To be annoyed at dance school?

[flixybelle]

My dh has taken our dd(aged 5) to her 'photo call' for the summer show . Expecting to drop her off and come home, however when he arrived they said he had to stay. No big deal, we should've double checked. Except he has been told that although he is must stay he isn't allowed in the building because he is male! All the other parents are mums and are staying to help get their children changed(multiple costumes) but my dh has been told he's not allowed.
My dh is a primary school teacher therefore DBS cleared not that any of the mums have been asked to produce a DBS before entering the building. My dh always does the dance drop off so and knows the staff far better than I do. My dd is now the only child whose parent is not in with her. AIBU to think this is a stupid rule and that if it was an issue the dance school should have told us before hand and I would have taken dd.

Deewee that was why I asked about the nature of the show further down. Even so, if they all changed in the hall with parents in tow it doesn't sound as if was the protocol behind it.

Have you shown them this thread Flixy?

I don't see how it's a safeguarding issue - he wouldn't have been alone with any of the children and the mums were not DBS checked or if they were they hadn't shown them to the staff.

I don't see how it's a dignity issue either given the ages of the children and the fact that there were boys and girls in the same room.

The op said this wasn't the show itself it was the photo all (everyone gets their photo taken by a professional photographer in each costume/group they are doing & they are then sold to parents)

Total discrimination.

Usually hsppens about a week before the actual show in most dance schools.

I think the chaperoning regulations only apply if the children are actually performing and have had a license issued.

Insisting that fathers stay with their children but can't come in the building is nonsensical anyway - even if they can't go in the changing room they should be able to wait somewhere else.

I was going to say something similar to DeeWe in regard to dance chaperoning - our dance school are very strict who gets in to the changing rooms. It's a big changing room for the majority of the girls (some of whom would be older than the age range you have come up against today) and no males are allowed.

Did they have any chaperones available for the children who would be without their parents (ie yours?). When I've chaperoned at shows, def no males in the main changing area and I wasn't even allowed to take my own daughter in on the night I had a ticket to watch the show and wasn't an official chaperone (as I was every other night!) Some dance schools are very strict!

I would say it depends on the age of the girls changing. Also a DBS only covers a person for the venue that required it in the first place, such as the school.

It doesn't sound like the type of set up where chaperones would be required. If they had had chaperones they would be acting in loco parentis so no need for parent to stay.

The girls were all seven or under.

The DBS is irrelevant as the mums didn't have them.

Either children can be left or somewhere needs to be available for parents (including single dads) to wait

For chaperoning you can use an existing DBS for extra adult supervisors. However there also has to be a licensed chaperone on hand in the correct ratio, to oversee any DBS checked adults, remain with the children and do toilet runs etc.

Thank you for all the responses. I am glad the majority think its a stupid policy. Like I said earlier if it was a separate dressing room and only a few helpers that wold have been no problem and I understand that older girls (and boys) may be self conscious and thats entirely understandable and IMO limiting the number of adults is for the best but it wasn't like that.
It wasn't the show it was just photos, but every child was supposed to have a parent with them to help them get changed as they are only little. This is the first year we have done a show so had no idea of the 'rules' a mum I know through school helped my dd as she was struggling getting changed by herself (only just 5 and a big costume.) It was only the infant class no one older than 7 there. Apparently another dad was asked to leave as well.

As I said DH is a primary school teacher and all his class change together for PE and he is not allowed to leave the room, so I am baffled how helping his daughter get changed is any different.
He would have taken her to another room (personally I think this is also unnecessary) but wasn't allowed just told to drop her off. dd was upset as untl I got there she was the only one by herself and there was a long wait until her photo was taken. If I hadn't have gone there she would have been left on her own.

Seriously unimpressed I have challenged the photos as was told that wasn't allowed but no one said anything when mums were blatantly taking photos.
My dh is a really 'hands on' (I hate that phrase) and we parent 50/50 and this is the first time we have faced an issue like this and it really annoyed me.

This is not just stupid, it's unlawful. I suggest you refer them to the Equality Act 2010 and advise them to consult the Equal Opportunities Commission.