Ffs, Is this too much to ask ????

[kittensinmydinner]

I warn everyone, this is going to be a really grumpy post but Ffs !! Dsc's here for weekend, both teenagers.. Both have own rooms, TV/tablets etc, but by 6:50 one had already been in our room (woken me up) to tell us he is making a cake for Father's Day, closely followed by the other who 'just wanted to ask daddy if he would take her into town to get something she needs.. ' the bloody shops wouldn't have opened for another 2 hrs ! I don't know why it's wound me up so much this morning, they have always been like it - I suppose it's partly because it's behaviour that I hoped they would grow out of over the last 10yrs and partly because of the complete blinkered attitude they both have. Not once do they consider that my other 2 dscs and 3 dcs (all late teens who live with us full time when not at Uni) are still asleep. This morning they have crashed around the house turning on food mixers, slammed doors, shouted at each other...etc etc . This behaviour has become so annoying to myself and the others that they have all started staying over with various friends when these two visit. Which is polarising the family into DH, me and older 5 for ten days a fortnight, and DH/me plus non resident 2 dcs for two days.. We had a family birthday last night so all stayed here - but the shouting and complaints are coming thick and fast this morning, it's like they do it on purpose. No one but me remonstrates with DH as these two can do no wrong and are just 'getting on with the day' whereas myself and dcs/dscs are just slugabeds.. Wasting our lives away.. ( I work full time m-f and am up at 5:30 am every work day) AIBU to think that 13/14 yr olds should be more than capable of staying in their rooms until at least 8:30 and then showing some kind of consideration until the rest of the household is awake. ?

they sound selfish.
they'll grow into inconsiderate adults who no-one will like if they don't get a very good talking to from your DH.

ahhh - the remarried dad guilts.
every selfish whim from the non-residing kids must be assuaged, just to soothe the guilts.

Yes to morning sex. They wouldn't come in to your bedroom even if you asked.

I get the waking you bit but personally I dislike the 'laying around all day' types so that would get on my nerves. As they are only with you limited time maybe get up and give them a hand?

OP says she's getting up at 5:30 during the week, so these DSCs coming in to talk about things at 6:50 does not mean the OP is 'laying about all day', especially when she's only asking for the DSCs to show consideration till 8:30.

OP, totally get you here. If my DCs have friends over for sleepovers, they all get their own breakfasts/do things quietly until either DP or I get up. It's not that hard to consider others.

sex does not work! My dss walked in on us late at night having been asked repeatedly to knock. He walked in stood shocked and legged, next night he walked in again without knocking

Yanbu, not at the ages they are. There is no way anyone would be baking a cake in my house at that time of the morning at any age!

How about a lock on your bedroom door?

Aw I think it's lovely. Lovely that they are so keen to do something nice for their dad and lovely that he is so keen to leap up and join them for the few precious days they are with him. I love that.
To be fair though I get irritated when people lie around in bed in the mornings and expect me and the kids to tiptoe around (by people I mean exh) so I'm all for happy morning stuff!

They do sound very self-centred. Don't they wonder why everyone else avoids them?

I think the idea of a lock on your door is a good one. However really your DH needs to sort out their poor behaviour for the sake of everyone, before they drive all the other teens away.

Thanks everyone, decided to take self and grumpy woken up teenagers (who gave up trying to sleepoff to lovely country house pub/hotel for fat brunch and papers... And have told DH there will be a house meeting on Sunday night after visiting two have left where we will ALL make our feelings known. It's definitely the guilt thing as two of his live with us (one at uni and one at home) and when they wake him up coming home in the early hours - he does not hold back from telling them what he thinks !

As for the poster who made the sarky remark about ' up at 6:50 am to bake daddy a cake for Father's Day - DISGUSTING !! - Sorry, yes still really annoying as they asked if we were doing anything important today and I told them no, they had all bloody day to make a cake ! They need to start thinking, hold on, everyone is still asleep is only 6:50 , I'll be quiet and read/ watch TV/play on tablet/ etc until the rest of the house is awake !

whe op said about dsc coming into the bedroom asking about cake making and going to the shops early in the morning, i thought the dsc were aged about 5/6 ! just goes to show you shouldn't judge too quick.
they are step children in the family but they still need to respect the rest of the family who reside there full time, maybe 'daddy' [urgh, fingers down throat time] needs to speak with them about it. why should op have a lay in on her days off ? perhaps their mother is pleased to get a break from their early activities.

OP - You need a 'no noise before nine' policy at your house - implemented as of tomorrow. Don't wait until Sunday night! So it whilst they are still there.

My 7, 5 and 3 year olds can manage to play quietly or read in their bedrooms at the weekends, I'm sure teenagers can! It's time dh lay down the law.

This problem seems abnormal.

I second the poster who suggests your DH takes them out. For breakfast. A nice bonding activity for them and it avoids the ruination of all the other relationships in the family.