Lad's Holiday Again...

[Konstantine27]

My dh and his friend took a holiday together in Thailand earlier this year while I held fort back at home for six nights looking after our 18 month dd. I don't have an issue with him holidaying with friends, and I myself am taking a three night trip with a friend later on this year. But less than two months after this holiday they're planning another weekend away together to visit a friend in the South of France. Which would leave me in sole childcare for another three nights (our families don't live close by). AIBU to think this is taking the mickey, while we have a family trip booked later this year, we haven't been away together in the interim and while I didn't mind the initial trip I feel that two back to back trips is asking a lot of me. Not to mention the fact that this friend seems to be treating my husband like his new travel companion.

This friend is single so I don't have another female viewpoint on this to offer them and I feel like I'm going round in circles.... TIA

YABU

Is it that you're jealous of him having child-free time? Or that he's spending this child-free time with the friends not you

mrstwee - are you OK?

I find it hard to understand any grown man or woman having lads and girls holidays tbh, when they are married with children.
maybe its a generational thing, I'm not sure.
To me it's like pretending you don't have responsibilities and a family, but each to their own, I suppose.

I personally wouldn't have an issue with it. I have time away with my friends and dh has time away with his. What we do make sure though is that we have time together and good quality family time with the chilldren. It's all about balance as long as he wouldn't have an issue with you going away with your friends. Maybe you are feeling this way as you are the one stuck at home

Morethanpotatoprints I don't think it's a generational thing as much as a narrow minded/judgemental thing.

I know of many people including friends parents my aunt etc who have been on holidays without their kids and spouses

I have never really experienced this mind set though, that was why i thought it may be generational.
Perhaps it's just the circles we move in, the friends we have.
Until I came on here I really hadn't heard of it.
You got married and when you had kids you gave all that up, if you ever did it in the first place.
It was the same with stag and hen parties.
You went out round town with your mates and agreed with your future intended which pubs/clubs were hens and which were stags.
I never knew anybody who went abroad and had a holiday.
It's not a judgement that I can't understand, more of wonder when it all changed

I think your husband is posting on netmums

www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/advice-support-40/families-relationships-50/1314057-husbands-holiday.html

Stick! So he is!!

Morethan I think what you've described is very unhealthy.

Since when does getting married and having children mean you have to give up on your independence completely

I could never be with someone who expected that. Maybe it's because I'm young, but I really don't think I could

If it is the husband on net mums he's cancelled the trip anyway. Sorry OP but I think YABVU

As long as he isn't using up all his leave or all your savings meaning there is no family holiday, and he is happy to look after the baby while you go away. I don't see the problem.

I find it a bit baffling when people complain about looking after their own children without the other parent for a few days.

morethanpotatoprints you sound just like my Mum

The thread over there made me wonder if perhaps Nathan doesn't put enough effort into couple time anyway. He was all a bit "she doesn't understand my high-flying lifestyle" and "what do you SAHMs want?" If Konstantine feels he isn't paying much attention to her as the person she is, maybe sees her as 'a mum' rather than the woman he married, then I can see why she's annoyed about his choosing time alone with friends over time alone with her.

Stick - what are you doing 'on the dark side'

Again if it's him on NM they went away to NY and Dubai last nov and are going to the Carribean this Nov for 3 weeks.

maybe someone is a bit of a princess

Also am I the one who finds it a bit odd that The two threads were posted within 20 minutes of each other

Funnily I seen your husbands message on another board today. His story is slightly different from yours and seems yes yabu.

Yes sherbert lemon, bit of a coincidence that.

sherbetlemon I am very old and I go away with friends all the time.

The idea of giving up being an individual on marriage went out with the ark, surely

I have read a thread on netmums kill me now

OP is that really your DH?! What a coincidence!

I've just read it

Op with your trips to NY and Dubai with Florida coming up and then your winter break in the Carribean I wouldn't sweat it about his 3 nights away.

Are you Judith Chalmers?

Oh and enjoy your break in the Cotswolds and your Malta Mini break.

I forgot those

Oh and now I've just read that OP said it would be OK if he takes her away in the mean time.

--definite princess or sockpuppetry-

Sorry OP, YABVU. I've just read your OH's post on NM