to ask what your DC's most outrageous strategy is for not going to bed?

[buffythemuffinslayer]

DS is 4, and has recently mastered the art of trying to pull the wool over my eyes.

So far this evening he has needed a poo twice (no poo has happened), had too many toys in his bed)(he put them there, not the toy fairy) and SPIDERMAN has told him that it is in fact not bed time, it's Web time. Also, that the rain said it was morning, apparently with great urgency.

I mean, good use of rhyme, but seriously?

Every night it's the same - increasingly fantastical and convoluted excuses not to sleep. I can still hear him pottering about.

Do other DC's do this? And yes, I am having a glass of for the old nerves...

"Bo (bear) keeps messing about!". Last time DD told me that I said very sternly that if Bo kept messing about then he would have to go back in the toybox. DD said "yes!" and handed him over so gratefully that I was left wondering if Bo really had been messing about or what...

My 4yo also likes to try the "I need a poo" trick and spends the time on the toilet giggling to herself or making up conversations between her my little pony toys. She also likes to offer help or ask for the hot chocolate she was offered and said no to 2 hours before bedtime

10 yo DS has been sitting on the toilet for the past 40 minutes. And he needs to take a shower as well.

I love these - thank you all!

DS' record for a non-poo is half an hour. Once I went to make a coffee and he had fallen asleep in situ.

Woke up while I was carrying him to bed though... for another hour of shenanigans.

Hearts "I'm too tired to sleep"

I love it!

Going out to Tiger Tiger until 3am.

My dd tried a new one tonight... She wanted to read Gardeners' World Magazine.

She's not yet 3.

DD (6.5) decided one night a 'wolf-thing' was going to jump out of her mirror and get her. Cue hysterial (no tears) sobbing and dramatic thrashing.

The offending mirror had to be removed immediately.

DS regularly says "I need something!" What? "I forgotten!".

We set a 2 minute timer for poo. Any longer than that and he can wait. Very very occasionally he wakes at 5 and is genuinely awake and his bowels have woken up, therefore, but basically if they are asleep (at his age - 3) their bowels should be asleep, barring illness.

He is allowed to remind us that he hasn't got muslin, 1 current favourite toy (but he has to accept an alternative as after we lost the favourite toy ever he is fickle and leaves them everywhere including nursery), water, and he is allowed to have one covering up.

He isn't allowed to complain that it's dark as there is always a standard combination of landing lights left on to make it light enough for him and dark enough for 1yo DD. He's never actually tried complaining that he's hungry.

Beyond that it's "DS shush shush" ad nauseam. Seems to work. Only intervention is if he tries to sleep on the floor by the door in which case it's "DS back in bed" on repeat. Occasionally he stealth-sleeps-on-the-floor and we have to move him after he's asleep.

I've also had "my toenails are snagging my duvet so I can't sleep". And endless "the cat's drinking my water" which, tbf, was normally true. We now have a special cat-repellent coaster to sit on top of DS's water glass.

Smallspawn is three his favourite tactic is the stealth creep to sit on the middle step of the stairs. He's really good at that. Unfortunately he's a habitual hummer so he gives himself away with a badly out of key rendition of whatever his latest favourite song is. Then he acts offended that he's been caught. Return to bed, rinse and repeat.

A recurrent plea of "Mum, I NEED you".

How can I leave him after that?! He's 3.5. (Erm, I still do though- otherwise I would never get out of there- after a big hug and lots of kisses but I still feel bad.)

Going out to Tiger Tiger until 3 am

Crying at this!

When DD started reception, she was exhausted but too wired to go to sleep. She'd lie in her bed sobbing "my sleep has got lost".