to ask how you keep it together?

[Margaritte]

I mean around the house, and with DC routines.

I just cant seem to manage it all . My house is not dirty, although it is constantly messy. Always seems to be things in the wrong room, or piles of stuff. I tried the Flylady, although I never seemed to be getting anywhere. I try to keep to her morning routine, though again its cleaning, so the rooms still seem chaotic to me.

I also have bags of items to sell hanging of most door handles at the moment. The washing I can never seem to get a grip on, although I do 1 or 2 loads a night (cheaper electric) Inside of cupboards are chaos (wardrobe / kitchen / bathroom / airing) I know that people cant see it, I do though.

I'm trying to get to grips with my finances at the moment - that I do seem to have under control - it's just taking up a large amount of my time at the moment (complete overhaul) and so I don't have much time between that & the DC.

In regards to them (DC) I need to get a grip on that too. Two are at school, and I have a toddler (SAHM) I cant seem to get into a routine with them. They have dinner and go to bed roughly the same time each night, and get up and eat breakfast the same time too. Its all the bits in between; homework / reading / bathing or washing / getting out the door etc. DC3's afternoon naps are hard too, normally sleeps 2 hours, and I need to be out the door by 2.55pm for school run (v. close by) Not sure how to fit around this.

I feel constantly guilty. If I'm doing housework, I feel I should be playing with DC (mainly toddler, as others at school) If I do something with the DC, I feel bad that I'm just letting clutter build around us. And so it goes round, and I never feel as though I'm giving either 100%.

Any advice, or anyone that manages this?
So as I'm not drip feeding, I am recovering from PND too. I feel ok most days now, though this doesn't help sometimes. I seem to get exhausted most afternoons (around 4pm) Not sure if that has anything to do with that though.

I had a look at Marie Kondo. This morning I have sorted clothes out into piles of who they belong to in the lounge, and am half way through my pile (Have not pulled DH's clothes out though - he can do those later with me perhaps, if he wants to )

I will post to update later, though could someone please point me to the threads for her please?

Good Luck with the nap times Margaritte,I hope it works for you

Well done on what you've got done.

You asked about people's schedules.

Mine this is for School days.

I get up at 7 a.m so does DH.
I sort our bed out.
Let the 3 Dogs out and the Cat(depending on where it was)In or Out.
Do the 3 dogs bowls(food and water) and the Cats bowls.
Stick the washing on.
DH is upstairs waking the 4 youngest DC up.
I stick the kettle on,pop to the toilet.
Wake oldest DS19 up for Work.
4 youngest DC come downstairs and usually rag me for a good few mins.
DH gets they're breakfast orders and makes they're breakfast.
I call oldest DS again for work
I sit down with the kids again,stick on the tv for them and take my meds.
DH brings in they're breakfasts and drinks.
Oldest gets up,gets himself some breakfast.
DH makes us both a cuppa and sits down for about 10 minutes.
I make sure the children go and brush they're teeth,have a wash and get dressed.
DH makes 2 of the DC packed lunches,the rest have school dinners.
I do our 2 girls hair and make sure everyone has everything they need.
Speak to oldest DS and wave him off to work.
DH gets dressed and washed whilst I'm doing those last 2 bits.
DH leaves the house just before 8 a.m with youngest 4DC for school.
I stick on another load of washing.
Wash up from breakfast.
Clean the kitchen(sides,cupboard fronts,cooker top,inside and outside microwave and fridge,dry up,put washing up away,sweep,wash and dry the floor,bleach the sink and drainer side off)I do this every morning.
Empty the kitchen bin,and stick out the recycling(if needed)clean inside and outside bin.

Every other morning I clean all the bathroom out after I've done the kitchen.Empty and wipe the bathroom bin every morning and clean the Mirrors in the frontroom and bathroom every morning.

Stick both loads of washing out on the line(or if raining)in the dryer.
Stick last load of washing on.

Then I get washed and dressed.

It's a bit different for us,than a lot of households as I'm disabled so can't do the school run and I have to have a carer(my DH) now.

DH gets back by just gone 9 and does the hoovering,whole of the house,dusts all down stairs and dusts upstairs every other day.
Then he feeds the 3 Rabbits and the 2 Hamsters.
One of us picks up after the Dogs,that gets checked 3 x a day.

That's usually all done by 10.30.

The Hamsters and Rabbits all get cleaned out 3 times a week.

You sound very organised ohtheholidays. In fact, you all do. I really am trying to get sorted with this.

I'm in the process of learning to live on a skint budget (no choice) and if I can get on top of both this and the house, I would feel great

Then I just have to get the meal planning sorted. I have a recipe thread, although I just cant get a grip on planning.

Kondo threads - this isn't the current one (it will be on page one of the good housekeeping section) but it has the links you'll need
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/2302539-Kondoing-away-the-chaos-Kondo-thread-7-for-yet-more-life-changing-magic

Margaritte,believe me before children I was the most disorganized person possible.I've changed so much since I've had children.Running joke in our family was that I'd be the one that was late for my own funeral(Thanks Dad)

Have you got a link to your other thread,I've got our shopping per month down to £300 for the 7 of us and all the pets.

If I can help at all I'm happy to

Hi Margaritte. I totally sympathise - it does get on top of you and I've never had PND and only have two DCs. Things that have made a difference to me are:

1. Decluttering ruthlessly - we've chucked toys, clothes, books, furniture, kitchen stuff, bedclothes, towels. I couldn't tell you what any of it was now, but it's much much easier to tidy now and everything has a place that it belongs when put away. It's really been an amazing change. If you don't need to sell, and can afford to give stuff to charity / freecycle etc. I would do that so it's out of the house quicker. With particular areas I decluttered a whole drawer or cupboard about once a week, chuck everything we didn't need, organise etc.

1. Setting limits - as someone else suggested, if I have admin stuff to do I make a list and I choose two things a day. Once they're done I don't try to do any more, that's it for the day and if there's a spare moment I can use that to sit and stare into space or read or do something for myself.

1. Getting a cleaner - we are lucky that we can do this - she comes two hours a week and costs £20 and it is a life changing thing. DH was hopeless with cleaning and I couldn't manage it all myself.

I also try to see my time at home as being to look after DD2. I put a wash on every day and try to tidy and wash up dishes by the end of the afternoon. As far as I'm concerned the rest should be shared (or outsourced, in the case of cleaning). I read a laundry system on the internet which is that you do a different person's laundry each day. So I do sheets one day (we are grotty and I only change every two or three weeks), towels one day (changed once a week), DD1 and my clothes two days, DD2 and DH's clothes two days and whites one day. I have days I don't manage, but on the whole it works, it's quicker to put away, and it means I get to the bottom of the basket instead of just skimming stuff off the top.

Our routine is:
7am - I get up with the toddler, eat, wash etc.
7.45 - I get DD1 up
8.40ish - leave house for school
morning we go to a playgroup etc.
12 - lunch
12.30 / 1 - nap
I wake DD2 up before 3 (she's dropping the nap so often earlier)
3 - school run
after school we have a snack and do homework at least one day a week (she's only yr 2 so not much)
playing
TV while I cook tea
Eat at 5.30/6
Bath (both together, maybe not possible with three)
Bed for the toddler, DD1 gets her uniform ready for the next day, tidies her room (in theory) and gets to play in her room until 8 and then I read her a story and she goes to bed.

It's not infallible, but it works OK.

God, this sounds organised, doesn't it? I thought I was just muddling along!

Good for you sorting the money stuff out. You should think of that as an Actual Thing, you know - it takes a long time and it's very much worth it.

In terms of feeling OK, I try to think about what I've done in the day and be really honest about every tiny thing. You'll have achieved loads even before anyone's at school - calmed people, found things, made food, stopped yourself from losing your temper, listened, got everyone out of the house, wiped noses, made sure everyone has everything. Think of all the stuff you do every single day, and try to forget the things you haven't managed to squeeze in. I also find it helpful to recognise when something's complete, rather than just go on to the next thing. So even on fraught mornings when I've nagged DD1 to get to school before the gate's closed it's nice to think 'right, school run done, everything's OK, I did that.' for a moment before we set off again.

What an essay - hope there's something useful in there. Struck a chord!

The KonMari threads have helped a lot. I though I'd cleared out enough clothes etc, yet found 2 more bin bags of them (mainly mine & DS1) and they will be going to the cash for clothes centre.

All clothes (DH hasn't done his yet) have been put away using her method now, and its lovely to see

Will try some of these routines...

My little too is in response to your lunchtime. Scrap the film or toys at lunch- just give it to her and sit with her. It will be quicker and get her into bed sooner and then you can have sit down and then get on with a few bits beofee school run.

Do you got out anywhere in the mornings?

Your state of home will be vastly improved now you've found kondo!

Well done Magaritte,how's LO's nap time going,have you tried moving it forward yet?

Yes, I try to get out every morning. Normally just for a walk somewhere.

I tried the nap, though not sure how well its working.

Still trying to get it together.

Margaritte, I don't know if this will help you, but I mutter to myself fairly often throughout the day, that I am not running the UN. I am not, thank God, making life or death decisions, I am merely sorting out the laundry basket. That is all I am doing. This is not to underestimate the pain in the arse that running a house is, but more to reassure that it is honestly not the end of the world if it is beans on toast for tea and everybody has odd socks.

I adopt what i refer to as "the Nike Principle" - Just do It

To do lists have their place but i think people use them as a procrastination/work avoidance tool. Certainly in my office people spend hours reorganising their priorities and outlook calendars, to the extent where i think it takes more time than just doing the piece of work. I find this equally applicable at home

Adopting the Nike principle, if i see something that needs doing i do it. If it needs to go on a to do list i ask myself "is there any reason i can't just do it now". So this morning i saw about 5 jobs that needed doing, prior to Nike i would have added them to an enormous list. I "just did it" and now the jobs are done.

Both PP make complete sense, I will be doing these. I started with 'The Nike Principle' this morning, and have completed a complete load, and is all put away. I have washed everything up, changed my bed, hovered & mopped.

I will also use the beans on toast idea That will help in so many way.

Good stuff :)

I niked all afternoon at work and chewed my way through a great pile of stuff :)