AIBU to not give my 12 year old daughter my apple ID password?

[ninja]

She thinks I'm mean and should trust her - it's not that I don't trust her but it's a password linked to a credit card. It's also linked (though not the same) as other passwords of mine.

Think she's annoyed that I've caught her out that she's not been cleaning her teeth (I'm also mean for not trusting her to do this!). Or about one of the many other things she's annoyed about

Not helped because it's my birthday and I didn't even get a 'Happy Birthday' from her, just shouting and grumpiness

Family sharing is the way forward. Even if you trust a teenager, there's no need to give them your password - it doesn't encourage good habits IMO in terms of not sharing that kind of info with other people.

Happy birthday ninja and I agree that she doesn't deserve anything at all if she's not been nice to you on your birthday.

Thanks for the birthday wishes :) Can't say it's been a great start to the morning!

Yes - we have family sharing on her ipod so she uses her password for that. She also has a gift card attached to her apple ID which I assume would be used before my credit card (may need to check this). So on that she can download free apps no problem.

I have security set up for in app purchases etc.

She wants to be able to download things without asking onto my ipad when she's using it and to be honest it is sensible things like word ...

I actually trust her not to go silly and spend my money on purpose and I think she's sensible enough not to do it by mistake - however, I just think that a basic rule of internet safety is to keep passwords secure. I wouldn't tell it to anyone else so why her? I glad some of you agree with this. Unfortunately she has her dad's password at his house and so I'm being the cruel one yet again.

She brought this up (again) after accusing me of not trusting her to clean her teeth (quite rightly it seems as she hasn't been ). When I gave her a toothbrush loaded with toothpaste it looks like she just smeared it on the sink. She'd cut off her nose to spite her face.

Sadly she's an angry hormonal teenager and sometimes I have to question whether I am being mean.

Oh, I just read your op again and saw that she is 12. I read 21, that's why I thought the teeth thing was so odd and all the rest

*FearAndLoathing. I would completely trust my kids but I still wouldn't want to take any risks with porn or other unacceptable sites. If they have your Apple ID then they have free access to the Internet. (If you don't have parental controls on your home network).

It's not just porn it's other unsavoury stuff.*

I get what you're saying. In the 2 years he has been active online with access to my passwords he hasn't attempted to change any settings or do anything other than what he says he is going to do. I know that he is using the internet responsibly and it is fairly easy to check this without making him feel like I don't trust him.

Now, I am not a total naïf I do know that as he gets older his curiosity may lead him to seek things on the internet that I would rather he didn't see but we do talk about this a lot and are very frank with him about what's out there and the various moral issues and legal implications of looking at these things.

I believe you have to impress upon a young teen a sense of personal responsibility for their choices and actions and this includes helping them to understand the consequences of those actions, particularly for themselves. As teeth were mentioned in the OP, my DS knows that if he doesn't brush his teeth he only has himself to blame if they fall out by the time he is 25. They're not my teeth, I'm not the one facing the drill and so he can do what he likes with them. As a result, he brushes them twice a day, regular as clockwork.

If she's refusing to brush her teeth aged 12, I think she's proved that she's not mature enough to be allowed to just download whatever she wants!

Absolutely not! I would not ever be doing such a thing, as she could run up huge bills playing these silly games where you have to pay to collect things.

YANBU, it's like giving her your purse!! Just no.

Trust a child with your password - you'd have to be MAD.

Mine aren't even allowed on my Ipad / computer full stop. I use it for work, it's MINE and I don't want them messing my settings up or deleting my emails!
They have access to the 'family' computer and older Ipad but my nice computer and shiny Ipad Air are off limits.

YANBU.

My teens share my apple account (as in their devices are all linked to my account) but every time they want to download an app or whatever, they hand me the device and I key the password in.

It's not that I don't trust them, but as the OP says it's linked to a credit card etc, plus there have been scares in the last few years about hidden charges run accidentally by children for thousands of pounds and they don't want to run the risk any more than I do.

I spoke to them about it, understood and agreed.

I'm sure your daughter would understand, OP, if you reassure her that you do trust her.

My teenage DSs and I all share an Apple account on the various Apple devices. I do not share the password. If they want to download anything I put the password in. It's my money, my credit card etc. DS1 (17) has his own account on his Samsung with his own card, but it's cheaper to share one Apple account.