The 'Facebook' Effect - Anyone else feel life is always greener.....

[LittleLaddy]

I know I am being unreasonable if I am honest but I see all these fb posts of everyone having all this wonderful time and enjoying themselves with hundreds of different friends and I am left feeling life is passing me by at times in friendship terms. I know FB only presents a certain side of life but even if I wanted to pretend I had this I couldn't present it through photos etc as it doesn't exist.
We have a lot to be very grateful for -two beautiful children, a wonderful relationship, we struggle financially but survive, but I barely ever see friends. There is two sides to this I have never really had a wide social network and often feel a little envious of those who do. I'm not very good socially, reading social situations knowing the right thing to say etc and feel like the outsider - I would like to be different and really do make an effort but DH is probably more unsociable than me and really likes us to have our free time as a family. But overall we have become a little like hermits!

So I see all my friends getting together and think well no-one invited us and feel sad. But this of course is two way as I don't often go above and beyond to see people, I'm normally so shattered with two young children and a full time job - social time and my leisure time goes out of the window as I do all my chores and bits in my spare time to ensure my children get maximum amount of attention from me - for example I work evenings 5 nights a week so I have 1.5 days off in the week + weekends.
So I suppose my real AIBU question is - AIBU to wish I could find this balance and have some more time with friends? And are there others in this position - or is the FB really all lies?

Case in point. FB acquaintance is one of those constant posters, thrice daily selfies, every bowel movement documented. Used to post constant 'wuv my wonderful man' type posts. Then they split up and it turned out he'd been shagging anything that moved for years. Three days later, she has a new man, then constant wedding updates, constant 'wuv my hubby'posts and all that. If you saw a snapshot of either post history you'd be thinking she'd dated/married Adonis himself when in fact the first time she was miserable. Who knows what she feels now? Is her husband as wonderful as she says? How would anyone know when it's the same emotional in continence she had for shagger boy?

My point is that what you see on Facebook is a highly curated version of people's lives that presents only the parties, events and sunny days.

There's nothing wrong with not being a social butterfly. I'm certainly not and I'm absolutely ok with that. You seem to have a life you're happy with so spend your energies there, not on FB.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

True

One of my childhood Friends recently moved to my street. I envied her fabulous sounding life, the reality is she is majorly unhappy in her marriage, can't cope with her kids, house is a complete tip but to Facebook she portrays this perfect life, I don't get it.
I don't mean to sound nasty but that's the absolute reality of it.
Lots of attention seeking posts, pictures taken in strategic places that don't reflect her home etc.
What are people trying to prove? It baffles me and fascinates me in equal quantity.

A Facebook 'friend' was constantly posting about how wonderful her life was. Last year she went missing, and it turned out that she had tried to commit suicide. A month later she is back, posting about how wonderful her life is.

Facebook is not an accurate reflection of what people's lives are like.

I'm just so glad that FB a was not around when I was a teenager. Imagine dealing with constant pictures of pouting friends all dressed up having fun at a time when you are feeling like an unpopular ugly duckling with raging hormones.

This is exactly why i got rid of Facebook a few years ago. I know I'm prone to "grass is greener syndrome" and it honestly used to depress me. I don't miss it at all.

It should be renamed Bragbook because IME that really is all most people use it for...

I remember thinking one couple I am friends with were having a fabulous holiday according to facebook. When I actually met up with them, they told me they had a terrible holiday.
Another friend posts about her weekends away. She is terminally ill and in a lot of pain.
Most people post about the good things in their life. So it is not lies, but it is certainly not an accurate picture of their life.

Yes too to seeing events I've attended presented on fb as way more exciting than I rember! I love looking at people's profiles with bikini snaps on boats in sunsets cos in my head all I think of is how it might have been around that moment... getting out the selfie stick, checking hair, taking photo, taking another dozen and picking the best, adding instagram filter, #feelingblessed, posting, checking how many people you met once at a party "like" it, missing the actual view...

Yes! And that is exactly WHY I deleted Facebook, it was making me feel depressed and like a failure!

It's almost as if some people just can't go about their daily business without telling everyone on FB every detail. They go to visit their mother, photos go up on FB; they go out for a pub lunch with friends, photos go up on FB; a large puddle forms outside the house when it rains, yep photos go up on FB. Some people can't seem to have any experience without 'sharing' it.
What I find surprising is that people think that anyone else would be the slightest bit interested in these things!