To tell him to stfu

[dizzydaffodil]

Ewwww, person at the next table in the cafe is giving a graphic description of how he cut out his verrucas, the death stare isn't working. Gross.

Sound the klaxon :)

Start explaining loudly about how you treat your vaginal thrush with natural yoghurt.

Then order some natural yoghurt.

Ask him if he brought it in to show everyone!

Oh ffs that's bloody rank

He's gone, I accidentally trod on his foot on my way to order though ;)

Why not start a nice chat about episiotomys and birth poos.

At least you weren't sharing a table

Haha, I thought that too :)

There are some gross people about. Went out for lunch yesterday and the old goat at the next table began telling one of his companions how only prostitutes wore effing ankle bracelets back in the day. The woman in question was wearing one herself and loudly replied that she was &at. Hooker , just a good fucker!
Charming.