Distressed child in public

[Lovemydogs2015]

Ok, so this is more a "what would you do" but I was in a situation yesterday where I was genuinely unsure of what to do for the best.

I was walking through a covered shopping arcade on my way back to the office at lunchtime with a colleague.

There was a child of 3-4 standing in the middle of the arcade crying. I heard the voice of an adult sounding like they were talking to the child and without looking up, I assumed that it was the child's mother just soothing him and trying to get hm to walk along.

I then realised they I could see nobody close to the child, and I couldn't immediately see anyone within 10-15 meters who could be a parent and so I began to wonder of the child was in fact lost. He was crying quite a bit, and nobody else walking by seemed concerned. I didn't hear the voice again and so it could easily have been at that stage that I heard an entirely different parent talking to her child.

NOW. I am not a parent and I am not naturally the most relaxed around young children I don't really know (as an aside, I joined this site to learn more so I could be supportive to my brother and sister in law when they started their family).

On the one hand, I couldn't walk by. If he was lost, he would be vulnerable and I couldn't live with myself if something happened.

On the other hand, I didn't want to approach a child crying in the street whose mother as in all likelihood just out of sight. I thought it may distress the child more, and upset the mother who for all I knew was standing a safe distance away to try and get the child to walk to her (and of course, it is not my place to say whether that was right or not, it really isn't).

My colleague wasn't bothered.

What I actually did was send my colleague back to the office as I pretended I needed to make a phone call, and then stood pretending to look at my phone a distance from the boy to keep an eye on him.

I saw a woman come up to him, talk to him warmly, with the same voice I had heard before and he took her hand easily and so I am satisfied he is safe and with the right person.

BUT I did feel really awkward at the time and I really felt that I would not have been comfortable approaching the child myself because I was worried that this would have been seen as sinister by any parent waiting in the wings.

How would you have reacted if a stranger to you had approached your child in those circumstances? When would it be ok?

As a mother I would have approached the child to ask if they'd lost their mother. I'd explain that I have children and that we have an agreement that if they ever lose me in a shop that they stay where they are and call my name. I would then ask if they would like me to wait with them. If time goes by and the situation hasn't resolved, I'd then suggest we should perhaps get a police man or shop assistant to help us.

It must be awkward for those not used to speaking to children though. When one of my DCs was a newborn, I forgot I had a baby. I only remembered four and a half hours later when one of the others asked where he was. He was in the manager's office in IKEA with a bunch of ladies coo-ing over him. I was ashamed / mortified / . . . They just laughed and said I wasn't the first. I was deeply grateful for their kindness to both me and DS.

I found a little boy when I was Christmas shopping once. It was the Saturday before Christmas the the streets were very very crowded. He was crying and clearly lost.... NO ONE was paying him any attention.

I spoke to him, established that he was 3 and that he was lost then took him to the nearest shop where the manager phoned the police.

I stayed with him and 15 minutes later his mum turned up along with the police. She'd lost him in the crowds and panicking had approached a police officer who'd called it in. When the shop managers call came through it was thankfully matched up pretty quickly.

Altogether they'd been separated for almost 40 minutes. She was hysterical. Now I have children of my own I understand why.

I was 22 then and had no children but I couldn't just leave him. Now I think I'd always approach a crying child

I was in schipol airport and came across a boy who was on his own about the same age wailing his eyes out, I was on my honeymoon so I didn't have my son with me and felt quite maternal maybe. I stood with him and tried to cheer him up until his mom appeared who was greatful that he was ok and gave me a hug.

I'm the worst person ever with other people's kids even though I have my own but I stepped up that day for some reason! My husband wasn't happy as he was waiting nearby for me and thought I had been kidnapped

I don't think James budget is relevant here. If I saw a young child with two older ones I'd assume he was with an older sibling.

Thanks for the feedback. I do appreciate the views of parents. I am glad I didn't walk away and I will be less wary about asking if the child is ok after a time if it happens again.