to not want to pay £100 to guarantee that our kids can sit next to us on the plane

[mumsnit]

DH wants us to pay £25 each to guarantee that we can all get seats together when we go on holiday next month. Aibu to think it's a ridiculous cost to pay out

But I have heard that one airline refused to seat a family together as they hadn't paid the premium and tried to seat a 3 year old alone on the other side of the plane from the parents. We don't go on holiday very often - especially abroad and I'm already nervous about flying so don't want this added to the stress of travelling.

WWYD/WDYD - do you pay the extra cost?

I've taken a million flights and never paid. It always works out.

BTW all the " speedy boarder" bashing - my sis pointed out ( she flies a lot) that speedy boarding means that you are guaranteed to have you hand baggage in the rack not in the hold ( they will check bags in for free when the racks are full) so you aren't waiting at destination.

Also your bags will be with you above your head not in the locker several rows behind you- more of a speedy exit policy than anything!

I'd agree with Theas18's sister - I fly a lot (mostly between London and either Dublin or Shannon) and when I can select seats (Aer Lingus or BA) I generally pick row 20 to be guaranteed to be an early boarder without being right at the back. Gate-checking bags is a pain in the arse, particularly for a one hour flight. I've found that picking a "quick exit" seat is a total waste of time because the overhead bins over the front rows are always full by the time you get to board.

Just booked last minute flights (two days prior) and got three out of the last five seats on the plane. I couldn't reserve any seats, but phoned airline who said it would get sorted at check-in as 1 infant and a toddler. It did and we were in row 2 together. There was another row for infants completely empty. Knowledge gained was that they don't release all the seats online to ensure that they can accommodate last minute travellers like us without having to move people who have paid. However I doubt you would get this service with older children.

Heh I thought someone would say that about middle seats somewhere! Although the pp who talked about there only being three acceptable rows in a plane might, if the alternative were close to a bog or bassinet. But really, the current state of affairs basically means that one could pay the better part of a hundred quid for a particular seat and be lumbered with someone else's unaccompanied child. Something I don't think most people would be that impressed by. It's not even a case of 'your responsibility, pay up or shut up'. Because you can pay up and still get lumbered!

The biggest problem you face with not paying to select your seat is that you have no guarantee that (in the unusual situation that all the adults will be separated from all children travelling) those who are seated next to either you or your child (therefore the people your hoping will move I assume) might not be able to move for whatever reason, other reasons that it other than just not wanting too.

The not simply not wanting too move would be as equally rare as a child being properly separated from an adult they are travelling with. Airlines don't purposely separate children!

It's clear that as people get charged for more and more in an a la cart fashion, their attitudes get correspondingly petty.

Flying has become cheap. Airports are more crowded and grungy than bus stations. Interestingly the relative cost of business class has rocketed. 20 years ago, it was about 50% more than a coach class ticket. Now it is about 400% more than a coach ticket. I think this is a combination of the coach class getting cheaper as well as the business class becoming more expensive.

In this situation , I suppose people look for affordable ways to make their flight more bearable. Such as preferred boarding or assigned seating. Sort of a chance to put some clear blue water between themselves and the "riff raff."

For the people frothing about courtesy and not leaving a 2 year old alone and scared, the person who has responsibility for your child is YOU - that means it is YOUR responsibility to ensure you are seated with them.

The scenario is simple. You either pay - as I always do - and get the seats you want. Or you don't and take the risk.

But however you dress it up, it is totally entitled behaviour to expect people who have chosen to do what you refuse to, to facilitate your choice. IMO being a decent human being works both ways - and that also includes ensuring you aren't asking unreasonable things of other people.

Exactly Jacques.

"No no no SDTG! Children given as gifts are returned full of red lollies and with a free puppy."

Yay - I'd love another puppy, Midnite!

I would be unwilling to move seats (though I would not want to see a child separated from their parent). I am almost blind, and would find it very stressful not being with my travelling companion. You wouldn't necessarily be aware of this, and I wouldn't want to get into a 'whose need trumps whose' explanation. It's not necessarily the case that people who don't want to move are just doing that for the hell of it. They have stumped up the cash for a reason!

I would never have the brass neck to ask another passenger to move for my family's benefit if I had chosen to save my money and take the risk.

How dare people try to shame other passengers into giving up the seat they've paid for.

You think it's too much money but you expect somebody who has paid it to throw their own money away? You are basically demanding on the spot that a complete stranger pays your seat allocation charge for you.

I pay even though DS still shares a seat so we'd never be separated from him but I'm a terrible flyer so need to be at a window and beside DH. If I get stressed before flight there's no going back and I'll be a nervous wreck the whole flight so having seats booked takes away one worry for me. There's not a chance I'd move for anyone, I paid for a reason. So OP, if you're worried about it I'd pay.

I know Ann

The woman who 'asked' us yo move initially made her son sit in the middle of our row and put hats and bags either side of him in the hope of bagging those seats.
When we said 'those are our seats' she actually said 'but my hat is there!'
DH said 'is it a magic hat?

fast my son everyone tells me should be tested for ADHD. I won't have him tested because I enjoy him just as he is. The only way to describe him is it is like you are living with the cast of Monty Pythons Flying Circus rolled up into one child. He wants to write comedy, and design computer games. He has already done 1 game which is very rudimentary and is working on his 2nd.

The cabin crew can't and won't just look after children in separate cabins from their parents. It just doesn't happen. - a friend of mine is cabin crew on BA and I asked him about it, after a MN thread about parents in business and kids in economy. And he said this happens all the time, no bog deal and cabin crew will of course simply be extra nice to the kids.

no big deal, not bog, obviously.

Sqiggly, i too look fine! I get people try to shame me out of my seat on public transport all the time!

If I go to a restaurant, where there's an a la carte menu, and I pay for each item I choose from the menu - starter, main course, side dishes, dessert, coffee, and the person at the next table decides to just order the main course for themself and their child, no side dishes, starter etc, do they have the 'right' to demand that I share my starter, sides, dessert etc with them, because their child doesn't have any of the add-ons? And would others think I was 'disgusting' for saying no?

Basically, airline travel used to work on a set menu basis - you paid the price, and it included all the extras - but it cost more than the basic cost of a no-frills flight now. And now we have an a la carte menu - but everyone knows that that's how it works - and they can choose to go for the cheapest option, or they can choose the add-ons that they need. But if I choose to pay to put a bag in the hold, you can't demand I give you my hold baggage allowance because you haven't paid for one, but want to take more luggage.

Cheap flights are great - last year I flew from Glasgow to London and back, as a day trip, to meet up with MN knitters and crocheters at the V&A - there's no way I could have afforded to do that under the old system, but because I could fly with just hand baggage, and was flying solo, I could pay the bare minimum and have a great day out. But, as I paid much less than I would have paid under the old, set menu pricing system - did I scam the airline? No, of course not - and the airlines are not scamming people when they offer a menu of extras you can choose to pay for. They are giving you choice - it is up to you, grown, intelligent adults, to decide what choices to make. Just don't expect others to bail you out if you make the wrong choice.

As a previous poster says - if a parent chooses to play russian roulette with seating allocations and the needs of their small children, and loses - that is their fault.

And I notice no-one has answered the question from a previous poster - if you do decide not to pay for allocated seating, would you offer to reimburse the person who has, who agrees to move so you can sit with your child - or would you expect them to be out of pocket because of your poor decision?

like the magic hat comment

you have the choice, either take the risk or not. But don't be demanding/entitled/twattish if it doesn't work out.

I have taken the risk before and it was always fine. I never had to ask anyone to move for me yet. But i don't fly to peak destinations at peak times, so usually plane only half full.

On a short haul flight it all doesn't matter anyway.

On a long haul flight (or anything over 3-4 hours) I'd pay for the peace of mind.

'Magic hat'

Great analogy SDTG.

I think that if you are someone who has never had much difficulty in life before having children, then having DC seems like such a HUGE thing that everything and everyone else should bow to it.

But many people without DC on that aeroplane will have other difficulties in their life - disabilities, phobias, traumas, anxiety issues etc. etc. that mean it is also really important to them which seat they are in and who they are next to. They shouldn't automatically have to move for you. And they're not necessarily a rude, grumpy, obnoxious, entitled arse for saying they don't want to.

Sitting next to someone else's small child is much preferable to sitting next to our own, I've always though. No onus on you to entertain them, or take them to the loo, or stop them kicking the seat in front, or listen to how bored they are. A little help getting the covers off their food and you're free to read and relax.

Opinions then on my family scenario given this debate.
First holiday abroad - Majorca. Taken ages to save, taking hand luggage only, passports costs yada yada.
DH, me and 4 children. Am happy for three of them to sit wherever on the plan - they will be excited as first time fliers, but know how to behave and won't cause any issues to neighbouring passengers.
DS2 9 has adhd. he will need to sit next to me or DH for his own safety and for the sake of others.
Should we have to pay to sit together because he has a disability?
There is no way of declaring this that we have seen so far on the airline website.

out of interest, what is the cut off for an amount of money I have paid that I should give up the benefit of because someone else's child is inconvenienced because his or her parent didn't pay to reserve seats? Is it fine if it's £30 but if it's £100 I can stay where I am?