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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Beach trip

16 replies

Beachtrip · 11/06/2015 09:14

Genuinely not sure if I'm actually being unreasonable to be annoyed by this but it has really pissed me off.

H is one of those people who is never in a rush to do anything. Never wants to arrange anything, everything is 'don't worry' and if you have a time to leave say 10am, then he wil start getting ready at 9.45 and make you 30 mins late.

We are on holiday, and today the baby woke me early (9month old woke me at 5.15). Small cabin, 3 year old asleep in other room so I took baby to the beach for all of 10 mins and then back for breakfast and nap. He napped at 7.30.
H gave dd breakfast at 7.30 and himself and then seems to have gotten ready and out the door to the beach by 8.30. The closing of the chalet door woke baby and myself as I was napping too.

I tried calling H several times, eventually he answered saying yes they are at the beach and don't know how long they will be. That he could come back and get us (beach is a 4min drive away) but he thinks it's best that I amuse us and they will come back when they are ready. At which point dd will want a nap and then this afternoon we can all do things onsite (swimming or mini golf etc).

I'm annoyed because I had clearly stated yesterday and today that I wanted to go to the beach today. And he said no as we went yesterday. Today has the best weather of the whole week. And I am now stuck in th chalet with a grumpy baby. Instead of being at the beach as a family.

It compounds it all that he sprang into action organising himself and dd and getting out the door in the hour which has never happened before.
Also offering to come get us and then changing his mind.

So AIBU? I know when he comes back this will kick off into a big row as the slightest hint from me that I am not my 100% happy self will piss him off and he will say I have started a row by feeling annoyed.

OP posts:
DragonWithAGirlTattoo · 11/06/2015 09:18

dont want to jump on the mumsnet hes a bastard etc, but i just picked up on your last comment, he does sound a bit controlling "if i am not happy he will be pissed off and blame me for starting a row"

does this happen a lot?

paxtecum · 11/06/2015 09:20

he's being a knob?
Can you walk to the beach?

MarthaMonkeynuts · 11/06/2015 09:21

If it's a 4 min drive could you walk to the beach?

Original poster
Beachtrip · 11/06/2015 09:25

Beach is about a mile and baby weighs about 10kilo.
Can't walk that far carrying him. Buggy is in the car otherwise I would walk there.
He doesn't understand my emotions at all. it actually often seems as if it is the fact that I am experiencing an emotion that annoys him. Rather then the actual issue that caused the feeling, make sense?

But either way, I feel like we should be there as a family instead of me being stuck here entertaining a baby who basically wants everything he can't have whilst he eats fun and sun at the beach cos he doesn't want to drive there and back again

OP posts:
FinnJuhl · 11/06/2015 09:30

No, please don't kick off. Holidays with a napping baby can be a nightmare. Everyone's out of routine, in a strange place - it's probably no one's fault and you were both acting with good intentions. i totally get that you're fed up with how the day is panning out, so it's good you're venting on here. Don't ruin the holiday for yourself by being in a bad mood if you can help it.

Original poster
Beachtrip · 11/06/2015 09:35

Sorry to drip feed, should have put in first post that his reason for not taking baby today was the wind - which is the same as yesterday except that today is hotter. So it's a crap excuse not to come back. He just can't be bothered.

I don't u set stand why he's doing the thing I want to do, without me, when he said he didn't want to do that

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 11/06/2015 09:36

I also think that it was probably done with the best of intentions and you should just let it go - find something fun to do onsite this morning with the baby you don't need a beach to have a good time and I doubt your husband is having that great a time as a 3 yr old on a beach is hardly a relaxing morning !

Original poster
Beachtrip · 11/06/2015 09:40

I can't lock the chalet as he has the keys so all I can do is sit on the grass with baby who is currently screaming his head off cos he wants to be picked up but he's too heavy for me to hold for long!!

OP posts:
Cantwaittogonholiday · 11/06/2015 09:45

Get a taxi to the beach? And leave chalet looking locked - or see if there's a spare set at reception.

Going out and leaving you trapped there is a little bit thoughtless. But it will probably all seem better after you get to the beach in the afternoon.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 11/06/2015 09:52

Check at reception for spare keys, and get a taxi to the beach. Then make it very clear to him that leaving you without keys and buggy is utterly inconsiderate. What a prat.

FinnJuhl · 11/06/2015 09:52

Yes, getting back from beach with a 3 year old is probably not the easiest thing either. But it was silly of him to take the only keys so think he should probably come back to get you. A set of keys each will save your sanity if you can get hold of any.

stolenview · 11/06/2015 09:54

He's being an idiot

paxtecum · 11/06/2015 11:05

Go to reception, get spare keys and ask about taxis.

TheFlis12345 · 11/06/2015 11:37

Why didn't you just say yes when he said they could come back and get you?

Original poster
Beachtrip · 11/06/2015 12:28

I did say yes. Then he changed his mind saying he didn't want to pack up dd and come back and waste time etc. that I should just entertain the baby.

OP posts:
ItsTricky · 11/06/2015 12:32

Call reception and ask them to bring a spare key. Is there a pool or playground onsite you could use?

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