to ask you to settle a disagreement (trivial)

[EatDessertFirst]

We are going on holiday on Monday morning.

On Sunday I am intending to clean the house from top to bottom, changing beds, all washing, bathroom etc etc. The idea being that the house is nice for when we get back. (Disclaimer: I am more than happy to do it all myself. DP and DC don't have to do anything). I cannot bear the idea of coming back to a messy house and a basket full of washng plus the holiday washing.

DP thinks a quick tidy is good enough as will be putting all dirty washing in the basket, in a sort of, out for sight, out of mind deal.

Who, if either of us, is being unreasonable?

Your dp is. I always clean and tidy my house top to bottom before I go on holiday so that it is all nice when I get back!

I always do what you're intending. I like coming back to a tidy house. DH used to be resistant but helps now because he likes it too. There's always loads of holiday laundry to do when we get back so it makes it worse if there's already a full laundry bin.

You're totally not BU if you're going to get on with it all yourself; leaving the washing seems like a bad idea because you'll come back from holiday with a ton more! Is DH hoping you'd be doing fathers day things instead of cleaning?

I don't clean the flat before I go away..... but I always regret it afterwards.

What would happen on your Sunday if you weren't cleaning?

I'm with your dh on this one.

You're Dh is bu. I couldn't come back to a house that needs cleaning and a ton of washing to do!

If you are willing to do it all yourself, I don't understand how this is a disagreement? Presumably it's not the case that he actively wants to come back to an untidy house? Unless he does, I think you've found the solution, not a disagreement!

Neither - it's a question of compromise. Is it nice to come home to a tidy house where you can relax? Yes of course!
Does every scrap of housework a person can imagine need to be completed before going on holiday? Nah.

Should they all be pitching in to make it presentable for your return? Absofuckinglutely! Don't be happy to do it all yourself.

Depends on how stinky the washing is. A few socks and tops? I'd leave those, but not dhs cycling tops. After a week they'd be riper than an orchard at harvesting time.
Do a load of washing so there's less to do when you get back, but don't feel you have to empty the basket.

I'm sort of halfway between your husband and you. Ideally I'd do a top-to-bottom job but on the day itself I never seem to have time to do more than run a hoover everywhere and do the washing up.

and when I say "I", I do mean "we", really.

Rogan It would be a rare family day as we are both off .

YouMeddling Fathers Day is a bit of Hallmark Day in this house.

Don't get me wrong, it won't take all day. We aren't entirely slovenly! DS 4.5 also enjoys helping with the housework strangechild.

Maybe we can compromise.

Id strip and remake beds, clean and mop kitchen and bathrooms and do as much laundry as possible so Ive clothes to wear when I return. Thats my lot. I wouldnt be deep cleaning skirting boards etc.

I'd say neither is being U, just different approaches.... unless...

you're refusing to do anything on Father's Day in favour of cleaning
DP is refusing to look after kids while you clean
DP wants to go out all weekend leaving you to pack and clean on your own
you have cleaning OCD
you have a really busy Sunday planned and a top to bottom clean isn't possible
you need to take it easy for health reasons

in which case maybe one of you is being a bit U.

I agree that coming back to a clean and tidy house is optimal. If there's one thing guaranteed to worsen any post-holiday blues it's arriving home to a mess.

shit, I don't think I ever clean skirting boards except when moving house. I should not be looking at this thread, it will give me the fear.

That is the kind of thing I have in mind Think plus I did the skirting boards and door frames last week.

Thank you all for your input. A compromise will be reached.

I wouldn't bother doing a thorough clean, house will get all dusty again when you're away. I'd tidy up a bit but not go mad.

And I wouldn't have left all the dirty washing till the day before you go away, I'd have organised it so most was done and dusted several days before.

Day before holiday should be all about the packing IMHO not getting the Hoover out.

Ah cross posts. Do compromise OP, no one ever regretted not cleaning more on their deathbed!

I always clean very thoroughly the day before we go away (but I clean thoroughly once a month anyway so I just time it right) .I have been known to strip /remake beds and wash the sheets etc the day we eave .But was cured of that when airport taxi arrived ten minutes early once and they were still in the tumble dryer. I decided that was a bit anal .The only problem is, I can start a holiday feeling shattered!
Its partly because I'd hate to come back to a messy house but also, if I'm being really honest. i'd hate anyone to think I was a slut if anything happended to me ( shallow, I know).
But I can see DH might be peed off if you usually make a big 'thing' of Fathers Day .

I try to leave the place tidy, there might be a few last minute bits when someone starts searching for something as we are going out of the door or makes themselves a piece of toast etc, but I try to get it as good as possible. When you get back and are tired the last thing you want is to walk in to the house and have to start making the bed, stick a wash on etc