to be fuming with the school

[zobey]

My 3yo dd has came home from nursery with a bite mark on her face and scratches all up her arm. The teacher knows it was done at school but didnt write it up in the incident book. My dd wouldnt tell the teacher who did it but when she got back to my mums house both her and another little girl said it was a certain little boy. Would i be unreasonable to call the school tomorrow and find out why it wasnt wrote up and what they are going to do about it and how would i be to approach this big problem.

If the staff did not say anthing how do you know it happened between 12.30 and 1.00?

What did the nursery say to your mum when she picked your dd up?

They said o shes been bit on the face between 12:30 and one but we don't know what happened. And then they walked off.

Your op says your dc wouldn't tell the teacher who did it! That indicates to me that they've investigated it

You seem to be annoyed with them too readily imo,almost as if you \I'm not really away for the weekend but when I come home from work don't talk to me like that please, especially after the day I've had xwant them to have failed so you can be 'fuming ' end be in the centre of a drama

If I got bit on the face at work I'd press charges and sue my employer

Good luck with that. Why would an employer be responsible unless they did the biting themselves?

So they looked into what happened, your daughter wouldn't tell them so not much more they can do. Your daughter has now told you so let the school know they can have a word with the child and keep a close eye on them.

You seem to be turning a small frustrating issue into a massive thing.

Its the fact its not wrote up im annoyed about.

Your mum can just ask to sign the incident log. Bites should be recorded, even if the staff didn't see it and don't know who did it.

OP WHY does it matter it's not written up? How does it affect you? It doesn't change the treatment of the injury or outcome

Wrote up? What does that even mean ?

If you mean a written record in an incident book, then you have no idea if that's already been done!

It matters if it's not written up for several reasons. One is they should monitor the incidents and look for patterns. If they spot one they should risk assess how they handle situations and see if they can change it or improve to stop it happening again.

But if it's not there they can't look at this in relation to anything else.

Do you all think the paperworks just there for a laugh and no one does anything with it???

How do you know it's not been written up though?

DC have been bitten at nursery occasionally. I think it's fairly normal for that sort of thing to happen occasionally with small children who are still learning about how to manage their feelings appropriately.

But nursery have always written the biting incident up in their accident book, and asked whoever's picking up DC to sign the book. They've only ever been to one nursery, so I don't know how practices vary between nurseries, but I would be concerned that it hadn't been recorded at all if I wasn't shown the accident book and asked to sign it.

I'd phone them to ask about that.

RJ what risks? Kids fight it's not a big deal.

No I don't, but I do think that common sense has pretty much disappeared to be replaced by pointless beurocratic exercises. If the child is okay and not too upset by what happened I don't see the problem. I certainly wouldn't be getting upset over something as trivial as that

I suppose in this scenario, the "risk" assessment would be along the lines of noting a high number of biting incidents and seeing if most of the biting is done by one particular child.

Children fight, yes. Sometimes they bite.
But if for example, child A, tends to bite as a first resort during disagreements with other children, and is responsible for most bites at nursery, then you could argue that nursery should do a risk assessment aimed at monitoring A more closely and stopping A from biting other children.

Shadow I see your point but unless this is a regular thing I think OP is overreacting. If one child is repeatedly biting someone it would get very obvious very quickly

Everyone at work should wear Silence of the Lambs style masks to avoid employer liability for bites!

(Sorry OP, I couldn't help myself. Speak to the nursery tomorrow, calmly tell them who you think did the biting and leave them to sort it out)

Any biting at my DC's nursery and you have to sign the incident book at pick up whether you are the parent of the biter or the bitten, same goes if they have an accident or need to change their clothes. I'd be unimpressed if it hadn't been recorded tbh.

OP I think you need to speak to the school but I would suggest that you write an email first so that you have a written record.

Try to stay calm and keep it brief.

Explain what happened in a couple of sentences.

When my DD was collected from school on X date and time she had bite marks on her face and scratches on her arm. We were not asked to sign the accident book or properly told what had happened. It has since been confirmed by DD and another student that X has bitten and scratched her.

Then ask them what you want to know.

I would like to know how this was allowed to happen and why it was not properly recorded by the school at the time. I would like you advise me on the school's policy for dealing with this sort of incident and what you intend to do in the future to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Then arrange a time to speak to them.

I am at work and my mother collects my DD, so unfortunately I cannot discuss this in person, however I would like to arrange a time to telephone the school and discuss the issues I have raised. Can you confirm if the appropriate person will be available at X time on X date to discuss this with me by telephone.

Then in the conversation reiterate your points, what you want to know and what you want them to do.

Confirm what has been said in another email, so you can't be fobbed off later if you have reason to raise the matter with them again.

You and your DD have my sympathies. My DS was bitten on his face, arm and hand by a girl, and was badly scratched as well. She made an absolute mess of him in a matter of seconds. He was cut and bleeding in several places and the bite marks and scratches on his face ended with a black eye. He still mentioned it months later so it was a long term upset for him. He still, three years later, has a small scar on his face where she bit him.

He was distraught, needed first aid treatment, and her family were very dismissive about it as "biting is what kids do" and "she does this every time we go out, but what can we do, keep her at home all the time?"

No, but they could and should have been supervising her. Instead they were sitting in a place they couldn't even see her, completely unaware of the injuries she was causing to three different children including a baby, until the staff alerted them to the trail of blood, crying children, and angry parents making complaints about their child.

They told her she was naughty and then hugged her when she cried about it.

I hope you managed to calm down OP, before going in all guns blazing and demanding that the biter and his parents should face the firing squad. Staff didn't actually see the incident, and you physically can't watch everything 100% of the time. Your daughter was also unwilling at the time to reveal who did it, which limits the progress the school can make. She told you and your mother later, if that information is accurate (and children of that age are not always accurate after the event).

Small kids fight. Unfortunately there are a few biters at that age, who have not yet learned proper inhibition.

I don't recall my kids getting bitten, though they did get other bashings and bruisings at nursery or pre-school. I know that there was at least one biter there too when my youngest was. It isn't as uncommon as you might think. All that was ever needed was a quick question at the end of the session if the explanation hadn't already been given.

I know that a number of years ago the local pre-school had a child who seemed to be prone to biting others, and had to be supervised one-to-one most of the time. He had other very challenging behaviours and was eventually diagnosed as severely autistic.

You have probably spoken to the nursery now, but in the event that you haven't then you could just say that in light of comments your DD has made to you and to her grandma since yesterday, it may be that the perpetrator is "X", and ask whether that helps them to investigate.

Don't expect that they will give you much information on the other child concerned. You are not entitled to much of that under Data Protection. You just wish to know that precautions are in place to stop this from happening again.

I think it's extremely serious this was not followed up. A child is injuried causing marks and no explanation is given nor is it written in the accident book. I'd report this to Ofsted and not sure I'd want my child to be attending such a place.

It is an ofsted requirement that accidents are noted in an accident book and the parent signs it at the end of the session. I have on a few occasions noted a cut or bruise near the beginning of the session and later forgotten to take the book to get it signed. However as they told you about the incident they had obviously not forgotten so should have asked you to sign . I would check with them tomorrow. Children do bite because they have not yet gained the social skills of an adult. It is horrible for the child at the receiving end and they are always given a huge amount of TLC. Unfortunately it does happen and no nursery can guarantee it will not.

but Vivienne -

1. OP has now said that a member of staff did come and tell her Mum (who was picking her dd up)
2. You, I, or any of us - including the OP - do NOT know that it wasn't written up / recorded somewhere.