On the 7th I'm going in for my third csection and just want to do it alone this time. I had such an awful experience last time the anesthetic didn't work properly and left me pain for days after. I got two bed sores in hospital and my scar opened up and got infected. I didnt have pnd but i littrally started to think odd things like I was going to die all the time and had some sort of odd life crisis. I started doing stuff off my bucket list etc I know it sounds crazy. DH never really makes me feel any better or really even listens to me and I just feel like I can cope better on my own. Also it's ds4 taster day at school and mil said she's taken a few days off to stay round and help out but she never feeds my boys properly just gives them crap to eat bags of crisps and all the chocolate they want. Every time she looks after them she littrally never cooks the meals I have for them. I also can't trust her to take ds to school as I know she would let him stay at home if he moans. I feel selfish but I just don't want her or anyone else staying round when I get home. AIBU?