To want my BF to rent his house out?

[stuffedup]

I'm 7 weeks pregnant. BF and I own our own homes and don't live together. I have two DC's who live with me 50% of the time. My house is bigger and is close to DC's school, and is in a nice area. I think the most sensible thing is for BF to rent his house out and move into mine once the baby arrives.

While he has grudgingly agreed to move into mine he doesn't want to rent out his house. He used to be a DJ and has loads of music equipment and records. He's wanted to set up a studio in his house for ages and doesn't want to give that up. There isn't enough room at mine for his studio but I've got a massive garden and we've talked about building a studio in the future, so I'm not asking him to give it up forever. I'm not happy with him keeping his house on for this reason alone as it means we'll struggle financially purely to support his hobby, and the only way it would be worthwhile is if he was spending a few nights a week at it. I don't want him out three nights a week while I'm dealing with a newborn.

He feels that I'm expecting him to give up everything, his life is over, and just slot into my life. I do understand that it's a big sacrifice to make but I feel he needs to be realistic and work out what's most important. AIBU?

I know that sounds ridiculous! but it's been a long slog sorting out financial matters and I feel like I dont want to be financially tied / dependant for the time being. This way we both get to keep our own houses and neither loses out financially. I'm not saying we'll never buy together, just not right now.

Man child. Your gonna struggle with him. He isn't really ready for this.

Yes we were together. We've been together over a year but we're friends for years before getting together. The plan always was that he would keep his house so that he could rent it out. It would be our pension. But this was on the basis that we would either build a studio at mine or move somewhere bigger. But then I got pregnant earlier than expected and his studio dream is up in smoke!

If that was the plan, YANBU. He has to accept these new circumstances. Your pregancy has changed things unalterably. If he isn't willing to compromise, it's not good.

(But please, property as a pension? ugh. I implore you not to join the hordes of rentier britain.)

If you don't want to be financially tied to him, then it makes sense for him to keep his house available, especially as you've only been together a short amount of time.

It does sound like things are moving very fast, and his reluctance doesn't make him a man child.

There is nothing wrong with renting out.

There's a thousand reasons why landlordism is going to destroy the social fabric of this country in the years to come Tequilashotfor1. Only the proverbial ostrich can't see that. However, the OPs issues aren't anything to do with that. They are do with a man who is refusing to accept the consequences of getting someone pregnant.

He only bought his house six months ago? He probably won't get permission to let it out then, as his mortgage company will suspect he has fraudulently got a residential mortgage when he didn't really intend living there. Letting without permission negates your buildings insurance, and is a disaster waiting to happen.

Conversion to a BTL mortgage will need at least 25% equity, and usually ownership of another property, plus the rent will need to meet affordability criteria. Being a decent landlord isn't straightforward, and shouldn't be done by people who have no intention of being professional about it.

He doesn't sound desperately committed, I hope it works out for you. I certainly wouldn't be doing anything to risk my home or rushing into a joint purchase.

I wasnt aware of that msrinky, thank you. He does have over 25% equity but obviously doesn't own another property.

He has actually just text saying that he's sorry and we have a lot to think and talk about. I'm conscious he's only had a week to come to terms with this so maybe I am being unreasonable. I just feel vulnerable and stressed at the moment!

Good news. Early days, I'm sure he'll realise that there will inevitably have to be changes with a little one on the way now. Good luck with it all!

Renting out now would require him to convert to a btl mortgage including paying the same redemption fees that he would pay if he sold.

I think the studio is a symbol. His day-job is almost a cliche of being boring.

If he moves in with you, he has to become a stepfather, as well as dad to a newborn. And adjust to a live-in relationship with you. On your turf.

That's a huge change in his image of himself. The DJaying isn't just a hobby. It represents part of his personality that means a lot to him. Without it, I think he'd feel you'd swallowed him whole.

I don't think he'd be happy in his new life. He might adjust to it in time. Particularly if he turns out to be a great dad. But I don't think it'll help your relationship if you push too hard for what you want on this.

I don't really blame him. Or you for wanting him to live with you and be a 24/7 father. But I think you have to accept the fact that the not particularly ideal timing of this pregnancy will mean a fair compromise, not having things entirely on your terms.

Keep the two houses and he gets a lodger to help cover the costs. He could get a Mon-Fri one and there wouldn't be a problem with tax.