about flexible working?

[JessieMcJessie]

Disclaimer: I do not work in the UK and so UK employment law does not apply and there are no local laws on this. I do however work for an international company.

I have just been involved in a discussion where one boss was trying to encourage other bosses to agree to requests for flexible working arrangements made by women in their teams who had small children.

He was doing well encouraging this but the entire discussion was all about "women" and "mothers". I suggested to the meeting that if we are going to have such a policy it should not be confined to female employees. I was told afterwards that this was just muddying the water and we'd have more trouble getting it through for women if we scared colleagues into thinking that any parent could apply. Basically the pro-flexibility boss said "one step at a time". My view is that if you start out with it being a women only policy then it will always be seen as one and it should not be.

Was I being unreasonable?

But Lovely that is incredibly sexist, isn't it? Would you say that about male colleagues? Surely we should let women choose when they return to work full time and not criticise women who genuinely want to go back with only a couple of weeks or a month off?

it is much much easier to sit at a desk being treated like a small time God (ie office work) than being at home with a brand new baby, toddler and 3 year old which is what we had at home after baby number 3 which is really hard work to manage on your own. Toddlers don't disappear just because a new baby is born and many of us don't like near parents and cannot afford servants after a birth.

Lotus, when my male colleagues can carry and give birth to a baby, I'll tell them to stat at home. Until that day I would rather employers make their policies right for women so that they can rest and bond with their baby. Two weeks is a ridiculously short space of time. I didn't even leave hospital for a week. I'd expect a male colleague who had major abdominal surgery to stay off for the recommended amount of time.

To treat everyone the same is not treating them equally. Women and men should have policies in their workplace which recognise those differences.

There should be enough flexibility in the workforce so individuals can find a pattern appropriate for themselves, while not compromising the business of their employer.

Everyone had different circumstances, and if a woman feels that it is appropriate for her to have a short maternity leave, there should be mechanisms which allow for this, including those which allow her partner to work flexibly if required to accommodate this.

This genuinely almost makes me cry.

Such good intentions. Such a bizarre result. Flexible working for women only. Ffs. Way to a) possibly break the law b) definitely perpetuate traditional gender roles c) wind up all the men who see women getting special treatment.

Maternity rights do recognise women give birth - we get 6 weeks at 90% pay and men get just about nothing. We have the new right for those rich enough to afford not to get paid much at all for 6 months to take 6 months and the husband the next 6 months but that's only for those who can live on SMP which is not most people.

The OP wasn't about maternity rights, there's far more to parenthood than the first year of a child's life.

Both parents should have equal abilities, responsibilities and rights when it comes to caring for their children, and when it comes to working. I cannot see any reason why this shouldn't be so.