to have.

That attitude drives me mental, my DH is the exact same - thinks he's doing me a personal favour by doing the shopping, as if he doesn't need food! And he'll spend $200 on all manner of crap then we've nothing to put in a sandwich. If you can grin and bear it just eat weird concoctions for the week.

For those asking what we had for dinner, after 20 minutes rooting through the cupboards he finally asked for help. Ended up making a bland but perfectly edible spag bol with some tinned tomatoes, a rogue onion from the back of the cupboard and the ends of two bags of different shaped pastas.

Then we sat down together and made a list of the bare minimum we could get away with to turn the rest into a decent week's shopping and I sent DP off to the shop - and of course he followed it to the letter.

Fingers crossed he's finally started to understand my frustration. He's kindly agreed to come shopping with me on his day off for the next few weeks so he can figure it out before I dare let him go rogue with it again.

Pro tip, from someone who shops off of someone else's list - if you want something specific DO NOT write 'juice' or 'washing liquid', then complain about what comes back - it's a good way to cause a withdrawal of labour in this area...

Could you go online, make the list there then print it off so that it is uber clear? Right down to the brand?

Jdee41 and reredos1 Honestly, brands and sizes and what not really don't bother me in the slightest, it's missing out bread and milk and coming back with random crap we don't even need which drives me mad!! I honestly don't care in the slightest whether it's Hovis or Warburtons or value bread, I just want bread!!