To think that someone should feed this child

[Bardette]

I work in a number of different schools, visiting once a week to work with selected children.
One particular boy troubles me. His family has heavy social services involvement. His mum is being encouraged to 'step up' and take responsibility for her children. There is a plan in place with certain criteria she has agreed to follow.
One of these criteria is to give the children breakfast before they go to school, and because of this he is not allowed to go to breakfast club any more.
So he gets no breakfast.
Mum is, for whatever reason, not giving him breakfast, and school will not because of the agreement.
AIBU to think that this is wrong? I assume that the school are feeding back to social services and they will take it up with mum, but in the mean time this poor little lad has to go to school hungry. He is 6.

There would indeed, train - I know it's not easy to make these judgement calls.

Just very depressing that everyone is aware of a neglected, hungry child and that child will be hungry again on Monday morning.

I honestly don't know what the answers are, but that child is still hungry. And will probably be hungry for weeks, if not months. The thought of the school not feeding him because the mother then won't bother seems wrong to me. Maybe I'm naive but can't they note when the child turns up without breakfast, feed the child and report back to mother/ss 'child not fed by you.'?

How long do these things take? I had school friends who suffered the most horrible neglect and abuse in the home, and ss never seemed to take desicive action. I think I'm probably biased. :(

How many times does this have to happen for SS to have enough evidence?

And why does it have to happen? Surely there are other ways of proving neglect. Like a signed contract between all parties to say that the parents must feed the child and if he comes to school hungry on X occasions in X weeks the parents have broken the contract and further measures will be taken. The child does not have to be neglected with all parties standing by and saying yes I know he is hungry but neigh ho we just don't care enough to find an alternative way to prove it?!

This kind of wooly thinking winds me up no end. Poor child. Victim of all adults around him including those who should protect him.

I'm a designated CP officer.
If, as part of a CP plan Social Care suggested that school ban a child from breakfast club I would tell them absolutely no. School should still be feeding this child if he has had no breakfast, then recording this and communicating with the SW. By the next core group meeting school will then be able to present evidence that parents are not meeting the aims as per the plan.

Whatever my job I couldn't in all consciousness let a child go hungry no matter the "rules."

And actually I'm not sure I see the problem. Mum is providing breakfast by taking the child to breakfast club.

Very genuinely, how do people know the child isn't getting breakfast?

in these situations I do not see guide lines and regulations and what one can or cant do.,

I simply see a neglected child who needs food, so I would feed.

I would then be on phone to whoever saying like a broken record: this boy is not being fed, he is not being fed, he is not being fed!

Some mentioned going round in circles because the school is feeding child so parent does not have too.

That is beside the point, the parent STILL has no intention of feeding their child and THATS the issue, and that needs addressing.

Op I hope you able to feed this boy. I would feel like buying a shit load of stuff and telling school its for him and in special place, and tell him, if your hungry ask for your food.

morecrack reassurance, voice of reason thank goodness!

Speak directly to the head!

She is not allowed to feed them. The school dinners are strictly calorie controlled

maddnes i would happily feed and go to court if neccasry and say why feeding.

The RSPCA wouldn't leave pets in homes that don't feed them

your right they have to have water and stuff always available.

we dont like children much as a society, people do henious crimes to children and get very weak sentances, people abuse them, and its gets hidden and covered away...

maybe its time we started to put children higher up our general priority list.

became far more - non negotiable about it ALL.

alovely of course, this is the worrying thing, the tip of the ice berg.

The RSPCA would, because chances are no one would know the pets were being starved. Usually when such cases come to light it's when animals have already sadly died and the smell is noted by others, which is awful to think of.

This little boy is under the SS 'radar' so to speak. Missing breakfast in itself will not cause starvation or malnutrition. The solution isn't therefore to provide breakfast - the problem is that missing breakfast is indicative of a myriad of other factors which the OP cannot hope to solve.

All you can do is keep reporting.

It is worrying that you say you work in a number of different schools, and yet you don't know the safeguarding procedures though.

I don't agree with the horror of the OP asking a question - there are no unusual identifying bits of information - this is a situation that could be in any school in the land, and, in many schools, one of many, many children. It doesn't portray one situation, but a common one across the country.

I recently trained as a CASA (Court-Appointed Special Advocate) in my county. As part of my training, we discussed allowing parents to fail in order to obtain sufficient evidence to terminate custody. Sometimes Children's Services knows that a parent isn't suitable, but knowing it and proving it in a court are two different things. Is that what's happening here?

I honestly don't know what the answers are, but that child is still hungry. And will probably be hungry for weeks, if not months.

Here, this would only be allowed for a week or two, long enough to prove the parents can't or won't comply.

I wouldn't let the kid starve, either, I think the school should feed him, but make Children's Services aware that mom isn't cooperating with her reunification plan.

Sadly I know from teachers that this is very common.

Around here (deprived area) they have a free breakfast club, presumably because otherwise the children wouldn't be fed.

The OP hasn't givrn identifiable details. If discussing things anonymously was a sackable offence then the TES forums would not exist.
Who knows what small details the OP may have changed to protect identities b

Thing is, if your mother had been rubbish at giving you breakfast, at the age of 6, would you have wanted to be taken away? Or would you have wanted public money to spent instead on more support in the home, and checking you were eating adequately?

It is not always the tip of the iceberg - sometimes it is chaotic and might be negligent, but not intended cruelty or the same thing as violence.

Where do the children go - into care, amidst all the various reports of inadequate care and abuse?

And the trauma of being taken away from people you love, however inadequate?

It isn't that there is specific identifiable information or there may be- but actually that details are being shared-and most procedures wont let you share details of any child you work with and these are details.

I hate the thought of a child being hungry-but there are lots of well looked after children who skip breakfast or feedittothedog- who might be peckish when they arrive at school- but unlike those children the probability is that this child wont have had a decent meal the night before either.
If the mother knows that the school will bail her out and still report it-she can say in court but I knew that actually he would be fed, and I needed the weetabix money for fags-booze-makeup-my abusive boyfriend. I made that choice knowing my boy would be fed-so I am not so bad after all and she might just get yet another chance.

The summer holidays are coming up and whilst there will be some schemes to offer care and play in the holidays this issue could get much worse over that time frame. If they need to be really sure- now is the time to start taking action

As for how long does it take to intervene it can be years it can be weeks it can be months- if social services move in too soon there is a danger they wont have enough evidence to keep the child safe from ongoing harm-too late and sadly there may be too much information. Ultimately the best thing for the child is trying to keep them with their family and most SWs will fall over themselves to try and make that happen,and yes often that will be at the expense of the child, because even if staying together is best an awful lot of parents just cannot pull it out of the bag- but the question as to when to move in if that isn't working is like clutching at smoke, and there will be lots of complicating factors in the background including what sort of childhood this boy's mother had-who she is in a relationship with, whether there are other members of the family who might be able to step in-whether the mother can actually sort herself out, because if she can't the best thing for that boy is that it is unequivocally proven sooner rather than later

OP, it's a poorly organised school if volunteers have not been informed of how to report CP concerns. I have been a school's designated CP officer and if a member of staff was found to be discussing confidential information on any social media they would be at least subject to a warning.

The issue with feeding the child (unfortunately) is that as a school you end up covering up the problem. And, as a PP has mentioned, the mother could say she knew he was being fed at school.

Often, due to the highly confidential nature of CP, many staff will not have access to all of the details. OP, as a volunteer you would only be told what you needed to know, not the ins and outs. I'm not suggesting you want to know them, but that you won't necessarily be told of an outcome to any of your concerns. As a CP plan appears to be in place, it seems as though there is a definite limit to how long this poor child will be in this situation. But do make sure you make appropriate reports to the designated person of all of your concerns.

it seems wrong the school have been told not to give him breakfast does that not make ss as bad as the parent?

why cant they feed him but put it in note. to say child had to be given breakfast x times as mum had not...

my daughter used to tell nursery and reception i was not giving her breakfast. (i was) she was in reception and they said she been saying it since nursery i asked why they did not say anything. they said they thought it was something she was just saying but when it went on had to tell me. went on for over a term. they questioned me and my 2 sons all seperatly.

It's interesting that we are all focusing on how this mother has utterly failed in her duties.

OP does the dad reside in the same household? What role does he play?

You need to report this ASAP. And we need to think, before we place all responsibilities and blame on mothers alone.