To miss good sex? (A bit tmi)

[Justwondering321]

I know this would be better placed on the relationships board, but feel that things might have got a bit quiet on there lately due to recent troll issues.. rolls eyes
I've been with my dp for 2 and a half years, talked about possibly getting married next year .. Sex was pretty fantastic in the first 6 months or so but then started to peter out a bit.. I do have a few insecurities but feel these are getting better with time - however I can't help but miss amazing sex , I mean the passionate kissing - can't wait to get clothes off type stuff.. Since I moved in with him sex is quite routine like everything else (sounds bad to say) .
Last night we were watching TV and a sex scene came on.. It was pretty steamy to say the least and I think we both felt awkward ... I ended up storming off upstairs which made me look like a total idiot!! I'm actually dreading him coming home cos I still feel embarrassed :-/ I think I just felt a bit sad in the moment that I'd probably never have that type of sex again. He came upstairs and asked if he'd done anything wrong. I just said I don't like unrealistic romantic stuff on TV and would rather watch something else.
tmi bit, if you'd prefer not to read then stop now
I think what got me the most was that the scene involved a couple having sex in a toilet cubicle (nice eh?) and 6 or so months into us being together he admitted he was once given a bj in a toilet once in a nightclub (nice again eh?) is this a normal thing to relay to your new gf??? And I think it just made me remember the slight hurt and confusion I felt when he told me that. To be honest I wasn't sure how to react..,
Sorry, for the rant and the tmi.
X

If I try to talk to him about things I get shouted at, which I find really frustrating

This is your problem ^ not a sex scene on telly, or the fact that the initial spark has dulled.
You have been together 2 years. You should be able to discuss sex, he should know how you feel about his past, he should know about yours. I can't believe you are considering getting married to someone you can't talk openly to.
Stop being so hard on yourself. If it's not working out its not necessarily your fault and you certainly don't sound mental at all!!

Having been in your situation, being rejected sexually by a partner who i'd previously had an excellent, exciting sex life with, i wouldn't don the heels. No woman should have to try that hard to make a mant want to have sex, it hust makes you feel shitty about yourself. I spoke to him about it again and again. It was his issue, not mine, but i was the one that felt bad. My partner also made me feel like i was mental when we went out.He fell in love with one girl, outgoing, sociable and filthy in the bedroom, but when the honeymoon period was over, he wanted me to be someone else. Like his partner should be more respectable. Madonna/whore complex.

I'd get out for your own sanity. My head was wrecked after that relationship.

op, I think you will get lots more helpful replies like you have already if you ask to have this moved to the Relationships section

not sure this is a sex problem, at source

I don't think it is odd to casually mention a previous sexual encounter (possibly with some anonymity about the exact specifics of the partner for their privacy) to a newer long term lover, if it is only occasional and came up naturally in conversation (rather than bragging or unfavourably comparing).
However, I also think it is fairly common (but not universal) for a new partner to not want to hear about such things and to then discuss that when it comes up and agree not to mention such encounters in future if the new partner finds it distressing to hear about them.

With regard to your TV outburst, YABU, you need to actually tell him if you are missing 'the spark' and put some effort into initiating it again yourself, not putting up further barriers between you by walking off and then refusing to actually tell him what was wrong.

Sorry, I probably am sounding childish.. And the make up and heels thing is a bad idea (although he is a very visual person and has often commented on the suspenders and heels thing, and was into porn before he met me) maybe I need some counselling as when I read my posts back I can't believe how I sound. But not being able to talk and be open with your partner leads you to feelings of desperation- which I think come across as childish.
Maybe this is turning into an EA thing?

Thanks improbablebee you sound like a supportive type of person. Maybe just get off advice forums, eh?

Agree with pp it sounds like the madonna/whore complex thing and if it is he won't change.

Dont marry a man you can have an honest conversation with no matter what the subject matter. Who knows what might come up in your married life together? Do you want kids? most couples sex lives change after kids (at least temporarily) do you want to be with a man you can't talk to about that?

Actually - why the fuck did I bother!?

Can't' have an honest conversation with. Oops

OP, you're in the wrong topic, start again in Relationships. This is not a sex problem, this is a man problem. He sounds horrible.

You are getting lots of strange replies, where posters are taking things on a very superficial level. IMO.

Sorry for getting angry.
Will delete the thread as soon as I figure out how.. :-/

You're welcome, OP. If you only want people to support your childish behaviour and say the things you want to hear, maybe try talking exclusively to yourself..?

You can't delete OP, just start again elsewhere.

Bee is to be found being a bit of a goady fucker on other threads. Take no notice.

Bee don't try so hard, it's cringe-inducing.

embarassing