To not really like school sports days

[midlifehope]

Ds is only 3 1/2 and they had a nursery race. Have come away feeling odd about the whole thing I thin I'm a hippy homeschooler at heart

Thanks BettyCatKitten! My son has an occupational therapist and she also suggested strategic 'illness' on sports day!

Good, take him somewhere nice instead of boring old sports day! I bloody used to hate them.
For some kids it's ritual humiliation on a grand scale. Not good for the soul.

Snidge you shouldn't HAVE to keep him at home on sports day as "Betty* suggests.

Make an appointment with the HT and ask her about the possibility of including some other races...just ONE race at which your son could have a chance...I can't think of what he might be able to do...but infants could roll balls down tubes...and see who'se goes furthest.

I really feel your pain. my DD isn't disabled but she NEVER wins...usually last....and she's humiliated.

Ah Snidge I feel your pain. I have a little boy with Autism, he goes to mainstream school. He has a statement and an LSA. He really struggles with sports day because school is not normal on that day. His sports day is an all day affair, different activities in the morning, picnic, if parents are attending, for lunch, then sitting around waiting to race and all afternoon getting increasingly upset and unhappy. Last years was particularly hellish which included his LSA being so absolutely horrid to him another parent who witnessed it reported her to the Head master. This same LSA also tried to physically prevent me from going over to my son whilst he was crying his eyes out and not coping with any of it. He has a different LSA this year, thank goodness, who is really lovely and completely gets him. Even so I just want to let him stay home instead of him having to endure another day of crap. He is not particularly sporty, he would prefer to sit on the field looking for insects and interesting stones. Have decided if he is struggling at lunch time then I just want to take him home but I find the whole big fat lot of it so incredibly stressful. Sigh. OP, sports days suck big time.

Oh no neither did I. And Christ on a bike, don't mention that mum's race.
All the competitive mums would be participating and taking it proper serious. . Stoned faced whitest running. Not a smile in sight. The words smile give your face a holiday come to mind.FFS. It's a sports day race not the freeking Olympic Games. If I was to bleedin run I'd fall over

I get that it's good for the sporty, non-academic kids to get a chance to shine, but there isn't an equivalent for the more academic, non-sporty, is there? They don't line all the kids up in front of parents and grandparents and get them to read competitively, do they? Children who are good at art or music don't compete in public against those who don't enjoy or shine at these activities . If there are events for these things, then they are for those who enjoy the activity and not for all to take part in. And that's fine. Why does every pupil have to compete in sports day?

Rogina for the academic it is called end of year exams, SATS, common entrance, GCSEs, A levels. Tends to be an annual event from the age of 4.

At my dc's school there is a music concert once a term that every child has to participate individually in regardless of no music lesson bar class time or G8 prodigy.

Our school has an end of year prize giving, which is an opportunity for the more academic children to shine. Neither of my children have ever won anything at this.

My dd (10) has also never won anything at sports day - she has taken part in 6 and has come last in every single race. She hates it!

My ds (7) has taken part in 3 sports days and has come first in every single race he has ever taken part in.

Therefore I am on the fence. I see how miserable it makes dd but on the flip side it makes ds so happy and gives him a chance to shine. My friend's school do sports day very informally with no parents there to watch - I think that is a good idea. It is very informal and a much smaller audience.

Dd so hated the one in reception, in year 1 she solemnly said she felt ill. I went along with it and we had a nice day reading on the sofa ignoring all the cheering (live next to school)

Well, all the parents at school plays might see their child, who has not won a part, in a minor role. Or perhaps not winning a solo at a concert.

They probably don't see how things are in class for the higher or lower performers.

Though their children will see all those things.

Why is not doing well at sports day (one day a year, and probably fewer rehearsals that concerts/plays have) worse from the child's POV?

Or is no-one going to be allowed to shine at anything? Or perhaps just exclude one area?

In my experience it's the same children shining in sports, music and academically.

I also think end of year exams aren't usually a spectator event for the whole school and their parents.

At my dc's school there is a music concert once a term that every child has to participate individually in regardless of no music lesson bar class time or G8 prodigy.

But presumably those with less experience are singing in the choir or playing recorders en masse, not doing violin solos?

In my experience a huge deal is made about the sporty kids and no fuss at all about the musical or arty ones. There's a 3 line whip for sports day. There is no 3 line whip for concerts or recitals. Those are held outside school time and the only people who go are the parents of the kids involved. Every week we get stuff in parentmail about sporty kids. Nothing about musical ones, even kids who play in national ensembles.

I hated sports day as a child. Even aged 5 I remember praying for rain. My boys seem to enjoy their nursery sports day though, its only an hour, some silly races and they all looked like they were having fun which is the only point really when you're aged between 2 and 4.

Opposite at our school, which is a vey sporty school historically but the Head is into music and drama. Music and drama plastered all over the website, details of sporting successes (think winning leagues with teams from school etc) barely if ever mentioned.

I'm not sure about the whole comparison with music anyway. One could argue that sports promote a healthy lifestyle, and music isn't really a necessity.

I agree that the sporty kids tend to also be the ones that do well academically, IME. But the argument that academic non sporty children don't get their pat on the back is bullshit. Achievement awards, streaming, maths contests, science workshops, G & T events etc etc.

It's interesting that in threads about the 11+, posters who raise the issue of the negative impact of public academic "failure" at 10 are roundly poo-pooed ( love that expression!). But there seems universal consensus that coming last in the egg and spoon race in front of your class mate's grand parents at the age of 7 is humiliating and potentially damaging.............

Excellent point Bertrand. Like it's OK for Keanu to be looked down on and jeered at for not being clever, but not OK for Jonty to be taken the piss out of because he's crap at running.

Double standards.

And the worst sort. How many kids are going on to career success and financial stability because they win the obstacle race?

Zonout, I'm not in England so we don't have any exams till about 14 years old. Prize day at primary has some academic awards but also the sports awards as well as ones for kindest or most helpful. I'm happy for sports skills to be recognised in the same way as other skills, but not for public humiliation - for anyone.

I think most children are fine at sports day. However for some children (particularly those with things like asd and dyspraxia) it is just a miserable day for parent and child.

I haven't noticed many people on this thread complaining about the long term effects of sports day.

The OP is about sports day. I am sure that a quick search will find threads where children feel sad or left out for all sorts of reasons.

We used to have non competitive carousel of sport activities at the infant school I work at.

It was okay I guess. Not much enthusiasm from children really bar the fact they were at the park rather than in school. Not many parents came. It was a bit like watching a PE lesson.

Then about 3 years ago we changed to competitive for y1 and y2. Children divided into 'houses' and stickers for 1st, 2nd and 3rd given out plus a different numbered ticket for their house based on position. Stickers for taking part too. Big assembly at end of week to announce winning house. Much bigger deal now. Lots of enthusiasm and many more parents attend. Parents races available for those who want to take part - quite competitive! And a staff race for those who choose - again competitive, but the children love it!

I would want to go back to the non competitive version. But we don't have issues with tears, humiliation, etc. it's just not that type of event. It's all fun with a competitive edge.

Mind you we do also have events where other children are acknowledged. We've had a lot of drama and singing events recently. We do a big end of year show for y2. We have star of the week and reading certificates. We acknowledge out of school achievements in music, sport, language classes, drama and more - whatever a child brings in really.

So it's not just sporty children who are acknowledged.

Merrymouse they all do a solo, yes it is sometimes painful, but they sing a song, play recorder, beat a snare drum or whatever talent they want to share!

Zoneout's music concert would have been for me as a child the ultimate humiliating nightmare.

My DD's primary school seem to have a good balance of participation and competitiveness. They start with a series of activities and mini relay races, divided into their houses within classes, and work round each activity, scoring points towards a total. No-one really knows who is winning, and no one child comes last, it's all a team effort.

Then they move onto sprinting races and the egg and spoon, for which there is a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place given, again scoring points for their house. This part is optional, and no one has to enter if they don't want to. Although the majority do.

At the end, a house is announced as the winner.

I think it's a good mixture of competitiveness and fun, and no-one is forced to enter individual races if they don't want, they can sit and cheer and their friends instead.