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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS came home from nursery sunburnt to f**k. AIBU?

187 replies

MamaBear89 · 12/06/2015 00:01

Hi there. Long time lurker, first time poster.
Yesterday, my son went to nursery. I dropped him off around 8am and went to pick him up at 5:30 as usual.
When I went to pick him up I immediately noticed he was heavily sunburned.
I coat him in factor 50 when I dress him in the morning, and (as per the nursery's rules) I send my son in with a sun hat and a bottle of sun lotion.
The woman working at the time said "oh, I don't know how he got that burned as it's been really cloudy, and so we haven't bothered applying lotion".
Not only that, but for the final hour/90 minutes of the nursery day, during which my son was inside, the nursery worker admitted that they had "watched his burn get worse and worse". Obviously, as with any burn, sunburn will continue to burn and needs immediate cooling and treatment, but this was not given.
My son was so severely burned that he's had a raging fever for the last 24 hours, is in pain with his burns, and is suffering from sunstroke. He's miserable and cuddly and very grumpy, which is understandable.
I'm absolutely livid. My son loves nursery, though, and is due to stay there until he starts nursery at the local primary in September. It would break his heart if I just pulled him out until September, so I don't want to just pull him out and be done with them, but I'm absolutely livid at the sheer negligence they've shown.

My intention is to inform the nursery that I'll be making a complaint to the LEA and then following through with this.

AIBU by being so angry? Or would you agree it's justified?
And AIBU by taking the complaint to higher authorities, or should I just let the nursery deal with it?

Any input would be greatly appreciated

OP posts:
Zebda · 12/06/2015 00:23

Its is awful and the staff need educating on UV rays in cloudy conditions. I would escalate to the head of the nursery.

Picking up on the all day lotions comments though, you should look at Ultrasun - available in waitrose/M&S and Amazon/various online vendors. Its paraben free, completely hyperallergenic and genuinely a single once a day application. My DC have extremely sensitive skin/excema etc and this is the only lotion that hasnt irritated them. It really works and they are pale as anything and have never burned with it, even on the beach. Unfortunately its not cheap, but well worth it for no rash, no burn and once a day application.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 12/06/2015 00:23

requested over the nursery who clearly failed to do what was required Sock

I didn't actually mean it like that I'm on the phone at the same time so not paying as much attention as I normally do to posting.

WanderWomble · 12/06/2015 00:24

I'd try to get him in the doctors in the morning to start a paper trail/get a third party involved. Poor little man.

DixieNormas · 12/06/2015 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coolaschmoola · 12/06/2015 00:26

'Ultimately sun protection is something that you cannot rely on someone else to do...'

Erm when you are paying someone to CARE for your child that's exactly what you ARE relying on them to do! How far does that argument stretch? Blistered nappy rash from sitting in a dirty nappy for twenty minutes because the staff have other children to look after? Please.

Nursery staff are paid to look after children. Sun protection is part of that. It's not hard to make sure every child is creamed before taking them outside. At the nursery dd goes to no cream, no hat - they stay in.

I don't know where you get the notion that nurseries don't allow parents to provide cream. Due to allergies and skin conditions it's much more sensible for parents to provide one of their choosing. I've never heard of nurseries not allowing this.

WorraLiberty · 12/06/2015 00:27

The OP has done everything required of her.

OP, from now on I think you need to put any further complaint in writing and request that they reply in writing.

You may well need to take this further and therefore, you'll need the evidence....rather than 'I said/they said', if that makes sense?

FreudiansSlipper · 12/06/2015 00:28

Poor little thing his arms look really sore hope is feeling better very soon

Yanbu at all you must get a meeting with the manager the staff have been neglectful and this has to be addressed

Original poster
MamaBear89 · 12/06/2015 00:28

I took DS to the doctor this morning to be checked over after he had a rough night last night after the incident. The doctor was horrified and said that had we bought him in like that and given the excuse "we let him outside with no suncream", we'd be looking at a referral to children's services for neglect!

I've stewed over this all day, and genuinely cannot think of a way to approach this without me losing my rag with them. Especially not as I've been informed by my GP that something like this more than doubles my son's risk of skin cancer in later life etc.
I've always protected DS from the elements, and I'd be horrified if I had allowed this to happen, but I'm both angry at myself now for trusting the nursery, and the nursery for the state he's come home in.

I keep thinking I'm overreacting, but then he wakes up again crying and pouring with sweat, radiating heat, and I think that I'm perfectly justified in my anger.

DS has only been with the nursery for 3 months, but it's not the first time I have been upset with them. Previously he suffered a bout of diarrhoea, but nobody contacted me and they just changed him and let him carry on with the day, when I was under the impression he should be sent home both for his own good and to prevent other children being infected

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaBear89 · 12/06/2015 00:32

Also, I'm not sure how far I will get with a complaint direct to the nursery, as one of the supervisors was in the room whilst I was talking to the nursery worker about his sunburn, and she completely ignored the conversation and avoided getting involved, whereas if I had just seen that the neglect of one of my staff had caused a child to burn, I would be apologising my pants off!

OP posts:
IceBeing · 12/06/2015 00:35

Not surprised about the skin cancer warning. That was the source of my second hand ire. How DARE they permanently harm your child in that way then shrug it off?

Ofsted, then maybe one of the personal injury lawyers you hear so much about....

Original poster
MamaBear89 · 12/06/2015 00:43

Honestly, I'm not after compo of any sort, but I want documented procedure put in place to ensure they have records of suncream application, and also for the staff to receive refresher training with regards to first aid and burns.

OP posts:
ASAS · 12/06/2015 00:58

Tbh the first thing I thought was if you took him into nursery which such severe burns they'd have a duty of care to contact SS. I cannot believe how badly burned he is, poor soul. Makes me wonder what else they aren't bothering with, such as hand washing hygiene etc. Who the hell would watch a child burn like this though?! Feeling rage for you.

ChablisTyrant · 12/06/2015 01:05

This is a matter for Ofsted. You need to call them.

mmgirish · 12/06/2015 01:06

Wow. I would be very angry if this was my son!

Suefla62 · 12/06/2015 01:14

That's awful. If it ever should happen again put aloe gel on him, or in an emergency you can use plain yogurt, it will help take away the pain. (I live in Florida and I'm afraid we have the odd guest who under estimates the power of the sun).

Want2bSupermum · 12/06/2015 01:19

It's neglect and yes I'd be furious. It's great you went to the doctor. Heat stroke in young children is very serious.

I would be reporting to Ofsted and would remove him from the facility with immediate effect.

Gruntfuttock · 12/06/2015 01:21

That's outrageous and so worrying given the possible long-term after effects, let alone the current pain your son is in. Would I be right in thinking that there must have been other children affected at the nursery?

AcrossthePond55 · 12/06/2015 01:28

I grew up in a sunny clime and one of the things we learn early is that you can still get sunburned on a 'cloudy day' if it's at all warm. Most weather sites these days include a UV index forecast. The nursery should know this and be checking it before the children go out to play.

If you don't feel you can discuss it calmly, write a letter outlining the situation and request a response telling you what the nursery is going to do to prevent this happening again.

Poor little mite. I second a PP's suggestion of Aloe Vera Gel. Also, paracetamol, and bathing in tepid water in which tea bags have been steeped can help take the sting away. As a last resort, there are creams & sprays with a topical anesthetic you can apply at bedtime to help him get to sleep.

Atenco · 12/06/2015 03:38

Dreadful neglect on the part of the nursery, but just wanted to mention two things:

  1. milk of magnesia applies topically is brilliant for easing sunburn

  2. I read an article the other day questioning the need for sunblock and the idea that sun causes skin cancer, although it was just one article, I cannot link to it and couldn't swear it was from a good source, though I think it was.

Stubbed · 12/06/2015 03:48

Terrible, I would furious. I think the major concern is 'we just watched it get worse and worse'. Why not put the child indoors, keep them cool and give them drinks once they noticed?
Surely other children were packed too?
I would complain to ofsted.

Tangofandango · 12/06/2015 04:04

If he is still waking up hot and sweating you need to draw the heat from his body. The best way is to soak a couple of towels in cool water, wring them out, wrap him completely from head to foot in them and keep him like that for as long as you can. It will draw the heat away from his body.

This is how they deal with sunstroke in the tropics, and I know it works as I've used this method myself.

Hope your son feels better soon.

Mistigri · 12/06/2015 05:14

Obviously the nursery is entirely at fault for not following their own procedures, and you definitely need to make a formal complaint. What's shocking isn't so much that a mistake was made with the suncream - this is bad, but mistakes do sometimes happen - but their failure to recognise and react once they realised they had screwed up!

If you struggle to trust them with suncream in future, do look at some of the hypoallergenic all day suncreams - in my experience (blond kids growing up in hot country) they really do provide all day protection.

Cassie258 · 12/06/2015 06:36

He doesn't look badly burnt enough to be getting sunstroke etc tho?

Dd has come home as red as he is in the back of the neck yesterday and I am quite pissed off. If her arms looked like that I would be complaining.

From your posts I have deduced the following

1)the nursery staff are absolute fucking idiots (I haven't seen that uV levels are high so expect they haven't but I think everyone knows you can burn when it's cloudy)

  1. the manager is a fucking coward. If she heard the conversation she should have walked over and dealt with it. That's why she's the manager. (This means she knows she has done wrong and will be spending all night finding a way to get out of it)

Ofsted and lea need to be called. Nursery needs to be called today and the whole staff need to be trained on sun protection.

Cassie258 · 12/06/2015 06:37

Were any other children burnt?

They should have called you and put Sudocrem on him or something. Why didn't they?

contractor6 · 12/06/2015 06:39

Hi mama bear, hope the lo is starting to feel better, sunstroke is awful thing to have, worse than pain of sunburn imo. Ps yanbu.

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