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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to chat on his day off

30 replies

MrsGills · 08/06/2015 01:10

My bf is away. Today he messaged to say he's going to the pool for an hour and would text later.
I was looking forward to a chat as he works hard all week and the weekends we can have a catch up. He didn't reply till six hours later and now I feel mad with him as he said he's having an early night. Today would have been our day together if he's been at home and I've been miserable today over this. I said I'm a bit dispointed with the lack of contact and now he said he's sick of being made to feel the guilty one and he won't message again :/
That has just angered me further. AIBU?!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 08/06/2015 16:40

"I won't message again"

I'd be asking what the above meant as it just comes across as childish/passive aggressive.

In fact I'd be questioning whether the relationship really worked for me if someone wanted to play games.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/06/2015 16:42

I also find myself agreeing with sooper.

How long is a 'chat' in your world, OP? I ask because when I'm away, I ring my husband every day, we 'chat' about kids, our day, various eating (who, what, when) and it's never longer than 10-15 minutes.

However, if my mother wants a chat, I know it's an ear-melter, can take longer than an hour and now I refuse to do that on the phone, I go and see her.

I think you would do well to make your own days busy. Good advice, I think, told to me once and I took it on board.

Fudgeface123 · 08/06/2015 16:47

My DP works away and I'd be pissed off if he didn't have time for a chat, but he rings me every night and texts me every morning...I haven't asked for this, this is just what happens.

His comment about not texting again seems a bit OTT, in fact it would seem like he's avoiding you by going to bed instead of contacting you.

MrsGills · 08/06/2015 17:55

He's working away for work. There is wifi all over the hotel and he didn't go out yesterday.
He knows I miss him. It's probably blown out of proportion now but I felt let down and the "I won't message again" was like a red rag to a bull! Lol

OP posts:
ttc2015 · 08/06/2015 19:43

YANBU to miss him, but I think yabu and a bit intense. I'd wonder if this is the first time you have both had this kind of upset with him feeling pushed and you feeling ignored?

I would respect his wishes, either he's jones for you to keep chasing him or he really needs the space. Either way give him it and let him contact you. You need to enjoy and distract yourself.

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