Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell DD 17yo she has to eat in her bathroom with the cats

20 replies

Stratter5 · 16/06/2015 13:23

If she doesn't stop forgetting to do the litter trays?

3 cats, 3 litter trays. I do them every morning, and she is supposed to do them every night. She wants to take the cats with her when she has her own place, and it's not happening unless I can guarantee she will remember to take care of them properly.

If they have to eat in the same room as pissy, shitty litter trays, so ahould she if she can't remember to keep them clean.

OP posts:
Spog · 16/06/2015 13:27

YANBU.
quite right.
she needs to learn to look after 'her' cats properly.

IHaveBrilloHair · 16/06/2015 13:29

Same argument in our house, dd adores the cats, but only cleans the trays if I nag.

Stratter5 · 16/06/2015 14:10

Table or off the floor? I'm leaning towards floor, personally.

OP posts:
RainbowFlutterby · 16/06/2015 14:13

Table as it's better for the digestive system.

Put one of the trays on the table.

00100001 · 16/06/2015 14:17

Just stop doing it for her at all.

If she can't do it, move the cats' stuff to another place and claim them as your own.

Wonkina123 · 16/06/2015 14:26

Cleaning litter trays twice a day seems excessive. Do you have outdoor space? We just stopped using trays & cats learned to go outside-never had an accident. However, thats not your point i realise. I would stop the cleaning-at the moment you are moaning about it but continuing to do it so she wont learn.

cozietoesie · 16/06/2015 14:47

The trouble is that if she 'forgets', it's the cats who suffer and not her. I'd simply tell her she's not having the cats - if she can't remember something as basic as cleaning trays, how good is she going to be with the rest of their care. Especially when living in her own place so possibly going out partying or similar.

00100001 · 16/06/2015 14:48

The only way she will do it thought is if she has to do it iyswim?

cozietoesie · 16/06/2015 14:53

Maybe so - but in my view, it's too much to risk the well-being of 3 cats to force a resolution of the issue.

00100001 · 16/06/2015 16:05

true.

I would still 'move' the cats

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 16/06/2015 16:07

Just dont cook for her.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/06/2015 16:08

Get her an automatic, self-cleaning litter tray. They exist!

Stratter5 · 16/06/2015 16:21

They are indoor cats; 2 of them have never been outside, the third is a foster cat, who was picked up as an injured stray. He's horrified at the thought of going outside, I think he views my house as his 'safe place'.

cozie is right, I'm not prepared to let the cats suffer. Their trays get cleaned out morning and night, and if they do a poo during the day I remove it.

She has to prove she will take as good care of them as I do, or they stay with me, no matter how much she loves them.

OP posts:
LadyDeGrump · 16/06/2015 18:46

Im not sure that a 17-18 yo leaving home for the first time should be able to take the cats with. Is she moving into a secure rental by herself? Or - as is more likely - is she m9ving in to some kind of short term rental shared house, negotiating housekeeping whilst living with other people also inrxperienced in living away from home, not devoted to your cats or responsive to their needs? Would housemates be careful not to let them get out accidently, for example?

SoldierBear · 16/06/2015 18:51

Put the litter trays in her bedroom.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 16/06/2015 18:52

Cleaning litter trays twice a day seems excessive.

Is it hell, we do it twice a day for our two indoor cats, they tend to pee in the morning and poo in the evening. Not leaving it festering all day!

gamerchick · 16/06/2015 18:55

What do you mean by cleaning it out? Like totally emptying, washing and filling up again or just scooping out the dirty bits?

DownAtFraggleRock · 16/06/2015 18:59

Not excessive IMHO

we scoop 2 or 3 times a day and fully change and clean boxes once a week. 2 cats who only 'go' indoors. ours are in the basement, thankfully Grin

and yes she needs to show she'll take good care of them before she can take them, quite agree

Denimwithdenim00 · 16/06/2015 19:06

I have suffered all day with a moaning whinging hormonal teenage dd.

She's just phoned me from upstairs to inform me the cat is meowing outside her bedroom door and could I sort it out. She's busy fake tanning. Angry

I feel your pain op. I would sling out the teen now and keep the cats.

Stratter5 · 16/06/2015 21:16

Same as Fraggle for cleaning routine.

She won't be leaving home for at least another year, so she will be 19 at least. And will probably be living with her BF in MrStratter's rental house - he's buying some to rent out to uni students.

She's not having the cats unless I'm happy she will care for them properly. She's very competent, can cook, clean, do laundry, etc; I've always involved them in chores, as I want them to be capable when they leave home. It's simply laziness/forgetfulness in this instant.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page