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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

mother is selling my grandads (her step dads) sporting trophies and medals - I'm hearbroken

22 replies

ghjcf467 · 14/06/2015 21:29

My father died several years ago and no will between them so my mum received everything. My grandad was a very successful athlete and has a collection of trophy, achievements and medals. I used to love looking at them and both himself and dad were very proud of them. They are not worth a lot individually but sold together and a few of them are apparently reasonably valuable. Mum has announced that she is fed up of dust collectors, junk and useless objects in the house so they will be sold. I wouldn't mind if she needed the money but she owns the house outright and has a pension of about 19k a year plus all the state pension.

I really thought I would inherit them one day and pass on the story's so I'm heartbroken.

OP posts:

lunar1 · 14/06/2015 21:31

Have you tried telling her what they mean to you?

CalleighDoodle · 14/06/2015 21:31

Why not ask her for them?

Gumps · 14/06/2015 21:31

Have you actually told her that you would like them and your reasons why?

Smartiepants79 · 14/06/2015 21:34

I agree, have you asked for them? You could even offer to pay her for them if she thinks they're worth anything.
I'm a bit surprised they're worth much.

Original poster

ghjcf467 · 14/06/2015 21:35

Yes I've tried, I can't have them at the moment as in a cramped tiny rented accommodation, but I've asked her to keep hold of them and thnk about all the joy they can bring my children talking about them. I'm not sure if she's being obtuse but she can't seem to grasp my connection with them.

As you may of guessed we have a rocky relationship

OP posts:

Bathsheba · 14/06/2015 21:37

Go round, with a box, put them in it.

Say "dust problem solved"

Cover the box in a scarf and you have a new occasional table in the tiny flat until you move somewhere bigger.

cozietoesie · 14/06/2015 21:43

Have you sufficient funds to buy them from her at an auctioneer's valuation? (The storage could be managed if you have a relative or acquaintance who can put a box in their loft or similar.)

Gumps · 14/06/2015 22:03

if I were you I would just take them now and find somewhere for them or ask a friend to look after them. She is completely being unreasonable but I know that if I decide to get rid of something I get impatient and want it gone straight away.
YAB a bit U if you want them but don't want to take them if that makes sense.

cozietoesie · 14/06/2015 22:13

I suspect that if you offer to buy them from her at value - 'for the kids' - and then turn up with a box to take them, she'll actually let you have them. It's worth a try anyway.

HeadDreamer · 14/06/2015 22:17

I completely understand where she's from because I personally hate clutter.

If she's not after money, she will probably let you take it off her hands for free. YABU to think she should keep them. It's important to you and your dad, but not her.

nooka · 14/06/2015 22:39

I'd not want to keep things in my house that I didn't value and I don't think it's very reasonable of the OP to expect her mum to keep things that she has no connection to/feels are junk or clutter. On the other hand I think it would be unreasonable for mother not to give them to the OP as she does want and value them.

PurpleSwift · 14/06/2015 22:43

Ask for them. Day you'll keep them.

ILovedYouYesterday · 14/06/2015 22:48

I can understand you being upset about this but I can also completely understand why she doesn't want them and I think you are being a bit u to expect her to keep them for however long it takes you to get space for them.

I think you should ask her for them and find somewhere to store them.

DoJo · 14/06/2015 23:04

I, too, can see both sides. You say:

I wouldn't mind if she needed the money but she owns the house outright and has a pension of about 19k a year plus all the state pension.

But that's not why she's selling them - she doesn't have the sentimental attachment you do to them, evidently, and she just sees them as dust collectors. If you really love them that much, then I'm sure you can find space for them in your flat, pay for storage or even ask a generous friend to store them for you until you can accommodate them yourself.

Only1scoop · 14/06/2015 23:06

Just ask her if you can have them and put them in storage.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 14/06/2015 23:08

I think if you want them then you need to take them off her hands now. I don't think it's reasonable to expect her to store it all indefinately for you.

gamerchick · 14/06/2015 23:11

Yep If you want them then you'll have to take them off her hands, whether for money or not and find the room for them.

Italiangreyhound · 14/06/2015 23:13

Ask for them and do the box thing Bathsheba said.

Good luck.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/06/2015 23:18

There are far too many nice people on here - you're all thinking what a normal, nice person would do.

I'd bet money she wants the money/doesn't trust or want the OP to have them in case she sells them.

And she sounds awful

Theycallmemellowjello · 15/06/2015 06:50

Well it's not a crime for her to want the money. Op will have to buy them in that case.

FenellaFellorick · 15/06/2015 06:59

I think you probably have to choose - let them go or find a corner to keep them in.

So her income is about 480 a week? ish.

That's really not a massive amount and it isn't impossible that she needs some cash. Perhaps getting rid of clutter is an excuse.

Anyway, rightly or wrongly, she's getting rid and you can't force her not to so you have to choose. Ask for them/offer to buy them or accept that they're gone.

I'm sorry that she doesn't see how much they mean to you.

Worst case scenario - take lots of photos of them.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/06/2015 07:00

I agree - if you want them, you're going to have to take them now, regardless of how little space you have for them.

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