To think I can't win with this friend

[Lovewearingjeans]

I have a friend who is becoming increasingly possessive over me. The latest thing is that my parents have offered to have my dc for us while we go away for four nights (v. Lucky, I know). Anyway, the four nights happen to coincide with said friend's wedding anniversary. She asked me when we were away on FB, I told her the dates, and she responded with the anniversary comment. She has previous for this by becoming jealous when I go out with other friends, but her behaviour is driving me away.

Not only go I not understand what did or did not happen, I dont understand in what way you cant 'win' with her? Surely not being able to win with someone is when you do exactly what they asked/expected but they still weren't happy.

So unless she said 'please don't be around on my anniversary', followed by 'What? Why are you going away on my anniversary!', I don't see in what way you can't 'win' with her.

But I've maybe fallen down some sort of rabbit-hole here anyway. Curiouser and curiouser ...

I'm so confused.

What's going on here? I'm confooooosed.

Had chat about the possessiveness. Anyway thanks for all comments.

But I don't see - and I'm clearly not alone! - how she manifested any 'possessiveness' about you being away on her wedding anniversary. Did she actually complain about your plans and say she had expected you to celebrate with her again this year?

Celebrating anyone else's wedding anniversary is really odd, assuming it's not some big party for a fiftieth or something, though, anyway...

This was an odd thread. Feels like listening to a conversation through heavy ear mufflers or overhearing a chat on a busy train....

Hi FarFromAnyRoad

I'm out. The OP clearly wants to either re-enact Sharon and the wasp or T-rex or whatever but it's not really working. OP, as I said, you don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be but this is now ridiculous.

I agree mrs Gently.

This is a bit of a non-thread

You are all so kind.

I have spoken to her she was expecting us to be around for her anniversary, and also her daughters birthday, of which invites have not been issued. I am not re enacting anything as I have never heard of those things! If I go out or make plans with other people including going away for holidays she is jealous and asks me what I am doing. This includes going to a clothes swap party while she was away. She sees us as family, as she doesn't get on with hers who all live locally, however, I don't invite her to my family things, as I think it's weird too. The whole assuming we were going to be doing something on her anniversary is only a build up of these things. I talked to family members and mutual friends because it is hard work and not much fun. Another, really boring example, was that I got my guinea pigs claws clipped and she sent me a message saying, 'why didn't you go where I take mine'. Yes it's a bit Single White Female. Yes this might be a nothing thread. But I don't think I am BU when I think I don't have to check my diary with her to book a hol!

OK, why couldn't you just explain that in your op? If she (oddly) expects you to spend her anniversary with her and her partner, I think she's being unreasonable. You have to be firm with her though 'friend, you are expecting far too much in terms of what I can make myself available for. If I'm free, I'd love to come to any pre-invited event. When I'm not free, it's just life. I will not be guilt tripped, I will not put my life on hold waiting for one if your life events'. If she cannot be reasoned with, I don't think there's much hope for your friendship.

Thank you.

and talking to her family about it?

YABVU and nutty

Had you said (any of ) that in your other posts it would have helped.

I would just keep it matter of fact and breezy and if she wants to take the huff that's her problem, leave her to it.