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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU with inlaws?

24 replies

CurlyWurley · 10/06/2015 23:15

Not sure If I'm being picky/pushy or I should take it further.

Inlaws watch ds 3 afternoons a week after nursery so me and DP can work. We would literally be lost without them. We haven't always seen eye to eye but they are lovely people who adore ds.

But after ds bath last night I noticed his legs had been sunburnt. Not bad but enough to leave obvious lines on his legs where the shorts had stopped. So when dropping ds off this morning I handed in suncream. Yet again tonight his neck is all burnt! It's bothering me more than him.

Problem is DP wants to let it go, not 'rock' the boat with them but I'm furious. I'm so angry that despite handing in suncream my boys burnt and it's not been sneaky sunshine it was mid 20 degrees here today!

Wwyd?

OP posts:

Doingthedo · 10/06/2015 23:16

I'd put all day sun cream on myself in the mornings

Doingthedo · 10/06/2015 23:17

On him, not myself!!

Only1scoop · 10/06/2015 23:19

Send him with it on ready to go and tell them to apply more if needed.

I'd be pretty annoyed

ems1910 · 10/06/2015 23:21

I would make sure I put it on before he went over there and also remind them to top it up during the day if they are going outside. I would also tell them that he you have noticed he has sunburn and how dangerous it could be. They might not realise, sounds really silly I know.

Original poster

CurlyWurley · 10/06/2015 23:23

I do put it on before he goes into nursery but I'm guessing with the afternoon being so hot it's just rubbed off and they haven't re-applied. Slightly worried that nursery might think I've been neglecting him. Can't stand to see kids burnt, just no need for it.

OP posts:

Pico2 · 10/06/2015 23:23

You could get the 12 hour type sunscreen and put it on in the morning.

Quasicrystals1456 · 10/06/2015 23:24

Yes -p20 stuff. It could be the complete solution to this battle.

BackforGood · 10/06/2015 23:25

You probably need to a) already apply some before he leaves, and then say nicely to PiLs that you noticed he'd caught the sun a couple of times this week and that you are a bit paranoid about the damage it can do, so would they mind very much .... then insert if you don't want him out in the sun at certain times or if you don't want him outside for longer than a certain amount of time, or if you are happy as long as they apply sund cream, or whatever it is you feel would be right.

I don't know how old your in-laws are, but most older people see nothing wrong with a white line where shorts have been / ie a slight tanning of the legs. If you do, then you need to explain to them that's one of your absolute no-nos.

WhitePhantom · 10/06/2015 23:26

Could you explain to nursery and all them to top it up before he leaves?

WhitePhantom · 10/06/2015 23:27

Ask them, not all them!

Ijustworemytrenchcoat · 10/06/2015 23:29

YANBU.

Did he get the sunburn at nursery or after when he was with your in laws though? You say you sent the sun cream, does that mean to nursery?

I like to put on a once a day sun cream in the morning before I get my son dressed so I can get it right over his neck, chest and shoulders easier. I then top him up and would expect whoever is looking after him to do so as well.

Littlefish · 10/06/2015 23:29

Was it a normal suncream, or an all day one?

I've always found the long lasting ones to be really good and have never needed to reapply them.

Original poster

CurlyWurley · 10/06/2015 23:34

It's Nivea kids 50+ so not an all day. Think I'll be at the shops tomorrow to purchase an all day one. Thank you!

The cream is in his bag so goes to both nursery and inlaws.

OP posts:

Quasicrystals1456 · 10/06/2015 23:35

Riemanns p20 works a treat on my very fair children. It stains white stuff but goes on easily and dries quickly.

Rockingly expensive though.

Pico2 · 10/06/2015 23:36

You could say that the nursery commented on it. Even if they didn't. That way it isn't you being picky.

Quasicrystals1456 · 10/06/2015 23:38

Oh yes ^ say that ^

BabyMurloc · 10/06/2015 23:41

How do you know its ils? Could be nursery?

karinmaria · 10/06/2015 23:46

It's not clear from your OP if he was sunburnt at nursery or at your in-laws. If nursery aren't applying suncream appropriately then I'd be furious - that is their job and you pay for them to do this.

If it is your in-laws then you need to tell them on sunny days can you please apply suncream, here's the bottle, his neck and legs were sunburnt yesterday etc.

My dad looks after my DS one day per week and the care isn't the same level as at nursery, but it's worth it for the time they get together. I just figure I need to remind him of basic stuff more often e.g. Applying suncream regularly, changing his nappy v soon after a poo etc.

If you're not happy after a few weeks/month or so that they're listening then you might need to look for alternative wrap around care

Original poster

CurlyWurley · 10/06/2015 23:50

pico that's great think I'll be using that!

baby I asked inlaws last night specifically to reapply the lotion at lunchtime today as they tend to be in the garden a lot and we knew it was going to be warm again.

The p20 sounds a good shout

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 10/06/2015 23:52

Have you asked your in làws to sun screen him?

LaLyra · 11/06/2015 00:18

I think you need to be careful in how you approach it as it could be the nursery.

Do your inlaws pick your DS up from nursery? If so I'd be wary of saying anything to them about the nursery mentioning it in case they in turn mention it to the nursery.

If anything I'd do it the other way round - tell inlaws you are going to speak to the nursery because DS has caught the sun and you know they'll have reapplied the cream after lunch like you chatted about, but they obviously haven't in the morning. If them looking after Ds is so important I'd even ask them to let you know if he looks particularly red coming out of nursery - that way they'll likely be more careful and they'll also keep an eye on him in case it is the nursery.

karinmaria · 11/06/2015 00:33

If you specifically asked your in-laws to apply the suncream at lunchtime he could still have had a burnt neck by the end of the day. I think you need to check with both nursery and your in-laws - ask them both to regularly apply sunscreen to prevent burning. Nursery should be able to log it if necessary to help you figure out if it's them or your in-laws.

TheAnswerIsYes · 11/06/2015 09:15

How about you just talk to them? They won't want your child sunburnt either so just remind them to reapply the sun cream after nursery. You might as well get the all day sun cream as well but this is not a big deal so don't make it one.

BertrandRussell · 11/06/2015 09:31

I don't understand why you're so angry- these things happen. All you have to do is say to both the nursery and your in laws "X got a bit burnt yesterday- could you make sure he's got sunscreen on?" Sorted.

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