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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to this dinner even if I'm not invited?

42 replies

Primafacie · 08/06/2015 19:39

I just found out that one of my colleagues (let's call him Jason) has organised a big business dinner this week for one of my clients. He has invited 8 other colleagues but seemingly forgotten to invite me, even though I am the client manager. I don't want to be too specific but I have devoted a lot of time building the relationship from scratch and it represents a substantial six-figure annual income for our business and is very profitable.

Two of the colleagues who are invited pointed out to Jason that I should be attending. I also emailed Jason to say I wanted to attend. Jason's reply was non-committal - he basically said I might be able to come if other people cancel as he's got too many acceptances at the moment.

WIBU to reply to Jason that I intend to attend, even if it means bumping another colleague off?

OP posts:
Sconejamcream · 08/06/2015 19:43

What does your manager say about this? I wouldn't be happy, as I would take it as he thinks you can't do your job.

Original poster
Primafacie · 08/06/2015 19:46

I don't have a manager as such, but my group head is one of the two colleagues who think I should attend.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 08/06/2015 19:47

Yes escalate, escalate, escalate. You shouldn't have to wait on people cancelling to attend dinner with your own client,

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 08/06/2015 19:47

Ask him to email Jason to tell him you're going.

gamerchick · 08/06/2015 19:47

Or he's trying to pinch your glory?

Sconejamcream · 08/06/2015 19:48

You need to go, without a doubt.

SouthWestmom · 08/06/2015 19:48

Hi Jason, haha anyone would think you had a hidden agenda! As the client manager it would look ridiculous not to attend and could threaten the relationship by hinting at some internal tension. I look forward to joining you on xx

museumum · 08/06/2015 19:49

Tell him you have a relationship with the client and it would look rude to them if you didn't attend so he'll just have to find you a place.

Lucy61 · 08/06/2015 19:52

Definitely up to something! I'd email to say I'm coming and cc the group head.

thetroubleis · 08/06/2015 19:54

Ring up the restaurant and add another chair to the table Grin

No problems then.

CookieLady · 08/06/2015 19:55

Noeuf's suggested email is good. I'd send that.

PatsyNoPasta · 08/06/2015 19:55

Why is Jason organising a business dinner for your client? Is he trying to muscle in on your territory?

SylvaniansAtEase · 08/06/2015 19:57

'This is my client, as you know. I don't know what your reasons are for not inviting me, but I'm certainly not going to let them jeopardise our relationship with this person, or make the organisation look unprofessional. I'll be at the dinner, as X and X agree that I should be. You can thank me later - as the organiser, I imagine you also don't want to look a fool when Client's first question is where I am!'

Original poster
Primafacie · 08/06/2015 19:57

Thank you! I've emailed Jason and cc'd my head, saying it is important that I attend and hopefully he will get cancellations on the day so won't need to bump anyone else off.

Good point Noeuf about internal tensions, I will use it in my next email if Jason pushes back.

OP posts:
SouthWestmom · 08/06/2015 19:59

Well done. What a twunt he is.

BeenWondering · 08/06/2015 20:03

Go go and go! In fact make no bones about your attendance!

I've been in the shoes of your client before and questioned why the person who'd been managing my account didn't attend only to be fobbed off with 'she's busy' or 'she couldn't attend' and I thought it all very odd.

It transpired that she was being edged out by a particular colleague and she later told me that she'd resigned and was intentionally not invited.

Make sure to go especially so if your group head has already expressed concern over your lack of an invite.

How's your working relationship like with this Jason in other ways? I'd like to say I'm shocked at his behaviour but I've seen far worse.

BigRedBall · 08/06/2015 20:03

Jason is a shit face.

Original poster
Primafacie · 08/06/2015 20:05

I genuinely don't know if Jason has a hidden agenda or just forgot I'm the client manager. It's a big business and our lines of work are slightly different, but he's invited 5 people from my client, all of whom I know personally and I know they will expect to see me there.

OP posts:
TinTinsSexySister · 08/06/2015 20:08

Fucking hell Jason, incompetent on about 109 levels.

Fancied waving your willy about without the account manager there did you? Want some of that six figures?

Dream on dickwad.

bloodyteenagers · 08/06/2015 20:11

There's no way he forgot.
If he did as soon as it was pointed out that you should be there, he would have made apologies and booked an extra chair.
There's no need for others to drop out. An extra seat is booked.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 08/06/2015 20:11

I'm giggling like a little kid at bigredball's post.
And I've not even had a drink,

aletea · 08/06/2015 20:11

If it's at a restaurant no one needs to be bumped, just another chair added. Don't be meek!

SolidGoldBrass · 08/06/2015 20:16

If he really has invited too many people he's an idiot anyway. It's not going to look good if he has to tell even more of them not to come... (And what kind of venue can't just add a few more chairs or an extra table?)

Aermingers · 08/06/2015 20:18

There is something very fucking odd going on here. If your group head genuinely disagreed with this and thought you should be there

a) he would have put a rocket up Jason's arse
b) he would have declined the invitiation

I would be very fucking worried and would be updating my CV. I suspect that you may be being deliberately sidelined and edged out. The group head's lack of decisive response seems odd.

It sounds like you are a good employee who has made a lot of profit. Is there anything you can think of that could have prompted this? For example, have any competitors approached you about opportunities with them? Could they have got wind of it and be suspicious you are going to move on trying to take your clients with you? Or have you been thinking about setting up your own business?

It sounds fishy.

CarbeDiem · 08/06/2015 20:24

I also find it difficult to believe that Jason simply forgot
More like he thought he could get the pats on the back himself for your hard work.

No I don't think that you would BU to just go to this dinner.