Sleep overs

[gabsdot45]

My niece who is 9 came for a sleepover last night, She wanted to sleep in with my son who is 11 rather than my daughter who is 8.
I said no, that they are too old for a boy and girl to sleep together. BTW they would have been in the same bed.
Was IBU

no you were not i would have said the same

Single or double bed?
I think 9 and 11 is still OK unless one is in mid/advanced puberty which would be unlikely.
Unless it's a single bed, just because they would be pushed up against each other.
My eldest DC (boy 14 and girl 12) share a double bed at my mum and dads and that seems to be ok. I assume they're not having it off or anything

Not sure as not there yet age wise but my ds slept at his friends (girl) house the other day and they slept in same bed, theyre both 5. It didnt occur to me to be bothered.

Five is not the same. My dd's best friend is a boy. They slept in the same bed until they were nine, when they were ten it seemed odd so we stopped.

Definitely too old - not fair to either of them.

Thanks for the comments. It is a single bed and although they are both still very innocent, I didn't feel good about it.

You should buy an air bed for future sleepovers...

Yanbu, definitely to old for boy and girl to share. You made the right decision.

It's not really fair on your DD if her friend turns out to have only come for the brother! What reason did she give for wanting to sleep with him?

I wouldn't have a problem with it. If they weren't related then i would probably err on the side of caution and say no but considering they are cousins i wouldn't be bothered. Honestly, what did you think was going to happen?

Considering your son was ok with it of course, i would just tell him to come and tell me if there was a problem.

I wouldn't have, not because I think either would have had any 'intent' but to protect them should anything be said in innocence. Your niece is only a year old than your DD so I don't see why that is something she would have any right to dictate to be honest. There would be no discussion in our house!

For me it would depend on how close your children and your niece are - are they more like brothers and sisters all together or do they not see each other very often.

I have a cousin exactly the same age as me and when we all stayed at grandparents I often shared a bed with him and his older brother (1 year older) while my younger sister shared with their 2 younger sisters. This went on until I was maybe 10 or 11 and nobody thought anything of it.
But we were all like siblings. If I'd only been seeing them a few times a year I'd have been mortified at the idea.

Also - why did your niece want this? had she fallen out with your daughter? If not, it seems strange as it seems more natural that and 8 and 9 year old would want to be together.