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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with my DP

24 replies

Stinkylinky · 22/06/2015 23:03

I am spending another night on the sofa. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and suffering with a trapped nerve in my neck. DP keeps waking me up after I've been asleep for 10 mins in bed because my snoring (only snored since being pregnant) is keeping him awake and he has work in the morning.

AIBU in thinking that he should perhaps let me get some rest in bed and he sleep on the sofa or set up the air bed in the spare room?

FYI he has been brilliant and selfless for the rest of my pregnancy so he's not a complete arse.

OP posts:

CrystalHaze · 22/06/2015 23:05

Have you suggested to him that he be the one to sleep elsewhere?

Athenaviolet · 22/06/2015 23:07

Omg you should so be getting the bed! [shocked]

Original poster

Stinkylinky · 22/06/2015 23:08

I'll bring it up with him tomorrow when we aren't in bed and tired as it just seems to cause an argument

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 22/06/2015 23:09

you are wrong

he is a complete arse

if my son behaved like that towards his heavily pregnant partner, I would wonder what the fuck I did wrong during his upbringing

shameful man

PuntasticUsername · 22/06/2015 23:10

Jesus, what a dick!

He has about two weeks, give or take, to shape the fuck up in time for when you both have a brand new baby to look after...

AcrossthePond55 · 22/06/2015 23:15

Since you're pregnant, I think he's being inconsiderate to wake you. In normal circumstances I think the snorer should vacate the marital bed, but these aren't normal circumstances. I'd feel the same way if it was a man recovering from major surgery and his wife was kicking him out for snoring.

Is there a reason he won't either sleep on the sofa or in the spare room? And "Because I have to get up to go to work" isn't a good reason.

Cumbrae · 22/06/2015 23:17

The person who is building a whole human being gets the bed.

Ask him politely to go into work and ask all his friends and colleagues who should get the bed - him or his heavily pregnant wife. No one will say him.

Original poster

Stinkylinky · 22/06/2015 23:19

It's the waking me up that annoys me, it's like having a power nap then being wide awake unable to get back to sleep.

He suffers with a bad back due to the nature of his work so think he will throw that out there as an excuse when I ask him about it.

OP posts:

PoppyField · 22/06/2015 23:21

I second the idea of conducting an 'office poll'. Suggest that to him. Perfectly reasonable.

HoneyDragon · 22/06/2015 23:22

What are his plans for a crying baby through the night. Give it a poke and hope it takes the hint?

SnapesCapes · 22/06/2015 23:23

Floors are supposed to be very beneficial for bad backs in bellend men, you know.

He's outrageously wrong here, no question. Tell him so, and let it be known that if he wakes you in the night again whilst you're pregnant that unless he's on fire he'll have hell to pay. It's an international law that you don't upset pregnant women in any way!

Original poster

Stinkylinky · 22/06/2015 23:26

I've told him that I will do most of the night feeds during the week as he has to get up for work and drive a fair distance but he will be pulling his weight at the weekends.

I won't stand for him taking the piss, don't worry about that!

The air bed is coming out of the shed and will be all made up ready for him tomorrow night whilst I enjoy my nice new bedding that was delivered today

OP posts:

Fatmomma99 · 22/06/2015 23:30

Sleep became more precious than gold in my house for far too many years after my early riser was born.

We used to have these ridiculous competitions about who was the most tired (think northern accent "Luxury") and the kindest, most generous act we could give each other, topping unlimited oral sex by about a million points was to give the other one a lie in.

AnyFucker · 22/06/2015 23:36

you won't stand for him taking the piss ?

is that why you are on the sofa and he is starfishing in the bed ?

Original poster

Stinkylinky · 22/06/2015 23:50

I didn't really fancy getting in to it all with him earlier to be honest anyfucker (delightful username btw)

I'll go back up to bed once I'm tired and if he doesn't like it, he knows where he can go.

OP posts:

PuntasticUsername · 22/06/2015 23:52

Good plan, but I'd let him make his own bloody airbed up, myself. You're 38 weeks gone, you don't need to be arsing around on the floor wrestling with fitted sheets when he's the one who needs them in the first place.

I mean, I'd get the sheets out of the airing cupboard for him, of course. Probably. I'm not a monster.

textfan · 22/06/2015 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Stinkylinky · 22/06/2015 23:54

Puntastic, there will be no faffing with fitted sheets from me! A blanket and a pillow will do him if he's lucky

OP posts:

maras2 · 23/06/2015 01:32

What a pig.When I was having our babies 35 plus years ago my DH would've done anything for my comfort.He ,very occasionally slept on the settee when necessary but would never have expected me to.

HelenF350 · 23/06/2015 02:45

I have been snoring for the past few weeks due to pregnancy. Although DP has been moaning but if he would not dream of kicking me out of the bed and even if he did he'd be told where to go! Kick him onto the sofa if he's that bothered, you certainly shouldn't be sleeping there!

Topseyt · 23/06/2015 02:46

He is in for a rude awakening when a hungry, crying baby is added to the mix.

Don't go and sleep on the sofa for him again, unless you are more comfortable there.

Airbed for him.

Icimoi · 23/06/2015 07:46

A lot of snorers only snore during the brief phase when they're falling asleep and stop when they're deeply asleep. If you're DH would leave you alone, or maybe nudge you into a different position, you'd probably both be better off.

MrsNextDoor · 23/06/2015 07:49

If you can possibly buy a bed for the spare room, do it now. Once the baby arrives you will need that option. YANBU by the way.

bittapitta · 23/06/2015 07:51

Every woman snores in late pregnancy. He really should be sleeping elsewhere himself, what an arse. Fwiw I'm in early pregnancy and hating it and DH is practically waiting on me hand and foot (unasked!) because he can see how much it gets me down. Waking you up is absolutely unreasonable. Horrid.

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