To think there's a happy medium re children playing out or being glued to x boxes

[lydiarobinson]

At this time of year you will often hear complaints about children being still outside playing noisy games or generally bothering the neighbours until quite late at night. One common response from parents is 'it's better than them being inside glued to their x-box' as if that's the only alternative.

Surely parents have some control over how much time can be spent on x boxes etc? What happened to parents playing board games or cards or paper games with their children for an hour before bedtime. Or even encouraging them to read a book if a parent is genuinely busy or exhausted.

But are some people so unwilling to engage for a short time with their children at the end of the day, or read with them, that the only alternative to their young kids still wandering around outside after dark is to have them sitting at home staring at a screen.

AIBU to think it's a pretty crap excuse to not call your children in at a reasonable time?

I honestly couldn't get worked up about 11 year olds playing football until 10pm in the summer, and I do have a small child that I want to sleep. It's not exactly the same as your neighbours having wild parties until 5am is it.

Friend, why are you deliberately twisting the OP's words. Where did she say or imply that she thought kids should be inside a lot?

'Playing out after tea is the best thing about the Summer'.

Who said otherwise Adventure. As soon as I read the OP I knew this thread would turn into one of those annoying debates about something the OP never actually said.

Well, if dinner is about 7pm, then after tea is late?

Yes, the OP made it clear that she was talking about kids still out around 9.30 and 10.00. Not children out after tea.

YANBU and I don't understand the 'I've got housework to do so my kids play outside' excuse. If you're still doing housework at 9.30 that doesn't excuse letting your kids still be outside kicking balls and making noise and annoying the neighbours.

Definitely by 9.30 football out of the road should stop and kids should be going home. And yes, there lots of things they can do besides playing on their X box.

I didn't realise board games and card games were now historical activities that no modern child would engage in. I must tell all the children in my family that bit of news.

I actually find it quite sad that some parents on here are sneering at the idea of children playing cards and board games, or reading for an hour before they go to bed.
No wonder so many children can't think of anything to do indoors but stare at a screen.

I'm not sneering at board games. I just don't think anyone else is entitled to tell my kids when their football should be over but me.

How selfish Friend.

Do you also think no one is entitled to request when loud music in your garden stops being played, except you.

Or no one else is entitled to have an opinion on when a party in your house should start keeping the noise down, except you.

Or no one else is entitled to ask your children to move their bag on the bus so they can sit down, except you.

And Meglet and Maman made very sneering dismissive comments about children playing traditional indoor games or reading.

Do none of these footballers get run over?
What time is bedtime if there is school in the morning?
Does quiet time before bed only exist in my house?
I have teenagers and outside play and screen time stop at 8.30. Clearly my DC are deprived but at least they are awake at school.

I'm not sneering at board games. I just don't think anyone else is entitled to tell my kids when their football should be over but me.

Even though their playing football affects those people?

Quiet time exists in my house as well. My children (and the majority of children around the area) are called in by about 8.30. We often take out a board game in the evenings, or otherwise they read, loll around chatting, get me to help them do puzzles in their comics etc. As far as I'm aware, that's perfectly normal. Most of my friends do the same.

It's incredibly childish to scoff at children being made to come in at a considerate time, and to find something quiet to do at home that doesn't involve computer screens.

.

I'm not dismissived about playing games or reading!!
My dcs love to read, esp dc1 so you will find them reading very happily. However, I'm aware that it is not the case for every child and that quite few of them would see that as a punishment rather than a nice thing to do.

There is also the assumption that 'in the olden days' parents were playing board games with their dcs. I'm saying I have never done it as a child. So again, the generalisation about the fact that before the advent of the xbox that's what people used to do isn't correct either.
In our family, we rarely play board game. When we do, it's usually when we are away on holiday, not at home.
It doesn't mean that it's bad or whatever, just that not everyone enjoys board games!

I have to say, it's interesting how people read just what they want to read...

If the noise level is actually anti-social then obviously there are laws to deal with that. But, yes, within the law, I'll be the judge of my kids bedtime.

Maybe you didn't intend it Maman, but the tone of your posts came across as a bit sneering and incredulous that children would actually want to play board games and cards or read.

And the 'Mary Poppins' comment by another poster was a bit depressing.

What I meant in my OP was that some parents seem to think that neighbours should be happy to have children making loud noise out on the road until ten o clock at night because 'otherwise they'd just be at home on their x box instead of outside doing something healthy', whereas there's lots of interesting things that children can do inside, and really it's the parents fault if they just sit glued to a screen anytime they're not allowed play outdoors.

But this thread isn't about children's bedtimes FriendsofX, it's about children playing outside until late at night.

Having said all that, tbh playing board games or reading has nothing to do with 11yo playing out at 9.30pm.

The OP is talking about one occasion when a group was noisy. At 9.30~10.00pm, this wouldn't be an issue for me if it wasn't a regular occurence.
I'm more disturbed by the fact the OP is taking her experience as a child to be 'what was the norm' when it probably hasn't been for everyone, xbox or not. And then sort of expecting everyone else to do the same .

It also has nothing to do with the fact that it is or not OK for these children to be out at 10.00pm. What they do once inside is another issue imo.

There is a happy medium with all sorts of aspects of parenting.

Children can have some fizzy drinks without 'drinking nothing but coke9.
Children can play outside until a reasonable time without being 'feral yobs that cause havoc until midnight'.
Children can play on a PS3/Xboz/iPad without being a brain-dead zombie that does nothing but play computer games.
Children can eat some junk food whilst still enjoying and getting to eat lots of home cooked and healthy food.
Children can do some after school activities without 'spending their entire lives being ferried from one activity to another'.

The main problem is that MNers often argue from one extreme viewpoint against another.

Sorry xpost again.

To reply to your OP - yes, of course there's a balance.
Like with virtually all aspects of parenting. Also, what works for one family's lifestyle doesn't work for another. Nor does what works for one child in a family necessarily work for all dc in the same family.

However, I'd be interested when exactly you think this was a 'thing'.

I suppose I'm thinking back a few years when it was quite common for families to play cards or scrabble or somesuch before bed on Summer evenings after they'd finished playing outside

I'm a child of the 60s and 70s and board games were reserved for Christmas and rainy holidays in caravans even then.

Also, I am talking about my own experience with 2 dcs who are always, absolutely always on the go.

Yes they do read. Yes we can sit down to do some games (but not at home...). Yes they will some 'quiet' times. But give them the choice between a game of football and a board game, I can promise you that they WILL chose a sport activity every single time.
That was my point about having children with different temperament, different tastes. Not all of them will be happy with 'quiet time' inside (Mines run around, even aged 12yo, in the house instead....).

That's why I was asking, are your children really chosing a board game with mum to a game of football with friends. Because mines wouldn't.

And having said all that, I still ask them to be in bed before 9.00pm, I still ask them to keep noise to an acceptable level. I still ask them to be considerate to the neighbourgs.
But I will be laughing at anyone suggesting they should be inside playing board games instead. Because, at least with my dcs, they won't.

I grew up in the sixties and seventies and we had to be in at a reasonable time in the evenings. We often played card games, particularly if my granny was there, or ludo or monopoly. Not ever night of course, but I don't think that's what the OP was saying. It's the attitude of some people nowadays that we should all be glad that their children are out tearing around until all hours because otherwise they'd just be inside playing computer games.
OP was pointing out that there are lots of things kids can do at home other that staring at an x box, and just gave some examples.
Reading was a regular night time activity in our house.

Of course they'll choose to be still outside maman. But that doesn't mean they get their way. We knew we had to come in at whatever time, and then we did other things in the house. Not as exciting as out playing chasing and hide and seek with our friends, but we understood that it was late and we had to be at home.

Maman I don't think anyone's saying they'll be happier inside playing cards or reading. My kids would stay out until midnight if I let them. But I don't because it's inconsiderate, and when they're at home I don't let them just sit on the x box until bedtime.

Which is the point the OP was making (sigh)