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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fed up with the objectification of Poldark?

47 replies

Ennuid · 09/06/2015 09:54

Apparently Twatter blew up because he didn't take his shirt off in one of the episodes

Every bloody thread I see on here is just the same over and over: phwooooar, nomnomnom, he can plunder me anytime, those fucking breeches, OMG SWOOOON... Apparently it's fine to treat men like objects but the other way around the whole social media jumps down your throat. I remember an article on a very popular news site about how vile it is to objectify women while in the related link on the very same site you had Poldark running around half naked in a gif and an article reviewing the ''orgasmic moments'' of the show. You couldn't make it up.

Oh yes, and speaking of poldarkian comments, how could I forget my personal fav : ''Wait, there's a plot?''

OP posts:

MitzyLeFrouf · 09/06/2015 11:00

Meh.

Slobbering over Aidan Turner was all Poldark had going for it quite frankly. What a load of codswallop it was.

EponasWildDaughter · 09/06/2015 11:09

I agree with you OP. Of course it's human nature to 'fancy' people, and it's a simple natural urge to want to see more of that person's body. However i do agree that it's a bit ... to see so much hoo-har being made over a bloke ''getting his shirt off again'' on TV.

It does seem a bit ''show us y'tits love'', and double standard 'ish.

Then again some might say that women have fought for equal rights and that includes the right to openly leer over the opposite sex maybe.

Original poster

Ennuid · 09/06/2015 11:11

I'm probably about to be told male strippers are just as exploited but the ones I have seen parading about in thongs don't seem to mind, not that I make a point of going to see them of course

Nah , I don't think they are exploited, they wouldn't starve to death if they quit stripping, they aren't 12 yo orphans in Bangladesh. They could do a regular job like most people, they just prefer it because of the money and flexibility. I remember watching a few shows on strippers, most of them hated it and wanted to move on to better things but it was too convenient to quit (much like the female strippers). Take your kitt off for a couple of hours or stack shelves at ASDA all day long or do some other mind numbing 9 to 5 job like the rest of us.

OP posts:

SaulGood · 09/06/2015 11:23

I do think you make a good point. I like Poldark, the books and the series were enjoyable. I did try and find a thread on here to discuss it (perhaps I clicked on the wrong thread and there was another perfectly usable one) and it was post after post of objectification with a poster actually being sneered at for talking about the plot.

I think the fact that Poldark is sexually attractive is relevant. If he weren't attractive, the central conceit of several plots and themes wouldn't work. It's fine to comment on it, enjoy it, fantasise etc. The absolute objectification of AT however, made me extremely uncomfortable and I decided not to bother posting.

There is a double standard. Of course male objectification of women is historically a bigger issue but I can't counter it with my own hypocrisy and it was a shame to see those double standards so celebrated in the media in general.

ZombiePiglet · 09/06/2015 11:24

I wouldn't say you're being entirely unreasonable but, why are you bothered?

I, for one, was very happy to lust after a bare chested AT, and I wouldn't blame a bloke for doing the same for Eleanor T's character either.

Original poster

Ennuid · 09/06/2015 11:41

Those who mentioned reverse racism and how it's isolated, you have no idea. My marriage is interracial and we know several other couples who are white/other race. In literally each case the non-white family was far less ''enchanted'' with marrying someone different, going as far as disowning them. Some sweetened up when the babies came along, others did not. Oh and try walking as a white/black couple in any US city with a large black population then tell me which race is far more likely to look at you ''in a certain way'' or even swear at you. Been there, done that and let me tell you it wasn't white people. If looks could kill.... The other couples we know can relate 100%.

On the other point , this isn't isolated : the guy who plays Thor, H. Jackman, Magic Mike, Beckham, Ronaldo, Nadal, guy from Twilight, guy from High school musical and another million i can't be bothered to remember....................... They are everywhere. Go to any site that posts one of these guys shirtless or worse and see how many comments are about his ''personality''.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ennuid · 09/06/2015 11:47

I wouldn't say you're being entirely unreasonable but, why are you bothered?

I'm not. I don't care if they objectify him down to his protons and neutrons (I'm pretty sure he isn't crying himself to sleep every night knowing millions of women are foaming at the mouth over him), the only thing I hate is the vile double standards. Don't cry when men do it to women. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

OP posts:

ZombiePiglet · 09/06/2015 12:07

"What's good for the goose..."

My thoughts exactly! Now where did you say these websites with a topless Thor are...?

BertrandRussell · 09/06/2015 12:10

Yeah, well. When men in to public eye have to shut their accounts because it the volume of death and rape threats, then I might start taking the sexual objectification of men by women seriously.

Bramshott · 09/06/2015 13:33

I mentioned the fact he's fictitious as I had to explain to DH the difference between fancying Ross Poldark (which I did/do obvs!) and fancying Aidan Turner. I'm not sure he got it TBH, but I do think its an important distinction.

Disclaimer - I was so behind I watched the series 6 months after everyone else, so never read the threads on here, although was aware of the whole phenomenon at the time.

RiverTam · 09/06/2015 13:38

Why would it matter to your dh if you fancied AT, as opposed to Poldark?

Bramshott · 09/06/2015 13:43

It wouldn't. But as I've never met AT and don't know anything about him or what he's like as a person rather than as an actor playing a role, it would be a bit odd no?

MitzyLeFrouf · 09/06/2015 13:50

I don't think it would be odd. Would you fancy Ross Poldark if he was played by someone else? Possibly, but possibly not. I think fancying an on screen character is a mix of liking the portrayal and liking the actor.

Whereas fancying a character in a book is all about your own imagination and what it's conjured up.

Bramshott · 09/06/2015 19:02

Yes you might have a good point - maybe I'm overthinking it !

rainbow111 · 25/11/2015 15:37

Surely its about being sensative to other people's feeling. I assume if a good looking women walked past a guy in the street and he shouted phwoar women around would feel offended. As I would be if it happened to me as a man and a women did the same to another guy. I feel offended when I hear women making sexual comments about the poldark actor. Now what if I say wow Lucy vasrani that gorgous weather girl mmm those great breasts and sexy smile.are women offended by this ,if they are why would they do the same thing themselves

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 25/11/2015 17:45

Zombie!

Anotherusername1 · 25/11/2015 18:42

What's wrong with resurrecting an old thread? Better than starting a new one on the same topic. And this isn't that old.

Palomb · 25/11/2015 18:49

I re watched the whole series Poldark when I was off sick last week juat so I could objectify Ross.

Timely zombie!

WhetherOrNot · 25/11/2015 18:52

But personally, I'm all for Poldark with his shirt off. Sunday evening tv viewing perfection.

That's fine as long as you don't apply double standards to it.

No double standards - you can watch women with their shirts off on a Sunday tv if you want, nobody's stopping you

SlingMomma · 25/11/2015 18:54

Lol. Look, OK. I felt sorry for Aidan Turner when he found himself at the centre of this objectification frenzy. I think he may well have been naive about the response he was going to be on the receiving end of. And having been objectified myself at times (as I'm sure you all have done, too) it's impossible not to feel sorry for anyone who experiences such things.

However(!) despite seeing the ethics of this argument...I must confess...we have very immature senses of humour in my house and like to replace the word Poldark with the word Poledancer. I guarantee it will make anyone (similarly juvenile) wet themselves. Best try it when it's on.

"No Poledancer!! Go back to Demelza!!"
"Ooh, Poledancer!! Keep ON Poledancing!"

V sorry OP ;-)

ShelaghTurner · 25/11/2015 19:10

My problem with Poldark is, that as a long long long time lover of the books and the original adaptation, it makes me sad that everyone is concentrating on the body (which is mighty fine, don't get me wrong!) but while they're doing that they're missing out on a really cracking storyline.

rainbow111 · 25/11/2015 19:49

There are no shows on tv where you see women even walking around with little clothes on never mind topless. So where is the equality nothing for men to lust over. In poldark a comparison would be in the same show a gorgous woman walking around in just a bra with a fantastic bosom popping out whilst leaning over wringing her clothes out. Ladies imagine your husband watching with his tongue hanging out. This would be comparable to poldark scythe scene with his shirt off . How do you think you would feel about this

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