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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About my husband this morning?

57 replies

WanderWomble · 21/06/2015 11:53

For the first time in a long while, I had a morning where I could have a sleep in. Hubby was going off to play golf with his friends and my daughter was at a friend's.

Hubby got up at 6:30 to shower and get ready. (It's a couple of hours drive to the golf course they wanted to use and they were going for breakfast first.) He then stomped about the bedroom, yanked the (blackout) curtains open and generally made as much noise as he could. When I pointed out that he was being an arse, he said 'you're normally up by now anyway!' He'd disturbed me so much that even after he left the room I was wide awake and couldn't nod off again.

AIBU to be annoyed with him? The whole point of having a nice snooze was because I do generally get up early every day!

OP posts:
Original poster
WanderWomble · 21/06/2015 12:55

I'm still gobsmacked by the thought I should have slept somewhere else!

He's not selfish so much as totally bloody oblivious!

OP posts:
nequidnimis · 21/06/2015 12:57

Sometimes, when we're trying to sleep but get disturbed, we can magnify noises and attach motives to actions that weren't really there.

What I mean is - if you spoke to him, he might say that he WAS trying to be quiet, or that he opened the curtains because he couldn't see two matching socks in the dark, or he felt bad about closing a drawer a bit hard because he was rushing.

If he's usually lovely, and wasn't actually doing it for some unfathomably malicious reason, then let it go, you still had the morning to relax, have a leisurely bath or whatever.

Original poster
WanderWomble · 21/06/2015 13:12

nequidnimis, I've had a nice relaxed day. I might even sneak a nap before I get ready to go out. :)

He is quite noisy generally, and I think he doesn't realise sometimes how disruptive that can be!

OP posts:
Iggi999 · 21/06/2015 13:16

When I get up earlier than dh, I organise all my clothes etc the night before - or look for things with the aid of a phone light, not opening the curtains!

PurpleSwift · 21/06/2015 13:37

Really? She's supposed to have arranged a surprise for him at 6:30am when LO isn't even there and they've made arrangements for later that day? Hmm

thebear1 · 21/06/2015 13:48

Your dh was being unreasonable to open the curtains. Why should op sleep elsewhere? In my house all bedrooms are occupied and a night on the sofa would mean even less of a lie in.

DustWitch · 21/06/2015 17:52

YANBU op. This is the sort of thing my DH would do when he's got the hump. Was he annoyed that you had the chance to have a lie in? It seems like very passive aggressive behaviour imo.

BabyGanoush · 21/06/2015 18:19

Can't believe the people who said she should have gotten up at 6 to make him coffee!

DC not even there. he is not her father, but her husband

Ffs

BabyGanoush · 21/06/2015 18:20

He was being an inconsiderate arse

Pagwatch · 21/06/2015 18:25

I get up at 5 with dd to take her swimming two days a week.
We get ready as quietly as possible. He doesn't have to sleep somewhere else and it does not take a massive amount of empathy for us both to try and minimise noise. It's hardly rocket science.

I would have been irritated.

Meow75 · 21/06/2015 18:28

Presumably golf is his choice of hobby and as such has undertaken freely the option of attending today. Given where they have decided to play, he needs to be up early.

That does not give him the right therefore (or any other occasion) to be pissed that you can have a lie in and he "can't".

I think his actions this morning were passive aggressive - if I'm up, you're up sorta thing and it stinks.

HolgerDanske · 21/06/2015 18:32

Next time he wants to play golf tell him he forfeited it by ruining your lie in and being such a selfish idiot. Seriously he can stay home and you can have a day out. Ridiculous behaviour. And nobody decent needs to be told that it's kind and considerate to let your OH sleep on a day when they are finally able to do so. Stop giving selfish men an out by perpetuating that crap.

AntiHop · 21/06/2015 19:09

Yanbu. He was being very selfish and inconsiderate.

midlifehope · 21/06/2015 19:23

Yanbu it was very mean of him. How has he rationalised it to you?

midlifehope · 21/06/2015 19:26

My partner has many failings, but we are very sensitive about each other's sleep. Whether catnaps in the day, or in the morning. Yadnbu

Postchildrenpregranny · 21/06/2015 19:31

If my DH goes to to the loo in the middle of the night he bounces back into bed and invariably wakes me .I cannot get him to just slide back in quietly as I do .I'm sure it's not deliberate .He can also go back to sleep and have a lie in even if I get up,use en suite ,get dressed, dry hair and do make up (having opened the curtains).Unless you really think he was arsed I'd give him the benefit of the doubt .They are a different species .

butterfly133 · 21/06/2015 19:53

ugh, horrible behaviour - YANBU

I also wonder if that was deliberate. If it wasn't, then a chat on consideration is in order anyway.

Purplepoodle · 21/06/2015 20:05

He would have got shouted at (not great in the mornings) and given and earful. Then would have pulled duvet over my head

Nanny0gg · 22/06/2015 00:08

They are a different species.

Bollocks.

My DH has got up very early for years. He puts his clothes in another room and can get out of bed and go to the bathroom to get showered and ready very, very quietly.

It's not impossible.

BackforGood · 22/06/2015 00:22

Of course YANBU.

Whichever of dh and I are going out earlier, put our clothes ready the night before in the bathroom and get dressed in there if the other doesn't need to be up at that time. He's very selfish - at at best, thoughtless.

spillyobeans · 22/06/2015 00:24

Bit shit of him.

whois · 22/06/2015 08:43

or that he opened the curtains because he couldn't see two matching socks in the dark

That's a shit reason to open the curtains.

You can use the light on your phone to find matching socks in your sock drawer. No need to open the curtains or turn on the overhead light.

Pagwatch · 22/06/2015 08:45

They really are not a different species.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 22/06/2015 08:49

YANBU.

Jengnr · 22/06/2015 08:52

Nobody will die if his socks don't match. But someone might as a result of lie in sabotage.

He's totally out of order OP.

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