To worry about age gaps

[raindrops99]

I regret not having a 3rd DC closer in age to DS1 and DS2

Expecting DC3 now - so DS1 will be 6 and DS2 will be 4 when it's born

I feel like DS1 and DS2 will be close in age and have more in common - and the other baby will be left out a bit - am I right or wrong

Also is the 6 year age gap between the youngest and eldest a lot. When. They're 18 and 12 it will be a massive gap

Am I overthinking this?

Ds 1 is 28,DS2 13 & DS3 is 5 ,so a massive 23.5 years age gap between oldest and youngest and a 8 year age gap between the youngest 2 !

Works great for them and they are really closeand have great fun with each other. All children are different and just because DC's are close in age doesnt mean that they will share the same intrests or even actually like each other.

Just echoing others here - I do believe whether children get on is mainly determined by

1. their own individual personalities - yes being close in age may lead to more "sharing" of experiences which can be good but it can also lead to lots of jealousy and competition and being close in age will not in itself make siblings close if they are very different - I know lots of people who are not close to siblings who are a year or two apart from each other I even know of two sets of twins that really didn't get on at all from childhood to adulthood one actively dislikes their twin the other fought very hard to distance herself from her twin and was far closer to her younger sister who was 6yrs younger

2. parents attitude - favouring one child or not doing stuff together eg seeing each child in isolation can impact on closeness

A friend of mine has a sister 8 years younger than she is - they are the best of friends, and talk to each other at least three times a day. They see each other all the time, and are very very close.

I also have a group of friends, in which the youngest is 15 years younger than the oldest. We're all very close - age doesn't even come into it.

There are 5.5 years between my eldest and youngest (with one inbetween) and they get on fabulously now, at 11 and 5.5. They just 'get' each other, and have v similar (but complementary) personalities.

They are also different genders, which many people told me would mean they were never close.

Ironic really, when my sister and I detested each other from day one (am v close to my 8yrs younger brother). And DH has a brother 18months older and they are chalk and cheese, keeping a polite but steely distance now.

It absolutely, 100pc depends on personality more than any other factor.

And there's the added bonus that you get more years with a little one in the family. Friends of mine who had their kids very close together now bemoan the fact that they both grow up at pretty much the same time (eg leaving primary school in successive years). Which might be a positive for some, I know....

I think personalities (and perhaps the way your parents treated you) are a much more important factor in how close siblings are.

My dcs are all very close in age and while they do play together a lot, they also squabble a lot. The eldest and youngest probably get on best.

I'm really close to my sister (4 year gap). And pretty close to my brother (10 year gap). Less so to my other brother (6 year gap).

Dh is much closer to his brother (8 year age gap) than his sister (2 year age gap)

I've got a friend with very similar age gaps to yours and the older two absolutely dote on the little one. Plus you can't always plan this stuff! Happy families come in all shapes and sizes

Two of the closest brothers I know have nearly 20 years between them!

DH is six years older than his sister and they've always been very close. My sister is 2.5 years younger than me and while we get on fine we're not especially close and fought a lot growing up. There are pros and cons to any age gap IMO.

Five years between my DC, not by design just the way things worked out. They are very close.

Not much you can do about it now anyway , so I wouldn't worry.

If it eases your mind, DH and his sister are about 2 years apart and have nothing in common and rarely speak/ see each other. Me and my DS are 5 years apart and while we fought like cats and dogs until I was 17 and generally hated each other as kids are incredibly close.

Seriously these threads are ridiculous. I am thirteen years older than my brother and we adore each other. My best friend and her sister are a year apart and they haven't spoken in years. Age gaps don't matter in the slightest, there's so much more to siblings getting on or not than that!! FWIW the sibling closest in age to me is nearly five years younger and then next sister is four years younger than her, followed by brother (another 4 years younger). We're a very tight knit group.

I have siblings a year younger than me, a year older than me, 3 years older, 6 years older and 8 years older...I'm closest to my sibling who is 6 years older- we have the most in common!

Don't worry about it

I had three kids in two years, no twins.

In fact from tomorrow my two eldest will both be the same age until the end of July.

How I wish I had left bigger gaps op

Overthinking it.

My sis has 18 months between her first two, then 5 years between 2 and 3.

At the moment (all under 10) they get on really well and of course the relationship will be different between a 3 year old and a 10 year old than the 8 and 10 year old, but it doesn't mean its not as good.

Huge gap to my sis, 11 years and we are v close as adults and I totally idolised her growing up.

Anyway 18 and 12 sounds like a big gap, but 22 and 28 isn't that big a gap and 32 and 38 is nothing.