To think FIL is being selfish?

[Stripysecrets]

FIL needs cataracts surgery. He has been offered it at a fantastic eye hospital very quickly and on the NHS.
He has decided he wants to pay for a certain type of lens in his eyes to give him perfect vision. (He currently wears glasses).
They have told him if he wants to do this, he will have to have the ehe thing privately and will be over £3000 plus consultation fees etc.

Him and MIL have no money and he would have to get our a credit card for this.

AIBU for thinking he is selfish to consider paying when he can get it for free? Mil has asked him not to as the cost is so huge.
He said he doesn't have any issue wearing glasses but would like to experience 'perfect vision'.l without glasses. If there was no cost implication involved I would say go for it but there is a big one he can't afford. Due to other complications with his health that affect his eyes it may not be effective anyway and to pay for something like that baffles me.

MIL is asking is to talk sense into FIL and I don't really know what to say apart from 'don't pay for it'.

AIBU?

Having seen directly the difference in the standard of care between having the same eye surgery on the NHS and privately, I think your FIL is sensible. Either way, it's between him and his wife.

If you have perfect vision, you can't really appreciate how awful it can be to be very short sighted. I have spent a fortune over the years on glasses and contact lenses (which are not particularly comfortable, despite being the best ones on the market).

I actually think your mil is being very selfish in not doing everything she can to help fil. Perfect vision is such an amazing thing to have.

Of course, he needs to weigh up chances of success and then make a decision but it's his business and unless you are being asked to pay for it, your mil should never have involved you. She is old enough to know that dragging a third party into a marital dispute is never a good idea!

My current pair of glasses = over £600. My lenses = £45 per month. I have bad eyesight
I would give quite a lot to experience perfect vision. This is not your business and you a bu.

Fauxlivia I don't think it's fair to call the MIL selfish. I have very bad eyesight but if I can't afford the surgery then I can't afford it and I'd be selfish to put my family into debt if we'd struggle to repay when my glasses ate perfectly adequate.

OP - If anyone is going to talk to your FIL, of should be your DH but if FIL has already dismissed your MIL's fears I imagine it will go down like a lead balloon if he tries.

Hmm, those typos are due to my keyboard, not my eyesight!

It's none of your business OP.

Agree, it's not fair to suggest MIL is being selfish wanting to deny FIL the chance of perfect eyesight.

I have appalling eyesight, have worn glasses for over 60 years, could never get perfect sight with contact lenses either.

I'd love to have this operation but when I looked into it a few years ago it looked at if it would cost around £4000 and although I could afford it and I only have myself to consider, I just felt that spending that sort of money on my sight in my 60s when I've managed with glasses all my life was a bit ridiculous.

Yes, I too would love to experience perfect sight but probably never will. It's really not that big a deal.

OP's PIL clearly don't have the money to indulge FIL desires. Imo he's being incredibly selfish wanting to put them into debt in order to pay for something that really isn't essential to his well being.

Yes, £3000 isn't a huge debt for most people, but if they're living on a limited set pension then it probably is a huge debt for them.

Having said all that, you really can't get involved OP. It's for them to sort out. I just think MIL needs to put her foot down.