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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed

22 replies

Luxme · 20/06/2015 23:04

That my DH has to buy a specifically coloured suit to be an usher at his friend's wedding at a cost of £200. They will provide the tie apparently.

AIBU to say if they want a specific colour suit then they should be paying for it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Luxme · 20/06/2015 23:04

When my DH mentioned to the groom that he doesn't have a suit of this colour the groom said "Oh...well you'll be ok buying one won't you?"

OP posts:
Golfhotelromeofoxtrot · 20/06/2015 23:07

How unusual is the colour? Grey/black is fine, brown/navy/blue/white not fine.

MrsBobDylan · 20/06/2015 23:09

What colour is it I'm nosey. Seems mad to me. Can he just hire one?

momtothree · 20/06/2015 23:10

Normally they hire them? I wouldnt be happy either!

scarletforya · 20/06/2015 23:11

Yanbu

It needs to be explained to the groom that providing the suits is his responsibility.

VelvetRose · 20/06/2015 23:12

I don't know really. Oddly I've never considered how the menfolk at a wedding organise their clothing! I suppose I'd have thought the groom would pay for their suit hire.

Melonfool · 20/06/2015 23:16

I think the vast majority of requests of people at weddings are unreasonable (friend insisted I wear a hat - I wear glasses, hats don't suit me. dp has just spent hundreds of pounds going on a bloody stag weekend.....hundreds of pounds we could have spent doing something nice together). So, to me, YANBU to question it. Can dp 'step down' as usher, it would that be going too far?
I'd ask them to pay for it if it was something I could neither hire cheaply nor wear again (nor sell on I guess).

Original poster
Luxme · 20/06/2015 23:25

DH has spent £600 on his stag do as well :-( thats on top of the £100 train fare, the £300 on hotel as well as its in an expensive city.

Our wedding we hired the suits for the men as we wanted a specific colour. Every other wedding we have been involved with have done the same with the exception of one where they were told to wear what they like.

The colour is blue but DH doesn't wear suits at work or at all unless he really has to so we have to buy him one.

OP posts:
OwlsEscapade · 20/06/2015 23:30

YANBU. How presumptious and rude of the groom.

However your DH was a bit daft if he didn't pipe up when the groom asked if he would be ok buying one. If they are good enough friends for your DH to be an usher then surely they are good enough friends for your DH to have told him that he isn't 'ok' with buying a new suit to match the wedding colour scheme Confused

badg3r · 20/06/2015 23:31

Spend the money you would have used for a gift on suit hire. Or borrow one. It's a bit of a strange request but the groom is probably just being insensitive (is groomzilla aching?) and hasn't released your dh had no use for it after the wedding. Normally I would expect suit hire to be covered though.

badg3r · 20/06/2015 23:31

Spend the money you would have used for a gift on suit hire. Or borrow one. It's a bit of a strange request but the groom is probably just being insensitive (is groomzilla a thing?) and hasn't released your dh had no use for it after the wedding. Normally I would expect suit hire to be covered though.

badg3r · 20/06/2015 23:32

Spend the money you would have used for a gift on suit hire. Or borrow one. It's a bit of a strange request but the groom is probably just being insensitive (is groomzilla a thing?) and hasn't released your dh had no use for it after the wedding. Normally I would expect suit hire to be covered though.

Original poster
Luxme · 20/06/2015 23:36

badg3r thats very true thats what I'll do then. I'll send them to receipt too in a card (just kidding!)

OP posts:
widgett · 20/06/2015 23:53

I had to buy 2 suits for my DC for a friends wedding, they were part of the bridal party. Bride offered to buy them but the shop where her fuckwit of a DH insisted on buying them was 60 miles from where we live and didn't do anything that fitted either DC (basically all suits were 36/38/40 chest only, and only 3 trouser sizes). So I bought 2 suits in the same colour in a normal shop which had a better range of sizes. She said she'd reimburse me, then ignored my email sending the receipt and never mentioned it again.

So I didn't buy her a wedding present, as I was already £200 out of pocket.

We've barely spoken since. I can't say it's much of a loss tbh!

OrangeFluff · 21/06/2015 00:21

I got married 2 years ago, and I went by this:
Anything I asked someone to wear, I paid for, e.g. bridesmaids dresses, best-mans suit.
Anything they chose for themselves without any input from me, they paid for, e.g. shoes.

so YANBU.

FeelingSmurfy · 21/06/2015 00:24

My dad and brother were in dark suits and my uncle (walked mum down aisle) only had a really light brown suit, he said he would buy one and they said no way, said if he wanted to sort of match more and would feel more comfortable then we would pay for it, but we were happy with him wearing anything he wanted as long as he was there

badg3r · 21/06/2015 01:05

Spend the money you would have used for a gift on suit hire. Or borrow one. It's a bit of a strange request but the groom is probably just being insensitive (is groomzilla a thing?) and hasn't released your dh had no use for it after the wedding. Normally I would expect suit hire to be covered though.

badg3r · 21/06/2015 01:07

Why is that there three times?!!!! Stupid phone. Haha yeah, totally send the receipt and a lovely pic of dh wearing their wedding gift Wink (maybe not!!!)

UglyBugaz · 21/06/2015 01:23

YANBU he should pay not your DH

EatDessertFirst · 21/06/2015 03:18

YANBU. Cheeky! his is why we are having no ushers next year as we can't afford anymore suits. There is no way I'd make any member of the wedding party pay for their own outfit no matter how much DM assures me its traditional

monkeysox · 21/06/2015 06:08

Hire one or borrow one . What are other members of wedding party doing?

Mopmay · 21/06/2015 08:19

There is no way on earth id be buying one. I'd simply say I'm really sorry, we can't afford any further outlay. I think people need to realise that it's their day but guests are not made of money. It's unreasonable to ask people to spend the price of a family holiday on one weekend

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