Have I done enough to help this child?

[kewtogetin]

Hi all, I'm going to be sketchy about the details as I don't want to out myself but I will answer any questions you have.
I'm worried about a child, well 2 children actually, in fact worried is not strong enough a word, I'm terrified for them.
They are brothers, 4&7, I know them from my sons school, I see them everyday on the school run and witness the father verbally and (this morning) physically abusing them. This morning he pinned the 4 year old to a wall by his neck, told him to fucking shut up and then stormed off. This was the final straw and i have reported him to SS.
Their have been other incidents, witnessed by myself and others, also reported, I know they are on SS 'radar' so to speak but nothing seems to change/happen.
Incidents include the eldest being kicked in the shins, told he will be thrown in front of a fucking car, picked up by the head and thrown, told 'you're going to suffer when you get home tonight boy'. The boys 'crimes' include whistling and tripping up.....
The father is the most aggressive, threatening man i have ever met, my children witness his behaviour and are terrified of him, my 2 year old calls him 'the naughty Man'
I'm scared for these children but I don't know what else I can do, the mother stands and watches and I've heard her saying 'don't you tell anyone about this or you'll get taken away' and 'if anyone asks you tell them you fell'
I'm at the end of my tether, I dread to think what's happening at home, i feel as though if i witness one more event I'm going to lose it and tell the father exactly what kind of man I know he is, that I'm watching and i know what's going on. Is this a terrible idea?
Is their anything else I can do? Anywhere I can go to help these boys? His aggression is escalating and with the long summer break coming up in genuinely worried for them.

[Mermaidhair]

Op can you befriend the mum? She may open up to you. It sounds like you are doing the right things. I second calling the police if you see something again. Report each and every incident. Those poor babies, the father seems like an absolute asshole.

[Wotsitsareafterme]

Well done op. Please, as others have said, keep reporting and the police also as you are witnessing crimes. Report every day if that's how often you are seeing it.
I would be marching back into school and requesting to see the head and saying something like 'are you aware two of your children are being assaulted yard from here?' And take it from there

[painting2014]

Could somebody get a recording of what is happening?

Or is anything happening within range of school CCTV?

I hate the idea of kids having to suffer for any longer to gather evidence. It sounds like they should already have been removed from that situation long ago.

If you know the other witnesses then perhaps every time anything happens you can agree to each log it with all the various authorities so they have as much history as possible.

[Getthewonderwebout]

You've done the right thing OP. When you see this kind of thing happen again, please also call the Police.

[kewtogetin]

I know of 2 others who have reported what they have seen to school/SS but nothing further has happened. I don't believe the mother is being cowed by the father I believe she is 100% complicit and takes the fathers side every time.

[BabyMurloc]

Those poor kids. Dont intervene just discretely report every incident to ss & police. Also do call the nspcc for advice.

[LineRunner]

I would call the Police, too.

I have seen a number of cases reported where the Police took action and were critical of the social workers who hadn't.

Well done for doing something already. It is hard, I know.

[Rinoachicken]

If be tempted to try and film it on my phone next time if you couldndonso safely.

And, this sounds awful, but I don't think I could 'befriend' a woman who is blatently putting her 'man' before the safety of her children.

[kewtogetin]

I agree rinoachicken, I think she's just as bad as he is.

[flippinada]

I think you have done the right thing OP. Those poor boys. I wish there were more people like you about .

As others have suggested, please consider reporting to the police as well.

I know the suggestions to befriend the mum are well meaning but involving yourself with this family is probably not a good idea.

[kewtogetin]

The school are aware, but the parents seem to be pretty good at 'explaining away' anything the boys have said in regards to their injuries.....the eldest has also been caught several times smearing his own faeces over the toilet walls.

[CheeseandGherkins]

Those poor boys :( Please don't confront the father as you will probably just make it worse for them. I would call the police though, today, and report everything you've seen. Please do not leave it. I know you've reported to ss but I do think it's serious enough for the police to be involved.

[Momagain1]

'Cowed' can look a lot like 'complicit' if that is the role he has abused her into performing. Thoughit could also be she is as bad as him, for the same or different reasons.

Reporting and reporting and reporting is about all anyone can do.

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

I would have a chat with some teachers at the school. They will probably have noticed the boys being quiet/withdrawn or causing trouble.
They will have procedures in place to deal with situations like this.
If you know the teachers of the boy(boys? Is the little one in school?), speak to them directly. If not, speak to the teacher of your child or the head.
Also, if you can do it without being seen or putting yourself or your family in danger, try to record some of his outbursts.
If your phone does video recording, set it to record before you get to "their place" and put it in your pocket, with the camera poking out somehow. Then it won't be visible to him.
He is bullying his (?) kids and his lady. Chances are, he would probably smash a phone if he saw it.
But with the evidence, he can't deny it!
Take the video to local police station and to the school.
Good luck. To you and those boys.

[bbcessex]

It's sounds absolutely awful.

If I were you, I would phone the non-emergency police number and explain the situation / your concern. They should be able to give you advice.

[Nicnoo2]

You need to make sure other people who witness the incidents also report them to the HT, Police etc.
I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't already on the radar and possibly undergoing a review, but you wouldn't be able to be told at that point.
If I was the Head I would be out greeting pupils to see the incidents first hand. Could this be suggested, or a teacher do it?

[Cubmom]

What you witnessed when the dad pinned his ds against the wall was assault, call the police. Tell them the violence you have witnessed, they are duty bound to act. Does CCTV at the school cover where it happened?

[painting2014]

I have a 4 year old son and just thinking about this makes me so angry and upset for the two boys.

If I was in this position I think I would assume that communication between the different agencies was slow and/or unreliable.

I would put my concerns in writing in a letter with as many dates and examples as possible and then send a copy to anybody with responsibility for the welfare of those children (head teacher, school governors, local education authority, head of local social services, health visitor, local health authority, school nurse, police, NSPCC, MP, literally anybody that can be made aware).

Make somebody have to deal with the situation and repeatedly remind them that they must.

You have absolutely been doing the right thing to report it and so have the others who have reported them.

[Mamus]

Keep reporting. To school, to Social Services, to the NSPCC and to the police. You're doing the right thing, I don't know what else you can do. I've been in the situation where I reported a family over and over and my concerns were dismissed, I understand how you feel frightened for the children, and that because you are aware of what is happening and services seem uninterested that it's your responsibility to make them safe.

There is always the possibility of reminding school of cases like that of Daniel Pelka and asking whether they would like their failure to protect children to be part of a SCR one day, if you really feel that people are not acting when they should.

I'm v glad of people like you, who don't just decice it's not your business and walk on by.

[Andro]

Call 101 and report it to the police, if the mum is not acting there is a good chance she too ius an abuse victim.

[selly24]

Please please please report everything you witness. Write everthibg down as son after the event as you can so it is fresh - including dates, times, exact locations descriptiond inc clothing, what you heard being said, actions, anyone else nearby etc

[SophieHatters]

just another voice saying please, please don't give up on this and take it as far as you possibly can.

Police would have to do something, what happened was assault.

[DopeyDawg]

I would report each and every thing you see to
LEA, Police and Social Services / NSPCC.

I'd call AND write and copy agencies in.

This is obviously not a 'one off' lapse of temper by a parent but something sustained and damaging for the children.

You are doing the right thing.

[steppemum]

write down everything you can remember, today and past incidents, give and approximate date where possible.

Type it up and send it to SS with a covering letter. Say simply that you have reported every incident but are concerned that they are still happening and that the boys are at risk.

I would also call police. and anyone else I could think of.

The concern for me here is that it is frequent and consistent and dangerous