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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WWYD? Someone at work shagging boss

38 replies

namechangedincase23 · 10/06/2015 21:47

I've name changed for this.

A girl at work who is junior to me has started a relationship with junior partner.

It's pretty grim as he is in a LTR and I assume his partner is unware but they are fairly blatant at work and everyone is gossping about it.

So far so no of my business.

However, she has now got the partner to change her role. This is undermining her manager, me and a fair few other people. She's basically been promoted and is now involved in lots of areas of the business that she really shouldn't be. Including my areas where I neither want nor need her involvement.

The Senior Partner doesn't know yet. I've got a feeling he might sort it out when he does find out as he wants this girl out of the business anyway, but he's out of the country.

I really don't want to work with her on projects and if she wasn't shagging one of the partners I would be senior enough to just tell her to jog on. But she is which makes it tricky.

He's making a total fool of himself which is up to him, but it's affecting the business and it's going to affect my role.

How would you handle this? I'm thinking of sending an e-mail saying 'it's all in hand thank you. If I need some support I will approach your manager who would deal with that." I probably will do that as it's pretty absurd. But beyond that, WWYD?

OP posts:

Salmotrutta · 10/06/2015 21:54

Tell her you don't need her involvement.

In a "Thank you so much for offering but I've got it covered" type of way.

Let her know the offer, whilst appreciated, isn't necessary.

Or just say "Isn't that a bit above your pay grade?"

whois · 10/06/2015 21:55

Ugh nightmare!

What is your relationship with the senior partner like? Can you talk to him when he is back?

Theycallmemellowjello · 10/06/2015 21:57

I think you've got to work with whoever you're put with on the team. You have no proof as to why she got the job. I get why it's frustrating, but it's not for you to sort out - you've got nothing to gain and potentially a lot to lose by interfering.

Original poster

namechangedincase23 · 10/06/2015 21:58

My relationship with the Senior Partner is good. I can talk to him. I feel somewhat as though it isn't my place, so I am concerned if I should but it si damaging the business and I am on the board.

OP posts:

Original poster

namechangedincase23 · 10/06/2015 21:59

It's a legal firm too and fairly conservative so this sort of thing is frowned on in general

OP posts:

Corygal · 10/06/2015 22:02

Oh Dear. This happened to me. My female boss worked her way through the rota of males in the firm, one of whom was my only colleague on the team. I was miles better at my job than he was and he was vile to me - set me up to fail, demeaned me lavishly in public, you name it.

There's nothing you can do, to be honest. It's awful.

But follow the rules and keep your mouth shut. Wait for senior mgt and see if they act - be prepared for the fact they might not, in which case look for another job.

Mind you, they got their come-uppance - unhappily married now, and she's stuck with an unemployable husband. He couldn't keep a job without shagging the boss, see.

MissJoMarch · 10/06/2015 22:02

Get her involved in something mundane, that doesn't matter but keeps her busy.

If she whinge a it's mundane she looks like a poor team player.

Means you can keep your head down & wait for senior partner to sort it out

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 10/06/2015 22:02

How long until senior manager is back?
Only a few days...? Just go for the "no help needed, thanks" comments.
Longer term...? Email the boss, with your 'suspicions' of things going on.
Or give her a job you know she can't handle, and wait for her to fail.

whois · 10/06/2015 22:04

Mao my plan would be a 'thanks for the offer of help but all under control at the moment but I'll def bear you in mind when we need assistance in the future' email to the girl.

Then when s.p. Is back I'd book a 'coffee catch up' in with him and have a word. Somethin along the lines of 'very surprised x has been promo to those roles. There is an awful lot of speculation amoungst the firm that this was a unilateral decision by Mr shagger which looks a bit unprofessional given they are romantically involved. What are your thoughts?'

Original poster

namechangedincase23 · 10/06/2015 22:05

2 weeks till he is back so I think I can hold her off with the "thanks but no thanks" approach.

I like the mundane idea. I can think of a few things that would keep her busy but away from me for 2 weeks

OP posts:

whois · 10/06/2015 22:06

Ah ha yes the 'great, thanks for the offer of help, I need detailedresearch on these 200 companies entered into this target tracker' approach!

BreadmakerFan · 10/06/2015 22:06

She doesn't get to be your boss by shagging osmosis. By saying you can't tell her to do one because she's shagging a colleague you are giving her importance and power way way beyond what she has.

BabyMurloc · 10/06/2015 22:08

Is there anyone else you can go to? Another board member maybe? Basically someone else in the company who can be a sounding board and help you decide what to do? Can you actually contact the senior partner whilst he is a away? Maybe casually in a "this has happened and I found it out of character for usual business practice so just wanted to run it past you"

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 10/06/2015 22:08

is the big boss on holiday? do you have HR?

I've worked with a similar situation more than once and it is really unpleasant. Problem is that people go along with the unofficial promotion because they don't want to rock the boat. Give her work suitable to her level (and below!!)

sherbetlemonD · 10/06/2015 22:09

If it's going to affect your job OP- then yes it is your business. You don't need to go into the whole shagging debacle but merely express your concerns about this girls "promotion" and her ability to take on the the work involved. Sound like the "concerned" for her colleague- not the collegue who listens to the office gossip IYSWIM and let's face it, most of do it- it's human nature

BabyMurloc · 10/06/2015 22:10

Also what breadmakerfan said. From what you say you ARE superior to her but seem bothered about telling her to jog on because she's shagging someone superior to you? Don't give her that power. The busy work idea is great.

Gruntfuttock · 10/06/2015 22:11

Why does the senior partner want her out?

Viviennemary · 10/06/2015 22:14

What about going to the junior partner and making no comment or even hint there is anything untoward about him and her but just saying it's not working at the moment having her in this different role and would he mind if she just carried on with her job as it was. This happened once where I worked and she got promoted far above her capabilities. They got rid of both of them in the end.

Original poster

namechangedincase23 · 10/06/2015 22:36

The SP wants her out because she's bloody useless. In fact I've been made aware of 3 client complaints against her this week which I will be dealing with as I would regardless of who she is shagging. SP is on holiday and not contactable.

You're all right about not empowering her.

I think I will contact the SP when he is back, have a coffee and go with the "I'm surprised about this promotion as it's not working, seems to have been a unilateral decision and above her abilities yada yada" without mentioning the shagging.

I'm also going to bounce it off a few other board members and see if we can get a joined up approach to dealing with this.

OP posts:

DodgedAnAsbo · 10/06/2015 23:06

I worked with a manager who was put in this predicament by a lusty young junior. She did not refuse to work with the young lady but she did look mr sh@gger in the eye, at the coffee machine, in front of the office and asked him 'are you any good in tribunals?'.
She outlasted the pair of them

Fatmomma99 · 10/06/2015 23:30

Oooo. This sounds good. I like a legal drama (sets series link). Is Maxine Peake starring? Or is it set in America?

What's an LTR?

Sounds like you've got it covered, OP. Let us know how it goes.

Noneedtoworryatall · 10/06/2015 23:42

Long term relationship

Fatmomma99 · 10/06/2015 23:44

OOOOOO!!!!

Getthewonderwebout · 10/06/2015 23:48

Grit your teeth and get on with it for the time being. If the senior partner wants her out, her days are numbered anyway, and it's not a good idea to be seen as stirring anything up. Ok, it's going to be shit for a bit but just remain professional.

DowntownFunk · 10/06/2015 23:57

OP you sound blinkered and bitter. Are you quite sure she's been promoted for shagging? She may also be good at her job. You don't seem wiling to explore that option.

Have you actual proof she is shagging the SP? Or are you listening to puerile office gossip?

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