AIBU to think this wedding idea would work?

[ItsMeImHere]

Basically, DP and I would love to get married but cannot afford anything 'special'.

As he has a stupidly large family and extended circles of friends and close colleagues, to make sure everyone is a part of not so much our big day, we will need a bash of some description.

Looking locally, there are a couple of venues that would be suitable for the 200 people he wants needs to invite. They mostly provide ceremony and meal, disco and buffet with various extras of cakes, seat covers etc. The packages they provide cost upward of £5000 for the most basic. I actually don't think that these are terrible prices, but not ones I am comfortable with paying.

So I have an idea that I think could work, but DP thinks I am being unreasonable to entertain such a silly notion.

Most of the venues, and one I like in particular, do room hire for conferences, day events etc at £250 for 8am-12am. Supposing we did the marriage registration as bog standard at the registry office for £46, just us and a couple of witnesses, then go and decorate the 'conference' room, invite guests to our 'wedding' at 2pm and have my DPs father conduct a ceremony. Photos by friends and family (on smartphones etc) around 3pm, external catering for a meal at 4pm and self cater music and an evening buffet. The private bar is available to be open on the day event price. This should all work out at less than £1000, everyone witnesses our marriage sort of , we actually get married and have a nice day.

The problem is DP thinks it is 'lying' to the venue about the hire, and that they won't allow external catering, all the while we are 'tricking' his friends and family.

Is it really so unreasonable to believe it could be pulled off?

The venue will not allow outside caterers and will not hire the conference room to you under those circumstances. I ran a number of hotels and always worked with the brides and grooms to ensure they had a good day that met their budget. Have a chat with the venue, however if they are a 'wedding venue' they won't move much on pricing. Its their core business. They may reduce if you go for a Monday - Wednesday date.
£1000 gives a £5 per head, which realistic will get you a finger buffet ( think chicken strips, potato wedges, etc)
Best thing to do is as others have suggested. Look for a nice Village Hall and get family and friends to help with the catering or do a BBQ.

Hurrah, that's worked out really well for you then Itsme - excellent! Far better to be up front and sounds like you've caught a great deal from them!

Congratulations and hope it all goes really well. :)

Petra have you read the update from the op? Obvioulsy not.

It sounds lovely and much nicer than I was imagining the conference room when I read your op. Was imagining a stark room in a budget hotel or something!

Off topic...don't skimp on photos! Friend found it really upsetting trying to get everyone to upload their photos as she thought she would save by not having photo.

Didn't get any significant groupings either which upset her.

if you know any bands that is a great compromise to a DJ.

My SIL and brother knew a band who busked in Bath and they paid them to come in, they were fab (and sold if asked a CD afterwards) they also had a Latin American band whom I think SIL's DB knew.

I am a wedding planner for a hotel. This won't work at all. For a number of reasons, especially the lying part & the external catering. Honestly think about it. you want a beautiful venue but I DIY wedding. Be realistic if you can't afford the Wedding in the hotel there are lots of other/cheaper options available.

Lady mary, you haven't read the thread. It's a bowling club not a hotrl and the op has agreed it all with them with a relative doing the catering.

Go abroad just the two of you. A wedding is not a marriage. If you really want to, have a big party with DJ and a buffet when you get back. Good luck